I don't know how to get out of this situation.

Posted , 7 users are following.

 Sorry for the long post, I would really appreciate it if you read it.

I'm writing this post because basically I'm lost in life, I have no Idea what I'm

Doing or where I'm going. I think my main problem is my anxiety which keeps me from

experiencing opportunities, meeting new people and just getting on with my life. The

other thing would have to just be the lack of knowing the things that interest me,

I mean the only thing that I get enjoyment out of is hanging out with my mate and even

too much of that gets boring, I'm really hoping that all of this is the result of my

anxiety making my life seem sour when I know It's not there are people out there way

worse then me.

I've had my anxiety from around the age of six and its always stopped me from doing

things like school trips, socializing and anything that I wanted to do that I know

would make me anxious. I didn't really get drawn to any particular subjects, making

friends was more important to me because I knew it would make me happy, I would

hang out with friends rather then doing my homework which is why I didn't do so well

in school. And to this day I would still probably hang out with friends then do

work and I hate that way of thinking.

So after school I got a part time job that isn't bad if you like the type of work

but It's not for me. I'm now 20 and I'm pretty much going round in circles as far as careers

go. It'll pretty much go like this, research a career, read up about it and get

exited, anxiety kicks in a throws some worrisome thoughts and scenarios at me,

I get the thought "am I really interested in this to want to do it as a career" and I can't

answer this because I don't know what the career is really like because every time

I look up doing volunteering I get the anxious thoughts and scenarios that hold me

back. I mean I'm interested in health and helping people so I looked up physiotherapy

and I seemed interested in it, but then came the thoughts of

"what if I accidentally injured or killed someone, I might get sent to prison"

how could I do a job with this thought in my mind every day, I'd probably drive myself

crazy worrying if what I did to a patient would injure or kill them.

or

"what if when I volunteer I can't think of anything to say and I just sit there in

awkward silence"

or

"What if the place has lifts and I have to either go in one or say I don't like them

which would make it awkward"

or what If I try all of the careers that seem interesting and I turns out that

actually none of them interest me, then I'll just be stuck at some job I don't even

like. And these things terrify me enough to make just make me retreat and not pursue it further.

I know that all of these things probably stem from the anxiety but I just feel like my

whole perception of life is off. I somehow feel that everything needs to be perfect

for me to be happy, perfect job, perfect friends and I know that this will not happen

and I know that I could be happy in the situation I'm in now, yeah sure it's not ideal

but it's no where near as bad as other peoples situations so why can't I just do that

why can't I just pick a career and go for it, why can't I go out and socialize and

make more friends instead of sitting at home and wishing I had more, why can't I be

someone who would do their homework instead of going out with mates. Is it that I

truly have nothing that interests me outside of socializing because I can't make money

from that. Why am I so awkward why can't I be like a normal person and find a career that

interests me do the training needed, meet people along the way and live a decent life

with a job that interest's me enough to want to do it everyday and friends that I can

have a laugh with. I just relay don't know.

Please if anyone has gone through this please tell me how you did it

because at the moment I just don't know if this is going to end. Also any

advice on what my next steps could be because I really don't know what

to do.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Edward. You are only 20 so you have plenty of time ahead of you. You obviously haven't worked. Do you claim benefits to survive?  Why don't you volunteer in a charity shop?  You only have to do one morning or afternoon a week and at least it would get you out and mixing with people. You say you hang out with your friend - where and when do you do this? How often? As for your next steps...well you really need to take your first step and go to your doctor and see what help he can offer. Maybe there is a group you could join but unfortunately you are going to have to push yourself however anxious you feel. In order to get help you need to help yourself. Best of Luck.
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  • Posted

    I am sorry to hear your so young and having so much trouble . I have found that counseling helped me get to the root of my problems and has helped me find my self and what I wanted in life . I am not sure if your a religious person or not but I also turned to God to direct me . These things seem so far out of reach and how can talking to a councelour and God help ? I don't know but they do . We sometimes get lost in life and go down roads that lead know where and need help . We all have a purpose , we are all created for a reason . You just need to believe that and instead of researching careers sit and think about what makes you happy ? Pray about guidance and try to imagine what you would love to do. It takes time but it can be done . You feel lost but your on a journey believe that and you will find your destiny without anxiety and with happiness . Good luck
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  • Posted

    Hi there,

    In reading through your life history, which is a real good start - you hit on some real key words.

