I Don't Know What To Do (Depression/Anxieties)

I feel so sad that when i see younger people on here that suffer and im sure because of your age some would say "its your age", "your homornes" ect Im even young people can suffer. sorry that you arnt being taken seriously maybe your family dont understand on how to help. i see you are in america or somewhere like that has you are having to pay for treatments we are so lucky in england we have free healthcare at the moment! is there a teacher who you can confide in sometimes by confiding in them they have to take action. I ont know your family situation my lovely but if you can try again with your mom/dad /siblings they may look at it differently for you. sometimes by just talking this can help immensely life is very precious my love please talk with your family again I hope you can get the support you need 

I hope the therapy helps you. you may have clinical depression.

So sorry to hear of your plight. There are millions of us who suffer badly from the same kind of feelings that you have AT THE MOMENT. It does seem like you need help from the medical people and they can give you something to relieve your symptoms. Is there a local group near you with similar thoughts who meet and support each other. Thinking of you. Take cae

AINSLEY! Stop looking for help because you've just found it. Us. We on this forum care about one another, support one another, and keep in touch with one another.

I have four children. My youngest, Jerry, went through exactly the same things you're going through.

My heart is breaking for you - this is one of the saddest posts I've ever seen on this site.

As you're in the US, don't your parents have health insurance that would pay for your therapy? I confess I don't know how the system works in the US, but if you went to your doctor and asked for a referral, would that be covered by the health insurance? Please clarify that because you'd be surprised how many high schoolers come to this website who live in the US.

If you're crying constantly, PLEASE go to your doctor. You are suffering major depression and extremely low self esteem. The doc can prescribe medication to help you (and a therapy referral)

Don't fear that if you go to a therapist you'll just cry. They're used to it and in fact expect it with depressed patients.

I have no idea where you got such low self esteem - can you think of anything in particular that triggered it, or was it a gradual process?

YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS!!!!!! You are a young man with a major depressive illness, which needs treatment.

As to 'will it get worse'? - probably, if you don't see your doctor very soon.

Is there a school counselllor who you can confide in? It doesn't sound to me that your family are taking this seriously. In fact, they're making it worse.

You did the right thing to come to this forum. That's the first step. Now, please go and see your doctor - that is ESSENTIAL.

Too many young men and women harm themselves because they are too scared to get help. Some even commit suicide.

This is a disgrace in a country where there are plenty of doctors and therapists who can, and will, help you.

I have tears pouring down my cheeks right now. If you want to PM me, please go ahead. By the way, my son is doing fine now. Much love from Tess

 

So while I have not experienced what you are experiencing with your family or friends, I know what that feels like with my relationships. It really sucks to hear that you don't have any support system because that's what makes it easier to deal with it.

​It can get worse especially if others continue to treat you the way they do and if no one is able to help you. Have you tried sitting your family down with no distractions and bring up this issue? Therapy really helps but as you said, it's not free. It sound like depression and anxiety, I can't tell you if it's a certain disorder though. I'm not trying to scare you or anything, just being real with you. I still have problems with my own anxiety but I just try my best to make it through those episodes and it's somewhat easier (though still hard) every time. The biggest thing you can do is to accept it is a part of you, whether temporary or permanent.

​Is there may a teacher or a school counselor you can talk to? It seems like you are holding everything in and that's dangerous because at some point, it will come out and I'd rather you release all that tension in an office of someone who is trained to help people like you. Crying is completely fine and this is nothing to be ashamed of.

I've never met anyone who offered to help me. This is so heartwarming for me, I've never seen this many people concerned so much about me.

THANK YOU ALL SO, SO MUCH! 

Hopefully some of these will answer your questions...

Q. Can you talk to anyone who aren't related to you (conselors/teacher/etc.)? 

I have talked to my English teacher about some of my anxieties. I started bursting into tears in the middle of the discussion. Since I was crying so much, I couldn't form sentences. So she gave me a piece of paper so I could write down how I felt, and left the room for a few minutes so I could calm down and concentrate. Once I was done, I gave the sheet to her, she read it, said she would help me no matter what, then never talked to me about it again, just like what my grandma did. I feel like I will be betrayed by other people, so I keep getting more paranoid and depressed, like I will never get help. I never bothered to talk to a counselor since my sister said that they don't care and don't listen everytime she encountered one. I know there are people who will TRY to help you, and people who are QUALIFIED to help you, yet I can't fight the urge to refuse to those try to help me now.

Someone mentioned if my father could help... I honestly don't even know where my father is. He said, like, six sentences to me before being gone forever. I don't know where my father resides, so I doubt he could help me.

Q. Have you tried a hotline/local group/ect.?

This website will probably be the closest I'll ever get to anything like those. I did definately consider a hotline before, but thought that I'll never get through half of an entire phone call without sobbing. A local group is worst, I hate the feeling of people watching me, judging me. 

Q. Do you have health insurance to pay for therapy?

I live in Canada, where our healthcare is free... but not for counselling nor therapy. The region I live in has to pay by session, which the prices range pretty high. I'm unemployed, I only ask my mother for lunch money, yet I still don't get enough for therapy by doing little jobs around town. I don't even know where to go to for therapy... I live in a small town, so I might have to drive out of town to get therapy, which is a problem as well because I don't have a car, nor liscense. Plus, I don't know how insurence works either...

Q. Can you ask a doctor for medication?

I'm honestly scared of medication for psychological issues, I know it sounds dumb. I'd be fine with anti-depressants, but for anxiety, I don't like changing the way my brain thinks. I'm so used to being a paranoid, misfit that has to repeat an answer in her head a thousand times before saying something. I'm scared they'll change they way I react and deal with things. Like I said before, I know  absolutely nothing about this. Plus, I've heard so many people say that the medication that their prescribed only made their symptoms worst, and I'm terrified that'll happen to me. I don't want to be more unnecessarily miserable than I already am.

Some people mentioned that I may harm myself if I keep this up. Yet, I don't want to do physical harm myself.I have goals and dreams that I want to live an actual life and become the person that I want to be, so I'm unhappy that I'll most likely never acheive them. And I know atleast someone will mourn over me, and I don't want to become a burden to someone and have them greiving, as I think that I'm not worth it.

I want to  thank everyone again for replying and supporting me. I'll try to keep strong. I've bursted into tears already by writing this, knowing that people cared. 

I really needed some kind of pick-me-up this month. I can't thank you enough.

Thank you all so, so much!!!