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i cant find a way out

Posted , 4 users are following.

lizzie45837
lizzie45837

hi im lizzie and im 13 i was dignosed with manic depression bipolar. Im on medication buts its not working ive been in a menatl instution twice and they dont help me at all. i feel alone no one understands how bad it is and i have faked it for so long i dont know what else to do. I feel like no one understands.I have cut so i can feel something other what i carry around all the time.I sleep all day and stay up all night trying to cry myself to sleep. I've carred this thing that wants to keep me down and i cant get away from it. Sometimes i wish i was dead already just to get this pain over with. I hear voices that tell me to cut till i feel good enough wich by the way is never going to happen. I need to feel better about my self but the voices wont let me its like they have total control over me and no matter how hard i fight i can never find a way out of this pain it hurts so bad and i dont know why. its been going on for 3 years and they still cant find a medication to help me and my therapist cant help me its like he dosent understand either. Nothing makes me feel worthy enough. I honestly just want to disspear. there is no way out of here for me and its hard wakeing up every day and getting dressed bacause i just want to sleep all day. Plus i have to convince myself to stay alive for the next day bacause i keep hopeing it will get better. And it never does. i have given up all hope and i just stop careing about what people think about me. cuz im just looking forward to the day when i will finally be gone for good

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • hope4cure
    hope4cure lizzie45837

    Posted

    YouR not a failure. U want to have all the things most who suffer from illness do. A loving understanding family, friends and something to look forword to every day. 

    There r meds that can help u my son I has been thru this .. Usually when he stops takin his meds. He feels bad and makes pretty much the same claims cuz he forgets how much better he is on meds.

     There r really good professionals who give so much to help and I know many u do. U r loved. People care about u. As my son has given in at times he now understands he will never give up again. Life is a gift. HE REALIZED he could feel and he could share feelings . To face the fears and stay strong.

    Take UR knowledge and the meds and counselors put them all in one treatment program as it should be... and ask for a program that teaches a trade UR r really interest in.. Make it UR goal to teach and help someone else someday too u can help others. that's is what my son does now he helps others and works to give them a life to be proud of just like u can.

    cheers

    HOPE

    many blessing sent UR way.

    CHEERS

    HOPE

  • julie1111
    julie1111 lizzie45837

    Posted

    your are a beautifull person dont let anyone tell u any drifferent! this is an illness than can be controlled and will be controlled i have met people who have survived this illness and have a full filling life you can also..hang in there your so young and have a lovely life a head of you...big hugs xx
  • sue34151
    sue34151 lizzie45837

    Posted

    Dear lizzie you need to be completely honest with the people who are trying to help you because if you don't things will never change, you must tell them about the voices and how bad you feel because there is always a medication out there that can help you feel better you just have to find the right one so each time your offered medication you will need to give it at lest six weeks before you start to feel a little better and if you don't keep going back and let them know it's not working no one should be left to get on with this alone but if your not honest with them they can't help you, what's your relationship like with your family can you talk to them about the self harming and how bad you feel, if you was my daughter I would take on the world to try to get you better I'm sure that's how your family are and if their not well you will have to take on the doctors yourself I know it's not easy but you are going to have to get the strength to do this, if you don't things will never change I know it's hard
  • sue34151
    sue34151 lizzie45837

    Posted

    Sorry lizzie  pressed the reply button to quick I'm so worried about you I was saying I know it's hard now but things will get better in time just don't give up everyone's life is for living and we all have the right to be here. I wish you lots of love

    sue

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