I don't know what to say.

Posted , 9 users are following.

Im just frustrated and can't talk about peri with anyone as they don't get it and Im positive they don't want to hear it.

Im 46 and believe looking back I started Peri at 40. That's when I started having anxiety attacks, on and off depression, brain fog/scatter all over the place thoughts, nights with no sleep and so on...

I've seen my doctor a few times, blood work says Im in perfect heath.

Ive excercised, stopped drinking coffee and quit smoking 2 years ago, ate health, suppliments. Ive tried 2 types of antidepressants, one only worked for awhile, the second one was prozac and it made me worse. My Doctor just precribed me a 3Rd one but Im not going to try it as now Im afraid of ehat it will do. I went on sick leave from a long term job last year and when sick leave ran out I quit, Im single so I need to work, I have a new job starting next week but I question if I can actually do it, but will make myself push through as I don't want to loose my house.

I've really tried, I know it's hormones and I try to practice gratefulNess and positive words....but inside I feel so negative and those thoughts really get to me, I feel like Im a horrible mean person...although I rarely let those words out, if something really upsets me I have exploded a couple of times.

Im sorry I hate complaining as Im aware there is way worse things in the world and I feel very guilty to feel so negative.....I just really miss the happy side of me which only comes out rarely now.

My heart goes out to all of you woman when I read your posts, it's like we are stuck inside of ourselves and are screaming to get out.

3 likes, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • Posted

    I'm so glad I have found this site. You sound like me. I am 47. I had my last child when I was 40 and my hormones went into meltdown soon after. I blamed it on having a baby, but now 7 yrs later I am starting to accept that I am in the Perimenopause. I too have no one to talk to. The few friends I have are much younger than me and my partner is not at all understanding of my situation. He tells me I'm moody, irritable and no fun to be around,but doesnt listen when I try to explain why I am these things. The last few weeks I have been so down. I feel invisible to those around me. As a mum I feel like a failure. The slightest thing makes me tearful. I have days where I just want to run away. My sister had great support from her husband when she went through the menopause, but I have no support at all from anyone which makes it so much harder. The last week or so on top of night sweats I have had trouble sleeping. I go to bed and just lie there. Then when I do eventually fall asleep I wake up having a sweat. I have lots to feel happy about, so why cant I lift myself out of this dark hole I seem to have fallen into? Wouldnt it be easier if we could hibernate and come back out when we are our old selves again....although I fear I will never be that person again!!

    • Posted

      The other day I was so frustrated I told my friend that I get why they used to put woman in institutions while going through this and right now that actually sounds very relaxing, it was a joke, but in a way I wasn't joking.

      I also get night sweats, and have trouble sleeping a lot of nights. I could handle that if that was all it was. It's the mood swings, feeling negative and cranky and trying to keep peace by hiding that I feel that way. The brain fog scares me and I feel stupid. Right now I'm not in the cry over everything stage, but I have been there and in some ways wish I could cry rather than be in this cranky stage. I'm scared I'm going to end up being one of those cranky old ladies.

      I do have a couple of good friends but because I know I come across negative I want want go out much.....I want to hide in my room until this is all over.

      My sons are w/o and 22 and I've explained this all to them a hundred times. Even though luckily they are older now I still feel like a failure as a mother, I hide in my room a lot, I've got snappy with them and have no brain function to help my youngest with his college applications. Some days they talk to me but can tell I'm off in space and then start joking amoung themselves that I'm gone again.

      Finding this site was the only thing that made me realize this is "normal" but you cannot tell people outside this site.

      We have to believe it will stop and hopefully soon smile

    • Posted

      I feel the same. I also have sons, nearly 21 and nearly 25 and feel like I'm letting them down because I'm not really there for them anymore. I hide a lot too. I'm 50 in June.

    • Posted

      Oh I totally get the 'trying to keep the peace by hiding how I feel' !!

      I have 4 kids. My eldest is 22 and has Aspergers which brings its own problems. I have another son of 18 and 2 daughters, one of 7 and a very hormonal 14 yr old. We often argue as our hormones battle each other over whose having the biggest mood swing!!

