I don't know what is wrong with me, Anxiety or just my relationship falling apart?

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I have no idea what is happening to me. Back in October I started feeling different towards my boyfriend who I have been with for over 4 years now. I figured it was just normal relationship stuff that happens when you've been with someone for so long. For the most part everything was going fine until about a month ago. I started feeling really weird like I didn't know my boyfriend, almost as if we were just friends. I know everything about him yet I felt like I didn't know him at all. Then I started feeling like I didn't know myself. I'd look in the mirror and not recognize who I was. I started to feel that way towards my family too. Almost like I knew where I was and who I was with but I didn't feel like I was actually there. I talk to my boyfriend and can physically see him and kiss him but it just feels strange. I know how I'm suppose to feel and I want to feel that way again but I just cant feel anything. I am the most bubbly happiest girl anyone will meet. I still get happy and show emotion but it feels different than how I used to feel. I was so incredibly in love with my boyfriend and never had any questions about us until this all started happening. I know that I want to be with him but when I say I love you and call him babe it just doesn't feel normal. I don't know if this is just anxiety and depression or if my boyfriend and I aren't meant to be together. Can anyone help me? I'm so confused.

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    It is more than likely a form of anxiety called depersonalisation.It is a creepy weird feeling,and it can come in waves,stay busy doing stuff,it will subside.
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  • Posted

    probably someting that triggered the way ur feeling ,u said it started happening in october maybe there was something bothering you r someting that happened around this time...
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  • Posted

    Han07, i'm going through the same thing. About 2 weeks ago i was at work, totally happy and in love then BAM- a doubt about my feelings (for my boyf) went into my head and i couldn't stop thinking about it. I very suddenly felt sick and depersonalised (out of body/thirdperson/spacey). Since then i've felt really weird. Last week I was crying and depressed about the strange way i suddenly felt. I was still able to get some comfort from my boyfriend but now, i've gone all numb and everything feels weird. It feels like my boyfriend is a stranger but i know that I still love him, i just can't emotionally connect with him. I still want to see him all the time and kiss him and be near him but it just feels so strange. It feels like i'm looking at someone i don't know even though i know everything about him. 

    I'm going to my gp tomorrow because i've been feeling really down and anxious (i have GAD anyway) so i'm hoping that it might help me start getting back on track. I think the way i'm feeling now is in reaction to the anxiety of last week, i couldn't stop obsessing about the 'doubt' that I had and now when i'm with him for the most part it feels all weird and wrong. It really scares me and i'm constantly in tears about it- but the thing to remember is that, you wouldn't be in tears if you didn't love him, if that makes sense. The fact that you here, worrying, and you've been freaked out about it means that you DO still have love for him, you just can't feel it right now. 

    I've sort of realised that my friends look a little unfamiliar to me too, but my mind is so centreted around the way i feel about my boyfriend that its hard for me to tell. 

    I don't really have much advice for you i'm afraid, i just thought i'd let you know i know what you're going through and i'm trying to get through it too.

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for replying. Although I would hate for anyone to go through this I am glad I am not alone. I've stopped freaking out about it because I have told myself that it is not the way I truly feel and I will get my normal feelings back eventually. I just wish I knew when! I hope you start to feel better soon too!
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  • Posted

    Hi there,

    I was wondering how you were going. 

    I am currently experiencing the exact same thing and seeing a psychologist however I would like to hear from you as I couldn't have put this feeling in to words better myself. 

    Please let me know if this was just anxiety or if it was true feelings.

    Thank you so much,

    SIena

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  • Posted

    Wow, reading your post was like reading my own thoughts. I've been dealing with these same feelings for about 3 months now. It almost seems like it's deteriorating my relationship, and I can't understand why I feel like everyone is a stranger to me when I know that I know and love them. Have you gotten any better?

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