I feel nothing. Does this mean I'm depressed?

Posted , 3 users are following.

I struggled with horrible depression a year ago. It involved self-harm, suicidal tendencies and thoughts, low self-esteem, drug abuse, etc. My mind racing wouldn't stop and I'd constantly feel the bad emotions without any of the good ones. I felt so lazy and would constantly resort to marijuana for months everyday to subdue the insane thoughts.

I just realized now that I have no thoughts and no emotions, it seems like. The confusing part is that I am so productive and go to the gym often. I don't get angry at politics anymore or the way people treat me. When people talk to about their problems I space out. I also find myself faking reactions to "fit it" at school. I don't feel happy and I don't feel sad; I feel nothing. I am so confused because even at my darkest days when I felt "numb" I never felt like THIS. I don't know if I should just be okay with this or go to my psychiatrist.

Before I overcame the depression completely, I would cut myself while attempting to repress my sadness. I would also masturbate until I felt nothing. I would constantly beat myself up over not being able to push myself hard enough while working out and would have a restrictive diet. Could this be the reason I feel nothing?

I don't have low self-esteem and am not reliant on weed anymore. I don't feel lazy, but more productive. I don't have awful anxiety or thoughts. I don't feel bad about eating. I feel involuntarily asexual and kinda emotionless.

1 like, 1 reply

1 Reply

  • Posted

    I think maybe feeling numb and nothing might be part of the journey towards wellness. You are taking good care of yourself, and if faking till you make it works then that's great. See your psych if you have one and draw strength and hope from him or her. I am sure other amazing people on this forum will also add their opinions.

    Blessings to you friend

    Anna

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.