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I don't want to live anymore

Posted , 7 users are following.

nicola03559
nicola03559

Hi can anybody help me I feel so low and sad that I don't want to be here anymore can you tell me if this is the drug isn't working or is it just me I've lost my mum and my dad and my nephew in the last four years and the doc says that it's not the tablets it's just that I'm grieving but im not so sure anymore 

please help Nicky

3 likes, 20 replies

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  • richard28711
    richard28711 nicola03559

    Posted

    Nicola please stick with it girl. I know grief is really pain please stay with it richard
  • richard28711
    richard28711 nicola03559

    Posted

    It does work Nicole. I been on it a over a year and has change my whole feeling that I don't sink to the basement of despair .anymore
  • nicola03559
    nicola03559

    Posted

    How do you explain it to the people around you when they just think your being really miserable all the time and how long does this pain take before it subsides
    • pablopicasso
      pablopicasso nicola03559

      Posted

      Grief can take several years to subside, acute grief can stay with you much longer. Being in pain isn't the same as being miserable, but can seem that way to others. Grief makes you look back and never forward so I guess you lose hope in that sense. You need things to look forward to even if they may seem trivial. Keeping a diary helps so you can see positive things you've done recently however small (getting up, going for a walk, listening to the radio). The pain will lessen but you just can't force it, be aware of it, but try not to fight it. It will get easier.
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate nicola03559

      Posted

      sod what others think. your hurt and bereaving you need to be selfish and look after you. You need some one to counsel you thru this trauma not people calling you miserable. People are so quick to judge. Pablo makes some great ideas about diarying everything too so you can remember the good times
    • nicola03559
      nicola03559 pablopicasso

      Posted

      Thanks at least I think I know I'm not going crazy I miss my family so much everyday my sister and my brother have just got on with their lives like as if nothing has happened but they never put their life on hold for four years like I did when my father died after six days with pancreatic cancer and then my found out she had ovary cancer and I between putting my mother through all the treatment I lost my nephew who was 21 who just dropped dead in the street and this was my sisters son who died 23 years ago in her sleep that I never really got over . They say God only gives you as much as you can take but losing my mum a year after losing my nephew was just to much and I ended up having a nervous breakdown and I'm still struggling now x
  • Poppycat
    Poppycat nicola03559

    Posted

    Nicky, there are no magic pills to take away the pain or grief of depression.  I really wish there was.  In my experience, I feel the same feelings on mirtazapine, but feel more rational in my thoughts.  I still feel pain, emotions of every kind. It is just more manageable.  I hope this helps.  I wish my pain would go away but it never will. We just have to try our best to think things through.  We are pressured to be perfect and cope with things but we have to just be ourselves and accept that things are tough.  Life is not perfect and never will be for anybody. x
  • kam10440
    kam10440 nicola03559

    Posted

    Hi Nicola,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss, you are going through so much, please ask god to come into your life and lift you up.  I dont know if you are a christian or not, but i know when i lost my mum i went through depression and its painful process. Please ask Jesus to come into your life and do a Sinners Prayer for salvation and Jesus will help you and you will feel better, please have hope, your god loves you and he will be your father. God bless you.

  • debbie58553
    debbie58553 nicola03559

    Posted

    Hi Nicola

    you must be really struggling as I'm sure most would if it had happened to them. The tablets should help,how long have you been on them? They took about 3 weeks to work for me. Do you see a councillor to talk with, if not I would advise you do. Grieving us a slow hard road, hope you get through this,try to get through. 

    • nicola03559
      nicola03559 debbie58553

      Posted

      Thanks Debbie this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do aswell as dealing with depression and anxiety I also have all this grief to cope with I'm seeing a private counsellor every week at the moment and she's brilliant I've been on 45mg mirtzapine now for about two months after they were upped from 30 mg but I just wish my heart would stop breaking x
  • sara80596
    sara80596 nicola03559

    Posted

    Hello, from what you've written regarding the recently passing of close family, you could well b grieving which is natural. Perhaps your dose might need increasing, perhaps. Have you asked for counseling?
    • nicola03559
      nicola03559 sara80596

      Posted

      Hi Sara yes I have counselling every week and according to the doc I'm on the highest dose on the tablets so she just says that im grieving and the tablet will only work so much x
    • sara80596
      sara80596 nicola03559

      Posted

      I'm on 45 mg too and its working so far, just scared the body will get used to hit and I will hit the brick wall again. Glad you've got counselling, talking will help. Hold on in there xx
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate sara80596

      Posted

      Im just putting this out here , but 45mg Mirtazapine made me more depressed and suicidal. I am not suggesting this is happening to you but its defiently worth keep your symptoms logged with doctor. I know another person Dondon 3 is also have some challenges with it too.

      Its always worth giving it a chance but not to the dtriment of your well being.

       

    • nicola03559
      nicola03559 UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      Thanks Jimmy I though about dropping my tablets to 30 mg cause they may be masking the grieving process I will defo ask the doctor this week 
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