I feel like I am Ruining my marriage and losing control of my thoughts, not sure how to fix myself?

Posted , 4 users are following.

My step daughter is getting married I am completely excluded and my husband feels I'm being selfish. How do I change my feelings of constant sadness like break down in tears sadness?

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    you cannot change your feelings just let them well up and out so that you can get over this.
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  • Posted

    Hi,well i dont know drtails,but if that happened here i would feel the same way.
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  • Posted

    This is so vague. how long have you been in her life? Is this even anxiety? Im all confused
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  • Posted

    it sounds like you have depression my love but as you havent explained a lot its hard to help at this moment if you want to share them maybe we can be of some support only when your ready though


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  • Posted

    Hi Nikkster - like our fellow posters here i am wondering what the background is re: feeelings of sadness and tears.  Is this a permanent feeling, a recurring condition, or something ignited by the imminent marriage?

    We're here to help. You can share anything.

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  • Posted

    My husband and I have been married 5 yrs, he has 4 kids and I have 2

    We have none together. I have been married 4 times and he has been

    Married 3 times. He is my life partner, my person. However we have had

    A lot of issues with our kids, his oldest boy and my oldest girl. It wasn't until

    Recently that I had issues with his daughter. I take medication for bipolar,

    Depression and Adderall to help me focus my thoughts. I know we

    Both have resentment towards each other, we have only ever disagreed

    And fought when it comes to our kids, our life together is not what

    We planned, we have moved, changed jobs, changed who we are and

    The kids that didn't live near us now do, we get them every other

    Weekend, holidays and 6wks in the summer. We only plans things when

    His kids are here, our life's revolved around each other and now it's

    Like we only coexist in our home, we haven't had intimacy in about 7 months

    And before that it was maybe once a month. We were both very

    Sexual in the beginning, however the first issue with his son I shut down

    And that was the beginning of our bumps in the road. We have had 1

    Struggle after another. So now you have a history please help.

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    • Posted

      Have you all sat down with each other and simply asked her why she is excluding you kindly? Let her speak her thoughts and just listen. Is her own Mother in the picture? Your husband probably doesnt even see a real issue here. His daughter is getting married and hes happy. I dont think it was intentional to hurt you, i dont think she meant to hurt you shes just busy trying to get her life started. Relaize her Dad is on wife number 3 so in her mind she probably doesnt view you as her Mom. Shes been thru a few of them. Look at it from her perspective. You have all this love you want to give and be included but maybe in her mind shes like stop. Wait. I have a mom and then everytime i got close to someone they were gone so no not doing that. I think this is something you all need to air out but bottom line is be happy for her. I dont think she feels this about you. Im saying that kindly. But i dont know everyone lives involved its all a guess here. You chose to marry this man because you love him. Kids come with the package. But try hard to understand you are an outsider in some ways okay at least to her. This is about you and your husband and dont destroy that love. These kids all go off at some point and it is just you and your husband. I hope that helps. 
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