I feel lost

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi guys

I am 20 years old currently at University, I am studying a subject that I have little to no interest in (law) and I have accepted that, this is the case (no pun intended)cool.

I have a few friends, but no one I can completely rely on or simply just talk about life/what I am feeling. My family is there and they are great people but I don't feel comfortable staying stuff like this to them.

I am a quiet person and keep to myself, I hardly go out with my friends because I don't drink and that is all they seem to want to do. I would rather stay in and watch a film, which is sad really. I don't go to lectures because it is just people reading from boards/powerpoint slides. New people make me nervous I am alway apprehensive about what I say and how to talk to people so I often steer clear of social gatherings.

I love music (only thing keeping me sane) and all forms of creativity but I can only admire as I have no real talents of my own. I am lost right now and I feel like things will only get worse.

I guess I feel as if I have no real 'purpose' to my existence right now and that I will never find this elusive 'purpose' if one exists.

I am new to this forum stuff and have never really told anyone this but hey theres a first time for everything. Thanks in advance

 

1 like, 14 replies

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    I was where you are now. And all i can say is everything falls into place eventually... Have a plan smile xxxx
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  • Posted

    Hey, nothing wrong with not enjoying what your friends do, you are who you are. Have you felt like this for long or is it because you are studying a subject you have no interest in?

    Would you say you are depressed or is it just feeling a bit lost with what you want to do at the minute? x

    I have anxiety and i also have to plan what i say to people, even sometimes as far as writing it down it typing it in my phone to prevent messing up, constantly feel as if im being judged and hate being around crowds of people, i would probably have an anxiety attack.

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    • Posted

      Hi Jake thanks for the reply. I forgot to mention I am in my third year and have felt this way for some time. I don't really want to label myself as being depressed because I feel as if it undermines those who feel alot worse than I do. I have also planned out things to say, glad to see I am not the only one
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    • Posted

      Well i can understand why you would feel like that after doing a subject you don't have much interest in, did this start when you realised that?

      I would say you have anxiety problems with regards to planning what you say, the reason i am like that is from bullying years ago, i get extremely nervous around people and have to be around people i am comfortable with. Is there any reason behind why you do those things? xx

       

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  • Posted

    Hi

    Firstly i really feel for you.  I am probably old enough to be your gran but i know how you feel. My youngest has just finished at uni this year. He is tall, red haired lad and gay.  He phoned me the first week every day and told me how he hated the course, people etc (IT- graphic designer). He just had nothing in common with them.  I talked to him for ages and when i had finished i put the phone down and cried my eyes out but i said to him to have a goal and work towards it. Get out with other people and dont sit around the room (halls) on your own. Get a little part time job, so that you are not around the same people all the time and at least you are earning money. He was shy back in them days. Like i say he graduated this year.  What a different person he is now. As niccik said, it will all fall into place but you do have to put some of the pieces in order yourself. Dont sit around, try hard and get amongst people. Some of them may make you cringe. Go out with them and have a soft drink if you dont like alcohol. Let us know how you get on. 

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    • Posted

      Hi Sandra, i guess i am around the same people too often, i never thought about that. As far as putting 'some of he pieces in order yourself' do you care to elaborate, its kind of a vague concept. Thanks for the reply also
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    • Posted

      Hi

      Sorry i didnt get back to you sooner, but i had to babysit. Putting some of the pieces in order:-  Well you said you like creativity then why dont you join a class. Maybe painting classes. How about crafts?  Do you like to knit or sew? I showed my two sons and daughter how to knit and sew when they were little. Both lads wanted to learn, my daughter never was very interested. Well my son was like you when he went to uni at first.  He got back into knitting. Knitted some scalfs and snoods and sold them at a reduced price to people at uni. I supplied the stuff! He also made bracelets and necklaces which he sold. Then he went into tie dyeing t-shirts, which he still does. He found a shop that would sell his stuff and now has a little business  out of that. Why not be a mystery shopper and get paid for it? My daughter did that at £10 per time and she got out and about and there was nobody shyer than her. The pieces that i mentioned are all little things like this. Also plan something with your family or friends for in the future and look forward to that, maybe a meal out. Plan what you are going to wear. Also, you are so young and you can change directions if law isnt what you want to do. How about working in a garden centre. Ok it isnt going to pay what a law firm will but you might be a lot happier in yourself and money isnt everything. Take care and keep us all informed. xx

