I feel like I’m the only one going through this so bad ?

Posted , 20 users are following.

I read so many posts about hot flashes moods irritatability .  is ANYBODY else completed debilitated with fatigue and the darkest depression ??? 

Why do I feel like I’m the only one going through this ?

Who else has gone to bed whilst it’s still light outside ? I have for 5 months ! 

Who else has considered ending it all?

Hot flashes are NOTHING compared to this .

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  • Posted

    Yeah I had it bad , it seems to stop after 6 months .. So look for it to end about then, maybe a month or so more of it , if you've gotten past 5 so far, should start to lift next month..

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    • Posted

      Oh thank you gypsy ! Yes it started about 7 months ago whereby I couldn’t get out of bed felt spaced out and so lethargic then 5 months ago completely crashed . 

      Ok so I have one month to go .... yeah !!

      I’m going to believe you as it’s the only hope I have right now . 

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  • Posted

    I have been through this phase 3 times during last 5 years. I am in middle of third one. But the intensity and negative thought are in down hill at the moment. I am completely with you. Please write this on a paper "It shall pass" and put in on your wall. Be strong and keep writing. Lots of love.

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    • Posted

      Yes trying to remain optimistic praying a lot and just barely getting through each day ... completely alone . I’ll never forget this time in my life .... going to get the paper out right now and do that! Power of positive thinking ! 
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    • Posted

      Pat - that is so interesting about the phases you describe. I recently read from a doctor who studies the Menopause that some women will have intense phases and then can experience 3- 5 "good" months and then get hit with another intense peri/menopause phase. This seems to be my experience in a way. I never had the depression with the other 2 phases - just intense fatigue...like in bed for weeks as much as I could be in bed, night sweats, flashes and weird stuff with my period etc. Then I would have months and months of a pretty normal life. This is quite a journey; I had no idea it could be so rough. 

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    • Posted

      Yes I was thinking about the phases too ..

      Phase 1 couldn’t wake up or as it’s called ‘wakeupfullness’ would get up get back in bed like I was drugged

      Phase 2 constant dizziness like being on a boat 

      Phase 3 complete debilitating fatigue 

      Phase 4 not sleeping well waking up through the night and waking up too early  dark deep depression and loneliness .

      Let’s see if there’s a phase 5 6 7 

      I hope not ! 

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  • Posted

    Hi Lori,

    I completely understand where you are coming from. The deep depression of perimenopause has absolutely floored me! I have NEVER experienced anything like this in my entire life, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

    I have been going through this for the last year. I am almost 50, and my periods are really seeming like they are starting to peter out, so I am praying that I am near the end of all of this.

    I am a business owner, an athlete, and a real go getter, but I feel like a shell of my former self. It is almost as though I have died, but then I see myself emerge once again. I hold onto any times when I feel well, but it is so hard when the debilitating depression hits again.

    Just know that so many women are suffering, just as you are, and we are all just doing the best that we can to get through this awful, hideous time in our lives.

    If all that was required was strength and perseverance, I would have beaten this by now, I can assure you. This hormonal assault is so difficult to understand, fix, fight, or whatever else you are trying to do.

    I would take ANY physical complaint over this depression! I have felt completely detached from others, from myself, and from my life. It has been scary beyond belief. My only consolation is that I have massive support from my boyfriend, my mother, and some dear and close friends. Without them, I don't know where I would be.

    Please feel free to private message me. I know, from my perspective, that it truly helps to communicate with someone who absolutely gets it.

    I remember in a previous post when you stated that women having to go through this ordeal is a crime. I couldn't agree more with you.

    Sending you support and understanding.

    Bev

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    • Posted

      Hi Bev 

      So glad you have good support around you ... I think part of my problem too is being completely alone day in and day out ... I have to stay really strong . 

      Even when I do go out with friends I feel spacey like I’m not completely present .

      Being alone hasn’t bothered me in the past but now .... boy it’s tough. 

      If I can get through this ....like you I’m a strong person but I think ‘this’ can and has destroyed the strongest and most positive women . 

      Hopefully we can come back better than ever knowing the worst is over . And yes I went through this at 41 my first crash . I got through it with time .. but you get sick of fighting it ! It’s exhausting !

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    • Posted

      Bev - this is a beautiful reply of support and encouragement to Lori. 

      I can relate so much to your experience. I will be 50 in November. My periods seem to be petering out as well. I have had all sorts of peri symptoms that we slow and steady for a while - but nothing like the hormone crash I experienced in June. 

      This has been the hardest thing I have ever walked through. It was extremely difficult June and July and into August with the darkest cloud of menopause depression and physical symptoms I had never experienced in my life. When you say it floored you - that is my exact response. I was blindsided. I was so fragile.