  • Posted

    Hi Samantha, i went through the menopause from 38 - 45 all done now , im 48 and ok, it does get better  .. I took a natural herb called Isoflavones  it helped stop flushes and kept me calm .... An older friend at work mentioned them , so I tried them , and wow ,,,, i calmed and felt me again  ... just an idea .... you will change to positives soon , life is  a challenge .... big smiles for you xx 
    • Posted

      Hi Rachel,

      How fab that you are through it now.  You give me hope saying it does get better although the way I feel right now I’m not sure I will ? Could I ask what symptoms you had and if they have gone ? Hoping for a miralce to occur sometime really soon 🙏🏼😘 Deb xx

    • Posted

      Thank you Rachel,

      I Wil certainly look into Isoflavons.

      And it's good to know it does get better.

    • Posted

      Hi Debbie , yes it does get better , i am myself again now ... it was a journey of hot flushes , not much patience ..heavy periods ,  I have been checked and its all over ,  the calm now is fantastic  ...you will get there... a positive thought for you x
    • Posted

      Thank you Rachel ! It must be bliss 🙏🏼 Not sure if you had anxiety but I do and that’s the thing I most want to go . . . Hugs to you xxx

    • Posted

      aww hugs to you too xx yes i think i did but didn't realize until I  looked back on it all xx good night xx 

  • Posted

    hi. they will work ,they are a natural herb ...sending you a big smile and a positive thought xxx 
  • Posted

    just read your other message , i had hot flushes , not much patience and heavy periods ..

    our family have gone through it early , i have been lucky , i did too 

    Dr prescribed Northisterone for heavy  periods 

    My friend said isoflavones for hot flushes 

    both worked and  I took them for a few years, i felt safe and calm xx 

    it does get better x 

     

  • Posted

    My heart goes out to you Samantha.  Bless you.  Believe me, I know how tough this is.  I am anxiety ridden as well, and I used to be one of the happiest people I know.  I try to joke about it, but there are those days when it sure doesn't seem funny.  I just keep reminding myself that in the end, this will make me stronger and to just hold tight. 

    Forgive me for offering advice that may be unwarranted, but if your GP would like you to try another anti-depressant, perhaps you should at least consider it.  I believe that some work, when others do not.  When my husband came back from Iraq, it took them a few different medications to find the one that worked for him.  They did finally find the right one and he is a new person for the past couple of years.  From where I am feeling, anything has got to be better than this.  I swore that I would not go on HRT, but I am now highly considering it.  Those are just my two-cents.

    Please keep in mind, that these women here definitely seem to know what they are talking about, so take their advice over minebiggrin

  • Posted

    Hi Samantha, I can’t write much right now as I am at a function with my son, but I am in the exact same situation as you and it’s just awful. I’m 47 and a lot of the stuff just hit me out of the blue about a year ago. It’s made me feel so awful physically, emotionally, mentally… I just can’t believe this is her mom but I suppose it’s to hi Samantha, I can’t write much right now as I am at a function with my son, but I am in the exact same situation as you and it’s just awful. I’m 47 and a lot of the stuff just hit me out of the blue about a year ago. It’s made me feel so awful physically, emotionally, mentally… I just can’t believe this is her mom but I suppose it’s true... so glad I found this forum, It’s finally help me think I’m not going insane or dying at least not today LOL he care and stay in touch
    • Posted

      Thank you Amy and everyone else that replied, I had a rough week last week, today is better I forced myself to go out for awhile and it helped.

      Sometimes I have really good days, I noticed the week before my period and when Im ovulating that's when I turn into a complete weirdo, the rest of the time Im just a half weirdo smile

      It's very nice though to know other woman feel the same, it's good sometimes to vent on here, if I try to tell anyone else they just look at me like I have 2 heads smile

    • Posted

      Sorry it repeated and made very little sense in some spots!! Ugh!! Have a good day, I’ll be back on later! 😊

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