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I can’t seem to quit cutting.

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alex08877
alex08877

...

I’ve been a cutter since I was about 13. I started because I just had no idea how to express my feelings, and I felt that if I cut, then people would see I had negative feelings. When I got older, 14/15 I became suicidal, and I was cutting constantly for the same reason - I wanted people to see the pain I felt. I overcame this with time and stopped until I was 17. My depression had started again, and I picked up cutting. This went on until I completed school when I was 18. Once I was done with school, I stopped more or less. There were times, maybe once every couple months or so, I relapsed and would make a few cuts. I’m now 19, nearly 20, and I’m finding it extremely hard to quit. Unfortunately, I’ve picked up cutting heavily since the summertime of 2018. Every time I feel particularly strong negative emotions, I cut. Not for attention or anything, but it makes me feel better. Usually half an hour to an hour after cutting, I don’t feel the negative emotion nearly as strong, if not at all. I’ve spoken to my doctor about the possibility of having depression several times. A few times in high school, which they passed off as “normal for a teenager”, and again after I was done with school. That time, they’re explanation was “there is probably nothing wrong, pills and therapy will not help you.” This has forced me into believing there’s nothing mentally wrong with me. I’m nearly 20, and I still have streaks of intense emotional distress. I also have streaks of highs though too- its difficult to explain, and I don’t think it’s important for this discussion. I just don’t know how to stop cutting! Help?

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • patient_mod2
    patient_mod2 alex08877

    Posted

    Hi alex08877

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

  • hypercat
    hypercat alex08877

    Posted

    Hi I am sorry to hear this. I will tell you a little story I heard on another site. This girl cut her arms a lot and one day she went to cut as usual and the flesh all parted and she ended in up hospital. Yuck that's horrible.

    Cutting isn't sustainable and you run the same risk as well. Go back to your doctor and insist you get some help. Don't give up please as there is help available. Also ask for counselling as you need someone trained to talk to who will help you deal with these feelings in a better way. x

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