    Perfectionism.  This is obviously a belief that has been instilled in to you - whether by a parent or somebody else and seems to play a real important role in this.  Criticism also might be part of it too.

    Unfortunately we live in a world that portrays being perfect - but we can't obtain this none of it. 

    This seems to be fuelling your anxiety - as anxiety is a learnt response and is covering up the feeling of fear.  So I would same here is the feeling of failure and not wanting to seem perfect.

    I hope this really helps and I would go and see a really good counsellor that comes recommended that can work through this with you - so you can get to the root cause and move forward in your life, but until you do this you will just keep going round and round in circles as you have described, as hanging out with your mates is your coping behaviour and what you go back to.

    I hope this helps but I would also recommend seeing your GP to get some help with the anxiety whilst working through this.

    Best of luck

    Mel. X

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  • Posted

    Hello edward,I quote the posting of askstout,

    "quote I am sorry to hear your so young and having so much trouble . I have found that counseling helped me get to the root of my problems and has helped me find my self and what I wanted in life . I am not sure if your a religious person or not but I also turned to God to direct me . These things seem so far out of reach and how can talking to a councelour and God help ? I don't know but they do . We sometimes get lost in life and go down roads that lead know where and need help . We all have a purpose , we are all created for a reason . You just need to believe that and instead of researching careers sit and think about what makes you happy ? Pray about guidance and try to imagine what you would love to do. It takes time but it can be done . You feel lost but your on a journey believe that and you will find your destiny without anxiety and with happiness . Good luck

    "I too happen to believe you need to turn and ask our sweet Lord Jesus what it is he wants of you. To have Jesus in our lives we first need to invite him in .he will not come into our lives un invited .So Edward I would say to you please invite our sweet Lord Jesus into your life,ask him to guide you to those who will be of help to you and will offer you the guidance you are in need of at this time .

    I am not preaching to you Edward ,please don`t think I am ,I have never done that ,and will not do so now at this time in my life,

    I just feel you could find it more beneficial than hanging around ,in the manner you mention you are doing ,I have to ask ,putting hand on your heart do you feel you would NOT benefit from trying out my suggestion ,than you get from your living existance of the moment .

    Take Care

    millyimp1322

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  • Posted

    Hi Edward, I'm 25 years old and like you, daily I face these horrible situations due to Anxiety. I admire you for thinking about working-over Xmas I became housebound and couldn't leave my house! Or even drive my car. Good for you! smile

    I've recently started an antidepressant called Citalopram-which apparently is great for Anxiety.im also due to start CBT (Cognitive Behavioral therapy)which I've been told really helps alot of people! Perhaps having a chat with your Dr might help you feel more positive. There's plenty of help out there lovely.

    I'm starting to feel better already! I'm into week 3 of taking medication.

    Message me anytime you need a chat. Chin up because you will get better smile

    Take care xxxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi there,

    Firstly - there is no such thing as "normal", so stop thinking that you are abnormal. You have an issue with anxiety - but I think you would probably find if most people were honest about what they were anxious about - you are more "normal" than you think!!! biggrin

    I am not making light by my next comment, I promise; but everyone (or shall we say 99.9% of the population) get anxious over something or other. Unfortunately you are experiencing some more than most. 

    You may find that professional counselling can help you overcome this issue, as  it may be that all your anxieties are spurred on by an underlying, subconscious worry. It certainly sounds like you may have self-esteem issues that are preventing you to move forward. 

    Have you tried turning the argument around at all? Try asking yourself "what if I don't so any of these things that I want to do with my life? What will happen to me, or what will I be like then?"

    Also, have you tried doing yourself some pro's and con's lists for the things that you are worried about. Compare all the good things that could happen, with the bad ones that happen. 

    Also, have you tried investigating further some answers for these worries. For instance if you are worries that you may injure someone in the new career path that you are interested in, have you thought to try and speak to people within this area of work? Have you asked them what support they receive in their work? What training? What guidelines are in place to protect you as a therapist etc? 

    These are just some ideas. I hope they may be of some help.

     

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