I dont care for much, and i feel as if i am getting more depressed
Posted , 3 users are following.
I dont really know where to start but s**t basically sucks, i feel almost emotionless so i dont kbow if that is nessisarily depression or what. I used to be an out going kid although i got messed with alot in school. I played and competed with bagpipes i had some good friends i played sports all year round bit for the past 4 years since half way through grade 9 until now after i gradutaed ive felt very odd, almost careless, iritable, anxious, sad, etc but in an emotionless way and sometimes on a normal way. I started with my ups and downs but the past 2 1/2 years its been almost neutral or downs. Ive had 3 jobs since i was 15 and im 17 now but i just cant work. My dad bugs me to work but i see how misserable he is from his job and i dont want to have a s****y job wanting to kill my self for 50 years just so i can retire for 20, theres no point in that. Ive done thibga to try to make me feel better such as play music again, go vegan, tried marijuana not my thing, tried hanging out with friends more often but it all seems pointless. Ive seen a psychiatress 2 years ago and he asked me if i thought about death or ending my life and i said yes to bothe those things and he wanted to give me pills as if that would help me. I dont get the point of pills especially if they come with more symptoms and only supress the issue until u need to take them again. I dont know if it seems like im just rambolibg on or what. Im confused, hate the idea of my life, cant find the joy in things i used to love such as sports music girls and nature.hate the idea of the way we live as in were borb to goto school to work hard enough to get a "good job" so that u can cobtribute to a not so free, free society even if u dont agree and then die and the way i look at it theres nothing else to it. Im confused and need some advise... im 17 and im in the makeings of becoming a stubborn depressed alcoholic and no matter how much i hide my real self with this person my parents and friends want me to be, i dont see a future for me when or even a bit before im on my own
4 likes, 1 reply
martha38300 travis78502
Posted
Man, I am so sorry you’ve been feeling like this for so long. I tend to think your hormones might be wreaking havoc with you. You might try reading about that and what goes on for guys your age in terms of the effects of surging testosterone. What I’m saying is that some of what you’ve been feeling(or not feeling) may be perfectly normal.
its hard watching parents be miserable at miserable jobs that they hate miserably. Jobs don’t have to be like that. There are some cool jobs out there. I’ve been doing manual labor in the commercial fishing industry for the last thirteen years and I love it! I wish I had known I could do it when I was your age! I get to be physically active, make a difference, and get paid too. There are cool skilled,trades too that require short schooling (which you could get scholarships for) but pay big in the end. You could run supply boats to oil rigs, be a wind turbine repairman, an underwater welder, a bagpipe maker.
The point is, it’s not all a stupid circle. There is joy...really joy out there waiting for you in every area of your life. Get away from your tech, go outside, throw some rocks. And whatever you do, don’t give up before you see how awesome it’s all going to be for you! It’s going to blow your mind!