I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO,

Hey Shannon....I am sorry you had to go through such a hard time....but Shannon you love your grandpa....so how bout whenever u get thoughts like killing yourself think how your grandpa will feel if he was there....how everyone you ever cared about and  those who cared about you feel....there so many people who love you and care about you....try not to keep your feelings in your heart....let it out....if you don't in will just grow bigger and biggger it literally somehow feels like someone is killing you on the inside....don't let that happen....you are able to go through this...you strong and you are never alone....no matter what God I always there to help

Hi Shannon.

I think the fact that you are waking up feeling the way you do and the thoughts you are having is a sure sign that you have depression Hun.

The good news is that it's highly treatable and you can recover. 

Firstly you need to speak to your GP and explain how you have been feeling and how it's gotten much worse since your grandad passed away. 

Between you and your doctor you will then be able to duscuss the best way forward for you. He may ask if you want to try medication which helps so many people but if you don't want to go down the medication route,your doctor may refer you to a counsellor which people also find very beneficial.

Depression very rarely lasts forever Hun and there are brighter times ahead for you, you will enjoy life again, you owe it to yourself to give yourself the best chance in life so get out there and grab that chance to feel better,to love life again.

You don't have to keep suffering and you dint have to face this alone. There is help out there. You just have to be brave enough to make that first move and ask for it xxx

Dear shannon,

which medicines u r taking right now?

I would not go to you GP, they generally know nothing, you have to try and go to a psychiatrist, they have much more knowledge of all the drugs and he will know what to do with you. You owe it to yourself, do it before it's too late. Before you lose your job and your boyfriend. 

Hello Shannon...I have been where you are....lost my mom, my only child moved 2000 miles away, my sweet equine companion who was with me for 30 years was struck by lightning and killed, I'm going to have to leave my job because of toxic mold poisoning in my lungs, which can be fatal, I have no health insurance but there's no cure through the medical profession anyway and it has ruined the quality of my life....and I felt very alone, scared, and depressed in all of this....BUT...suicide is NEVER a good solution, NEVER. When you end your life, you end any possibilities for changes to happen...because they can and they do happen. The night of my deepest despair I no longer wanted to live...but several hours later something unexpected happened that changed EVERYTHING. Had I ended my life, however, my life never would have changed for the better. Take one step to make a change...maybe it is time to change your job and start looking for something different, perhaps looking in a different place far away from where you are now, to get away from things that can make you feel sad. I don't know where you live, but there are free counseling services, esp. for women, and free grief counseling support for those who have lost loved ones...these are people that want to help others and could help you find some new direction and suggest helpful options that you may never think of on your own. Keep seeking help, ideas, answers. It will come. Don't give up. It can take a long time, or might happen fairly quickly...just keep seeking, and you'll find a better place and a better life for you. Don't be afraid to make big changes if that's what it takes. Stay away from negative, pessimistic people. Be sure to surround yourself with positive, helpful people that will keep you going & give you support and encouragement.