I can't cope! I HATE PERIMENAPAUSE

Posted , 9 users are following.

I can't cope!

I am 49 and feel like a little girls sometimes.  I had little love& care from my parents when I was a child. It haunted me most of my life. Suffered with depression and had many counselling sessions and kind of coped ok for a while. I was OK for a while. Now going through perimenapause it started to HIT ME HARD AGAIN.  I feel no one cares. My husband says he understands and cares but do not show it in the way I like it. I have a 9 year old daughter.  She sometimes feels responsible for me. I get very upset.  She is very young and she shouldn't be in that position.  Then I blame my husband for not showing enough care for me to take the burden off our lovely daughter.  I watch my daughter and husband play happily and admire them. Then I feel jelous that I am not part of their fun together since I am miserable with peri .. I feel guilty, guilty. useless and unloved.  I cried and said to both my daughter and husband today that 'I am a piece of nothing just a lump" My so loving husband kept quiet but 9 year old girl comforted me in her own ways... please TALK to me some sense to save my daughter and me. HATE PERIMENAPAUSE...

1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi ImagineCelei,  I’ve been right were you are.  Better, but still struggling. I have 2 school aged children, 1 will special needs.  Happily married.  I have missed more games, and school things for my son because of this peri mess... I am only 41.  Your husband does care and love you ,however, he will never understand how you feel physically and mentally.  How can they when we have no idea what’s happening to us.  Your daughter cares immensely about you...I know because my son worries about me.  Children have this uncanny way of feeling responsible for us, especially daughters!  I would sit and cry over nonsense and felt helpless .  Not hopeless. I decided to go on some medication until I can get this all sorted out. Being a woman at this stage is a raw deal for some of us.  I feel like I’m going through intensive training for some mission.  It has taken it’s toll on me mentally, physically and spiritually.  

    You are not a lumpy pice of nothing!  If you are then we all are!  You will make it through this...we all will!  Have a good cry when you need to.  I hate perimenopause too...it is total BS! 🤗

  • Posted

    You aren’t on your own x I feel the same sometimes and it’s very hard xx 
  • Posted

    Hey Girlfriend! Hear you loud and clear! The guilt is SO overwhelming! I've said some hateful things over the past 2 years. I've just recently accepted that all of my behavior is peri menopause related. It's the WORST thing EVER! My kiddo is 16 and knows it all. My hubby hates confrontation and is the most patient person I've ever met. Thank God! He's exactly what I need in my life right now. My mom left when I was 5. No girl ever gets over stuff like that. You're being hard on yourself. Seriously. We ALL are. Old, fat, and ugly are words playing in my head ALL day long. Can't stand looking in a mirror some days. I wish I could help you. But all I can say is try to step back and look at this differently. It always helps me to realize it could be worse. Doesn't seem so sometimes, but it REALLY could be. Turning 50 isn't helping matters. You're not alone. Always here if you want to pm me to vent. Hugs.

  • Posted

    You are not a lump of nothing! That is your peri brain telling you that! A man will never understand so don't expect him to. Just let him comfort you the best way he knows how.

    You need to talk your doctor about perhaps getting on an antidepressant or anti anxiety meds. They are not a cure but may help you cope better. Your doctor may have some other ideas. Remember you are not alone! ????🌹🤗🤗🤗🤗

  • Posted

    Image , hi, 

    I have been through what you have been through and I too feel unloved by my partner and I’ve had low self esteem , low self worth and no confidence but I went for counselling and turned it around , I learned to love myself, I learned that I am a worthy person and I am loved, and that I am special we all are,  I now like myself instead of hating myself I am worthy and do are you, I imagine you being a beautiful woman , you deserve to feel good, I hope things get better for you soon god bless Jules xx 

  • Posted

    I’m sure you are seeing things ‘not as they are’ right now ... it’s a whole rollercoaster of emotions . I too have never really been depressed .. maybe a bit down now and again but nothing like this . I’m sure they both love you very much and it’s very sweet that your daughter is caring for you . 
  • Posted

    This is how I felt here lately..  A lump of something that's not worth a darn..  I know it's not true but I'm PMSing.  Husband has NO comforting words or anything..  I think he is a narcissist.  I do a lot for my teens-- some days I know they appreciate me and then others not so much.   Some days I don't mind driving them around and going to their activities and then other times I just can't do it and want to stay in and be alone.   Just be good to yourself and enjoy the good days!  You can do this for yourself and your daughter!

  • Posted

    ImagineCelebi - I want you to know that I am thinking of you tonight. You are not alone and have a strong band of sisters here in this group that are here with you during this time. It is not easy. There is some comfort knowing that what we are experiencing is all due to hormones and that we are not doing it alone. Take care and know that you are valued and have worth!

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