I am unbelievably depressed. after my pre-op assessment

Good luck with your operation and take it easy, I hope your husband can help during these 6 weeks, mine is 3 weeks from now and I live alone

Hi Pam ii was like you my husband was never a good help before i went into hospital but he has surprised me at what he can do your son and husband will pull together dont worry about it and see these things they wont mean anything to you you focus on yourself and everything thing falls into place good luck

Bless you, don't be depressed.  Just explain to your husband and son what they have told you at your pre-op assessment.  You will need help at home, the garden can wait for a bit, that is the least of your worries.  Write out a shopping list for your husband and son and get them to do the shopping for you and the vacuuming.  You have two weeks so do as much shopping as you can beforehand, and get some meals that are easy to prepare, give the house a dust and polish the week before and cast a 'blind' eye to it when you get home.  The most important thing is for you to recover from the op and make sure everything is okay before you try to do things like housework.  It will still all be standing and you will be able to do a lot more after 4 weeks or so, but you must take it easy at first or otherwise you will be in trouble.  Oh and another tip cut your toenails before you go in hospital as you won't be able to for a while afterwards.  Good luck with it.

Hi Pam. I totally sympathise with how you feel. My husband has no idea about housework other than vacuuming the hearth rug. I can potter around dusting & I do all my shopping online with Tesco & shall continue even when I can drive again. Cookin hasn't been a problem after first couple of days. I'm trying not to look at the garden as its getting really overgrown & they have told me I cant mow the lawn for 12 weeks! 

Hello Pam,

The last thing you want is to be depressed BEFORE the op.  It all does sound worse than it actually is.  I live alone and am extremely independent... plus am out each day with my horse .. and HATE to be beholden on others.   I was never house proud but did like kitchen and bathroom CLEAN!  Maybe being alone is better than having "2 hangers on"!!!LOL..   I mainly eat fish, so put a load in freezer and for a first, bought  FROZEN veg!! and was pleasantly surprised how good!  I do not live close to public tranport either and as a single person Online Shopping did not really work.. and when I did try , what I needed they didn't have!  BUT my neighbour insisted on me being "beholden" to her...and I had to relent..if only for the TED socks!  She also understood my need to be independent, so never was intrusive. And on one occasion I did have to be "rescued" by my postman.. BUT surprisingly the 6 weeks did pass reasonably quickly - a feature of being older - time passes quicker!  And then I could drive WHEE!!!  Freedom again.  I was lucky too that being summer, my walking was over local fields so very pleasant strength gaining.  I am also an avid reader which helped.

 

Hi Pam. I had the same concerns. I'm a single mum of 6 and I waas worried sick. Your husband and son will step up-didn't think my children would but they did. I helped before going into hospital by writing them a 'bible'. I wrote down everything I could think of-how to use the washer, what meals I had made and put in the freezer, contact details for everyone, menu plans for a week so that they knew what to take out of the freezer or cook every night. I stocked up on loo roll, kitchhen roll, pet food and other basic essentials and set up online grocery delivery so they didn't have to shop-I ordered online. There was a rota for chores for all of them for jobs we decided were priority ones before I went into hospital. Ive had to be less fussy. Things aren't always done the way I would do them but we all agreed that as Lon as the bathroom and kitchen were clean and the floors hoovered, things like dusting would wait. Plus, I found I could iron sitting down after a couple of weeks and put a duster over anyway. Always ask for the help (if you're like me, that's the hardest part) and relax your standards a little. The important thing I to let yourself heal. Xx

i agree with the others , my hasband never did anything before but all you have to do it seems is ask! on line shopping and a small inbetween list for him to go to the supermarket, cook and freeze beforehand and dont turn your nose up at the odd take away! once you are on one crutch you can walk around the house with a duster (no skirting boards of course!) and then the men can hoover, they will feel useful and you will feel better - take care of yourself before the house, my mother always said `the house will last longer than I will` and she was right!

Hi Pam don't know how old you all are but it's about time you stopped spoiling husband and son . 

 I am not only on my own but my 94 year old dad lives with me ,!!! . A supermarket can deliver shopping and hubbie can put it away if he wants to eat . I lived on microwaved meals ok for a short time .

it is frustrating but you will have to ignore the dust and garden if you want to recover quickly and properly .

to be honest I felt like you but was so tired for first 4. Weeks that it didn't worry me .

they have to realise you are the important one for next few months .

show them our comments as we have all been. Thro it and understand . 

Good luck 

Mary x

I had a THR two weeks ago.  I worried about the same issues you mentioned in your post.  What I can tell you in my experience, the first week I wasn't able to do much.  Two weeks in and I'm walking with a cane rather than the walker.  Every day is incremental progress.  I lined up several people as contingency plans, just in case my family fell down on the job, and they did several times to this point.  If you worry about having the house clean, you could always hire a cleaning service.  I planned prior to the surgery, and completed as many tasks as I could up until the day of surgery.  I was out in the back yard this morning, sweeping a little bit, cane in one hand, broom in the other, so hopefully you'll be able to perform some light duties within a few weeks post-surgery.  Another poster had mentioned the TED socks.  It is impossible to put them on yourself.  A few nights ago I was able to take them off , but it was a struggle and they got stuck at my ankle while I was pushing on them with a reacher tool.  Definitely not a wise decision on my part, but fortunately I had just enough strength and flexibility to gingerly get them over my ankle, using my big toe.

Before getting the other hip replaced, I plan on making a checklist, with responsible person listed for each item that needs to be completed while I'm down and out.  Hopefully that will make the stress of relying on other people to perform the tasks I regularly perform a bit easier to deal with.

Good luck on the surgery!

I am sure your husband will step up to the mark, mine did he was amazing even

done to cooking, which he had never done all our married life.  He will need to wash your feet each night, put on your clean compression stockings, and you can give advice from your chair.  Good luck!

 

Hi again Pam .

 I was in hospital for 6 nights and during that time they didn't change my ted stockings . I. Know it's not ideal but as you are not doing very much you don't need to take them off every day . Mine were changed anfpd feet washed twice a week until I could shower and nobody complained about the smell ha ha . Try and relax you will be surprised how soon you will be able to do things as long as you are careful and sensible .

wherevdo you love if you don't mind me asking  x