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I've had depression for a year now and to be honest, I'm not sure if I can do anything anymore. In my second semester in university, I slowly became quiet and think about how everybody's life would be better without me. The smallest things became overwhelming to me and one day I just couldn't do it anymore. So I tried to commit suicide, but it didn't work. I was admitted to the hospital so the school found out and recommended I take a gap year. So I did. I went to a psychiatrist and been taking antidepressants since then. But now my year is up and I was supposed to register for this fall semester, but I couldn't pull myself to go back. So I just didn't. I don't do anything now I stay in my room all day. I feel like I'm just screwing my life more and more so I can push myself to die again.. I can't stop crying since I've decided not to go back because a small part of me keeps telling me I could have made things better if I returned to school. Now even my parents are exhausted and whenever I cry they tell me to suck it up. I've lost all my friends too. I'm 20 and I can't see any reason why I should keep living. I feel like I'm just a waste of space and people's time. I can't stop thinking about how I will be doing a favor if I died because the truth is I don't think I can ever be around people anymore.
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