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I am a 30 year old female. I work a remedial job. I live in a one bedroom apartment where I have lived with my boyfriend for nine years. My boyfriend and I have been together ten years and we have no kids.
I have never really been a positive or happy person. I want to be positive and to be happy but lately it seems as though that's not in the cards for me. I feel so worthless in every aspect of my life, like I could disappear tomorrow and no one would care. I find this feeling ironic considering I also feel like everyone wants something or expects something from me without any concern for how I feel. Then there's how I make myself feel. Because you see I have this vision of whom I'd like to be, someone less worthless but I can't see that vision ever becoming a reality. So, I'm stuck, I'm stuck feeling worthless, stuck feeling like a waste of a human being, stuck being a prisoner of my mind and what others expect from me.
How do I change this? How do I find motivation when I have none? How do I release myself from my internal cell and the one that others have created for me? How does one stop feeling worthless when it's all they've known for 30 years? How do I do all this before it's to late?
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