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  • Posted

    I was overweight at uni, and had no confidence, so i too stayed in and isolated myself from my housemates. I just didnt have the confidence that they did... Also, i had a boyfriend back home so never settled in sheffield as i was always coming back whenever i could. I also didnt go to lectures becasue they were boring and i learn alot better doing practical activities. Now, looking back, if i could do it all again i would. I would do things so differently. Id get involved more, stay in sheffield more and settle, maybe get a part time job too, to meet people... Honestly, this is a great time of your life, grab it and make the most of it... I couldnt have said it better than sandra..xxx
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  • Posted

    Hey there,

    I have been in the same place as you. It sounds like you dont have much confidence but that will soon grow.

    Get your head down with your studies and use this as your focus. It will give you a foundation in life. A good education is key! Then good things will come from this. A job, MONEY, a relationship. As soon as you get your first job, your confidence will increase as you will have to talk to people. You will then meet new people and network.

    Save up for your own place and have independence. Make yourself and someone happy in a relationship. Only you can do this and make your own happiness. It doesnt come to you, you gotta get out there and grab it!!

    It sounds like you have a good family and a few friends. I didn't have this so you have some benefits in life already!

    Good things will soon come. You have your whole life ahead of you smile

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  • Posted

    I bet you a pound to a penny there are others at your university who feel the same way as you and also don't like the usually socialising, drinking and prefer to stay in, and I agree it's NOT sad. 

    Folk that just go to uni for the "social life" generally find it a hard lesson when the crunch comes to exams.

    you say you've no talents of your own.... I'd prefer to say you probably haven't found that talent yet! You like music and creative arts so perhaps your talent is in the appreciation side and understanding of it.

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  • Posted

    why not join a university club or society not involving drinking.  Don't be alone. it will only make your thoughts worse and inward thinking.  Maybe a change of course is in order too so you start enjoying the subject again.

    Richard

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    • Posted

      Agree, never sit alone. That used to be my major worry with my son and now 4 years later he says he is glad that he went to uni and he is certainly a more confident person.i know that not everyone is the same but do get out among people and dont sit around mopping cos the world wont come to you. 
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  • Posted

    Firstly, I like the pun! 

    Secondly, is there any chance you can change your subject at uni?! One of my friends started a course and changed half way through her 2nd year due to hating it so much. I know what you mean about not feeling comfortable taking to your family over all of it, however I would strongly recommend doing so. When all my anxiety and panic first happened I thought my mum would not understand in the slightest, however she totally understood me and said I needed to do what was best for me. 

    It sounds like I'm a lot like you, I would much rather stay in watching a film than be out drinking making a fool of myself! How you thought about going to your doctor, as they might be able to prescribe something just to help with social situations.

    Hope any of this helps! :D 

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  • Posted

    Hi to all. I know it has been a while but right now it feel as if it is the right time. Sandra your son is a hero, he sounds amazing. Dont ever let him change. I come from an African background where education is key, because education is what my parents have been constantly told will 'set them free'. I dont want to be like my parents though. I want to help others, as well as my self in a plethora of ways. I know this thread seem as if it is a spoilt kid begging for attention, but I still feel lost. All my friends are finding jobs and figuring out their lives but I just want to listen to music and watch films. I just want to be of service to people in any capacity, I have no religion (religion just blurs line) and want to achive that through music even though I am not sure of how to do so. If anything hopefully this may have helped let you understand how you're children/spouse/family/friends/or whatever may be thinking. Nothing is in black and white and evryone thinks diferently.
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