I don't have the will to live no more

Posted , 6 users are following.

I am 28 year old trans girl but don't get to be that way I knew I was different since 4 but cause of relationship and kids being me was put on hold but recently I have been working like mad at a hotel 12 hr shifts 7 days a week for a few months doing 200+ hrs to get under paid I lost my relationship to that work I have been bullied and I have been exposed someone found out about real me found out photos showed everyone at my work place I am now scared to leave the house I have no friends my so called mother is using one of my kids as a weapon against me I am not on the birth cerifacte cause I was told she died when she was born to found out last year she was still alive but now I haven't seen her in 8 months and my ex and my mother are just destroying my life

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  • Posted


    I would advise you take legal advice regards your Child. In the UK you can arrange a first appointment with a Solicitor, normally these are free first time arround


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    • Posted

      The problem I have is with my daughter Mia that I was told was dead I am not on birth certificate and the mother is not agreeing to put me on and not allowing me to get dna test can't get one without her permission I have only been in her life 2 months and she is 4 years old. What makes it worse is my mother who wished my oldest dead and I forgave don't know why cause she herself is a bully and getting to see my daughter and using her as a weapon against me and her mother doest care

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  • Posted

    Hi Craig. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm not a doctor but you need to talk to someone ASAP. Your doctor first .who will listen to you .you deserve to be happy. Sometimes life is hard .Please stay strong and speak to someone or phone the samaratins. Lots of love Kate x

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    • Posted

      Kate I have been trying but it's got to the point I really ain't caring about myself and I am really scared not eating even thou I want to but can't I can't sleep at night and to cause no one else pain I keep my mouth shut and I can't do it no more I had a chance to be me at 18 had a gf that supported but then when she got pregnant everything changed I was on list for hormones but she made me choose my son or hormones I choose my son and never seen him again he has been adopted for 6 years cause of my mental health and suicide attempts as a kid they used that against me and I could get my son full time. So I am f*****g shitting myself it will happen again cause even thou trans I love my kids with all my heart and they are all I have

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  • Posted

    Hi Craig,

    All of the trauma you've been through, it is no wonder you are feeling this way. It saddens me that some people (bullies) have such a need to expose others for whatever gain they feel they have a right to have. You'll find also that they have a multitude of issues themselves, however, as long as they are exposing others they feel better, they need help.

    Who you are, what you believe in and how you live your life is of no concern to anyone else. People are way too quick in directing focus onto others. The hard work is where you can get to a point of understanding that your life is just that - yours. We all have opinions though to pour derision down another's throat is tantamount to bullying. Easy to say ignore though I can tell by your post your hurting. Please if you can, talk to a professional who can help.

    I hope your life takes a turn for the better very soon. There are people who care here.

    Take things easy on yourself

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  • Posted

    Hi Craig46487,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards


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