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hi im lizzie and im 13 i was dignosed with manic depression bipolar. Im on medication buts its not working ive been in a menatl instution twice and they dont help me at all. i feel alone no one understands how bad it is and i have faked it for so long i dont know what else to do. I feel like no one understands.I have cut so i can feel something other what i carry around all the time.I sleep all day and stay up all night trying to cry myself to sleep. I've carred this thing that wants to keep me down and i cant get away from it. Sometimes i wish i was dead already just to get this pain over with. I hear voices that tell me to cut till i feel good enough wich by the way is never going to happen. I need to feel better about my self but the voices wont let me its like they have total control over me and no matter how hard i fight i can never find a way out of this pain it hurts so bad and i dont know why. its been going on for 3 years and they still cant find a medication to help me and my therapist cant help me its like he dosent understand either. Nothing makes me feel worthy enough. I honestly just want to disspear. there is no way out of here for me and its hard wakeing up every day and getting dressed bacause i just want to sleep all day. Plus i have to convince myself to stay alive for the next day bacause i keep hopeing it will get better. And it never does. i have given up all hope and i just stop careing about what people think about me. cuz im just looking forward to the day when i will finally be gone for good
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