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I've never done anything like this. I feel nervous and a little silly. But I have no one else to talk to.
Erm.. I don't know where to start really.
I'm 25. My partner has just left me because he believed I was speaking to other males online and deleting it. I absolutely was not. He was everything and more. I didn't want or need attention from elsewhere.
This happened Sunday. I don't exactly have the best history with relationships and I've never been on my own. I was in a serious RTA in 2011, I met my first partner that year and stayed together for 3 years. He cheated several times. I then met a partner for 5 years. Again I was cheated on lied to physically and mentally abused he became more in love with drugs than me. So I left him after seeing him with another woman. I met up with an old flame. My god did he change the way I felt. We were like school children!! It was so perfect. I fell in love so quickly and I loved it!! The nerves the butterflies the giggles. It was just everything. I have suffered with depression and anxiety since my rta. My new partner knew nothing of this. He said never understood mental health so I never mentioned it. Things got a bit rocky. I don't know how or why. He finished it a few times but I always fought to bring us back together. This time is so different. I feel so silly. He doesn't want to know me. And I can't prove I didn't do it. I've text every hour trying to change his mind and believe me. He ignores most msgs responds to one or two. He also still dropped to work. I haven't slept properly for 5 days. Probably lucky to have around 3 hours a night? I haven't eaten a meal since last Sunday. The last time I ate was yesterday morning. Half a cheese toastie. I have no appetite. It's constantly on my mind. This isn't just a normal break up. I literally feel pain in my heart and stomach and just cry non stop. I don't know how to deal with this and all I'm thinking is I jus want it to end. I don't want to be here any more and deal with this pain. I know I sound stupid people will just say get over it. But I have nowhere else to turn to and I don't know what to do 😔😥😥😣
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