I feel lost

I was where you are now. And all i can say is everything falls into place eventually... Have a plan xxxx

Hey, nothing wrong with not enjoying what your friends do, you are who you are. Have you felt like this for long or is it because you are studying a subject you have no interest in?

Would you say you are depressed or is it just feeling a bit lost with what you want to do at the minute? x

I have anxiety and i also have to plan what i say to people, even sometimes as far as writing it down it typing it in my phone to prevent messing up, constantly feel as if im being judged and hate being around crowds of people, i would probably have an anxiety attack.

Hi

Firstly i really feel for you.  I am probably old enough to be your gran but i know how you feel. My youngest has just finished at uni this year. He is tall, red haired lad and gay.  He phoned me the first week every day and told me how he hated the course, people etc (IT- graphic designer). He just had nothing in common with them.  I talked to him for ages and when i had finished i put the phone down and cried my eyes out but i said to him to have a goal and work towards it. Get out with other people and dont sit around the room (halls) on your own. Get a little part time job, so that you are not around the same people all the time and at least you are earning money. He was shy back in them days. Like i say he graduated this year.  What a different person he is now. As niccik said, it will all fall into place but you do have to put some of the pieces in order yourself. Dont sit around, try hard and get amongst people. Some of them may make you cringe. Go out with them and have a soft drink if you dont like alcohol. Let us know how you get on. 

I was overweight at uni, and had no confidence, so i too stayed in and isolated myself from my housemates. I just didnt have the confidence that they did... Also, i had a boyfriend back home so never settled in sheffield as i was always coming back whenever i could. I also didnt go to lectures becasue they were boring and i learn alot better doing practical activities. Now, looking back, if i could do it all again i would. I would do things so differently. Id get involved more, stay in sheffield more and settle, maybe get a part time job too, to meet people... Honestly, this is a great time of your life, grab it and make the most of it... I couldnt have said it better than sandra..xxx

Hey there,

I have been in the same place as you. It sounds like you dont have much confidence but that will soon grow.

Get your head down with your studies and use this as your focus. It will give you a foundation in life. A good education is key! Then good things will come from this. A job, MONEY, a relationship. As soon as you get your first job, your confidence will increase as you will have to talk to people. You will then meet new people and network.

Save up for your own place and have independence. Make yourself and someone happy in a relationship. Only you can do this and make your own happiness. It doesnt come to you, you gotta get out there and grab it!!

It sounds like you have a good family and a few friends. I didn't have this so you have some benefits in life already!

Good things will soon come. You have your whole life ahead of you

I bet you a pound to a penny there are others at your university who feel the same way as you and also don't like the usually socialising, drinking and prefer to stay in, and I agree it's NOT sad. 

Folk that just go to uni for the "social life" generally find it a hard lesson when the crunch comes to exams.

you say you've no talents of your own.... I'd prefer to say you probably haven't found that talent yet! You like music and creative arts so perhaps your talent is in the appreciation side and understanding of it.

N 

why not join a university club or society not involving drinking.  Don't be alone. it will only make your thoughts worse and inward thinking.  Maybe a change of course is in order too so you start enjoying the subject again.

Richard

Firstly, I like the pun! 

Secondly, is there any chance you can change your subject at uni?! One of my friends started a course and changed half way through her 2nd year due to hating it so much. I know what you mean about not feeling comfortable taking to your family over all of it, however I would strongly recommend doing so. When all my anxiety and panic first happened I thought my mum would not understand in the slightest, however she totally understood me and said I needed to do what was best for me. 

It sounds like I'm a lot like you, I would much rather stay in watching a film than be out drinking making a fool of myself! How you thought about going to your doctor, as they might be able to prescribe something just to help with social situations.

Hope any of this helps! :D 

Hi to all. I know it has been a while but right now it feel as if it is the right time. Sandra your son is a hero, he sounds amazing. Dont ever let him change. I come from an African background where education is key, because education is what my parents have been constantly told will 'set them free'. I dont want to be like my parents though. I want to help others, as well as my self in a plethora of ways. I know this thread seem as if it is a spoilt kid begging for attention, but I still feel lost. All my friends are finding jobs and figuring out their lives but I just want to listen to music and watch films. I just want to be of service to people in any capacity, I have no religion (religion just blurs line) and want to achive that through music even though I am not sure of how to do so. If anything hopefully this may have helped let you understand how you're children/spouse/family/friends/or whatever may be thinking. Nothing is in black and white and evryone thinks diferently.