      I feel like I am doing so much better the last 12 days; yes I count them...because it feels like a miracle to have a glimpse of me. I credit that to a wild yam cream I am using; but who knows. I am clinging to these "better" days and I am so thankful for the support, encouragement and wisdom from these amazing women on this forum. 

       

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  • Posted

    Lori

    you are not the only one for sure we are in the 25% but you're not the only one I'm there with you so is Bev and the other ladies.

    Completely understand what you're going through and it may be a couple of phases of it part 1 part 2 part 3 but it can't be constantly down that's just not morally or cosmically Fair.

    I'm with you.

    Xoxoxo

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  • Posted

    I am. 

    I've now been going through it for around 3 years and I'm 46. 

    It's horrible and I am a completely different person. I hate it but I have to try and carry on for the sake of my children mainly... I am hoping one day I'll regain my former self a little. 

    AJ. 😔x

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  • Posted

    Hi Lori, You know me already on here as always complaining about being tired and dizzy.  I am exhausted at a cellular level too...can be in the middle of something and have to stop immediately because I think I am going to drop. The, my anxiety kicks in and I get dizzy, off balanced.  I go to bed some nights and am shocked when my eyes open the next day.  Not yawning tired though...  I do not sleep all day.  I do the housework, get the kids and pets situated and retreat up to my room and read, etc. At 41, I feel lazy and guilty, wish I could do more, but I physically cannot right now.  All the other parents are doing stuff and going places, why the hell am I suffering so much? It bothers me because I was always going a mile a minute.  Mind you, I have been on an AD for 3 months.  I’m better, not great though.  we should start the metoo thing, like all these celebrities.  I know you are feeling in the dumps lately, please do not let it eat you up.  Keep posting to vent your feelings...you may just be helping someone else who is responding to you 😉. I wish we all lived closer...can you just imagine the support group we would have.

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    • Posted

      Ah thank you lou! Yes getting through each day when you don’t feel in control of your body is so tough .... it’s like all of a sudden you are not YOU ... like you’re a different person . And I don’t like this different person 😖 

      Proud of you for getting all your family and house in order ... I too try to keep up but it’s like your dragging a massive boulder around all day ... this sucks ! 

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    • Posted

      I hear you!  Feel like I have cement legs walking up the stairs.  I love to read and do it a lot these days.  My favorite author wrote a book last year.  It is about all of the women in the world coming down with a “ disease” that hits and causes them to sleep.  They are in cocoons and if they are disturbed...all hell breaks loose.  Basically, how would the world operate without women.  I’m ordering it...cannot wait to read it.  I think unknowingly he is writing about menopause 😀

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    • Posted

      Well that would be a solution to all of this ! Put us in cocoons until we feel better and things have leveled out . 

      We should as women be treasured not left to waste away like this . We should have help on every corner of every street. It’s all a crapshoot ... hopefully there will be a cure for this so the young women of today dont have to go through this . 

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    • Posted

      Lori - I love the idea of the cocoon. I told my hubby that if there were a Meno Treatment Center - I would love to check in for the 3 month stay (even if it meant my family could only visit once per week).  I would be guaranteed a better life at check out and on my way with the customized treatment plan of my choice (natural creams, BHRT, HRT, Anti-Depressant, Evening Primrose, etc etc - the doctors at the treatment center would have all options and observations available and would find the PERFECT solution for each of us). During those 3 months at the center, I could go through all of this awful stuff with my meno friends; we'd be there to support and encourage each other each day - just like this forum! smile Much like the rehab center that my dear brother lived in for 3 months for his alcoholism 25 years ago - Praise the Lord he has been sober since!

      And - yes - I hope that in generations to come - they will have wonderful options available. 

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    • Posted

      I have been checking online for such a place and cannot find anything . Most of the places are just spas that offer massages yoga etc. but we need more than that . They could monitor you  daily and give you the resources you need to get through this awful time . 
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    • Posted

      Same here Lou.  Feel lazy and guilty bc I can’t get more done.  What’s worse is my husband doesn’t stop.  He is always doing something...like he never gets tired....AND even worse is watching like you said other moms who seem to be living life to the fullest🙄!  What’s wrong with me.  I’m a good person.  Why me?  

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    • Posted

      OMG!  I know!  My husband doesn’t stop either.  I never realized that until now.  I try to explain what I’m dealing with.  He gets fed up with me sometimes and I tell him it would be like if all of his testosterone was gone...they wouldn’t be buzzing around!  Hang in there, some of us just get the s**t end of the stick 😐

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