I don't know what to do with my marriage

Posted , 9 users are following.

I'm married to a person who doesn't know how to deal with my depression and anxiety. We're in a bad place in our marriage right now and we've only been married for about 4 and a half months now.

I cry all the time. For hours and for days. And I cant stop crying. He doesn't know how to handle that so he just ignores me even when I'm crying or when I'm upset.

Just to be clear he's a nice guy, one of those genuine, amicable kind of person. Atleast I think he is.

But it just hurts when he ignores me. Now Ive been suffering from depression for years now and I know nobody can make this better and nobody can completely help me get through it and I have to it on my own. But is still hurts when he doesnt care. He just continues doing his thing even when he knows im crying.

I don't know how to make this better.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    dear shhhhh, firstly you should NEVER have to ask for a hug, i will send you a virtual one on here just to cheer you up! secondly if at 4 and a half months this man doesn't know what to to do when you're so sad then what start is that? i have PTSD, i am married to someone with anxiety and depression and i pull teeth somedays to get any information from my husband re why he feels so bad. how he puts up with me i have no idea. i am having counselling for the PTSD but it's exceptionally tough and when it is if i ask for a hugi get it, some days i don't have to -he just senses i am sad and gives me a hug. why don't you come out and ask him why he can't you a hug? did he always know you were depressed? lack of communication is the quickest way to deaden a marriage/relationship, you MUST talk and if not him someone else. please overall look after yourself, he may be frightened of making you more sad! good luck - iron this out and your marriage may be set in stone, in a positive way!

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  • Posted

    I've not had the kind of experience you're having being ignored when you most need attention and the kinds of feelings you have as a result.

    But I want to say that perhaps expecting anything different is putting too much expectation on the relationship.

    Do you want to stay in it and see what happens or do you want to call it a mistake and take steps to dissolve the union?

    If you feel that you are not stable enough to be in a relationship, then you could take the latter course.

    If you feel that the situation is over 50% okay and acceptable then you could wait it out and stay where you are without making changes.

    But either way I would suggest you not expect your husband to suddenly change his ways.

    Marriages always probably go through an adjustment period at the beginning and maybe you could look at it this way - like an adjustment period.

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  • Posted

    I think you should talk to your husband, you should tell him how you feel. does he know you have depression? if not, I guess you should tell him so he will know how to handle things next time. It's better if you could bring him to your counseling sessions if you are having one.

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  • Posted

    I have tried and still am trying everything you guys have mentioned. He walked in on me while i was cutting myself and now he wants to leave me because if i hurt myself and end up at the hospital, the cops are gonna look at him first and throw him to jail. i dont know what to do.

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