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I feel so alone

Posted , 3 users are following.

zoeyL
zoeyL

Hey everyone. 

I'm an 18 years old girl, and I've been suffering from anxiety\social anxiety disorder\panic attacks since I was 10. 

I have dreams, things I want to do, places I want to see... and sometimes - most ot the times - I feel like I could never achieve any of it. I feel like my anxiety and fears and stronger than me, pushing me backwards as I try to my very best to move forward. 

And when I do manage to somehow move forward, there is a panic attack that pushes me right back where I started. 

There are times, like now, when I can't stop crying. When I feel like everything is closing in on my and nothing will ever be okay ever again. 

I'm so sad, I'm so scared, I feel so alone. I feel so-so-so-so very much alone. Logically, I know I'm not the only one. Loically, I know it's my anxiety and depression talking and that I *will* be alright eventually. 

But logic has no room when It comes to anxiety. Logic will always lose. 

I never talked with anyone with anxiety disorder. 

Maybe it's why I feel so alone. Maybe not. I don't know. 

All I know is that I feel like I need to talk to *someone*. Because in times like now, everything is just too much. 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 zoeyL

    Posted

    What if you removed the one thought that everytime i move forward i get an anxiety attack and it pushes me backwards. What if you simply rode the anxiety attack thru without giving it any power or fuel? It would last ten minutes thats all the actual physical cycle lasts. (its oddly your survivor mode trying to protect you so it triggers fight or flight response) . If you looked at this differently it might help you.  Acceot the anxiety attack as is, dont believe it anything more then an anxiety attack. Then when it is done remind yourself that was anxiety it is not a disease and it is not needed and now i will go on with my day. Stubbornly go on with your day. Pretend its someone you cant stand yelling in your face and you know im sure how you would react to that. You definetly wouldnt embrace it . Saying all that see if you can get into cbt cognitve behavioral,therapy to help you deal and properly manage the anxiety disorder and depression. 
  • helen20833
    helen20833 zoeyL

    Posted

    Aw sweetie I know it's scary tackling fears. Firstly you are young, with your whole life before you, and that is a wonderful thing, even if right now it doesn't seem to be.

    You have to tackle your fears one by one. Lumping them together makes it seem an impossible task.

    You made the first step reaching out for help by posting here. Everyone here will help you. You are not alone. The most unselfish people you will ever meet in your life are right here, right now.

    Now then, I suggest that the best step forward is a visit to the doctor. Do not be afraid to tell him how you feel because anxiety disorder is an illness just like any other. If he prescribes medication do not fear that either. Don't fear you face a lifetime of pills because that might not be the case. And if it is? So what? You wouldn't refuse a pot for a broken limb, a walking stick if necessary or an operation if needs be. Medication for anxiety is no different. It's a tool to help you get better.

    You have to arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can about what is happening to you and what measures you can take to help yourself. By doing this it will take away much of the fear.

    If you don't have a trusted friend or family member you can open your heart and thoughts to then those on this site will be there. I promise you that!

    It sounds all though it is all to much for you dear. Whilst crying can be therapeutic it can also be a sign of depression and if you are trying to tackle this alone and feeling isolated then it's no wonder.

    You don't need to go it alone smile Just wait, responses will come to you. When they do don't just see them as messages, these are people who have "been there, done that" They understand. They will help, myself included.

    Have faith!!!

  • Bucket
    Bucket zoeyL

    Posted

    Very much your elder with lots of experience with anxiety and depression. I understand everything you say. I had a severe bout years ago and with too much stress off care taking it has returned so battling again. Some play face the fear it isn't going to kill it isn't going to last long etc. if u can do this I am sure the attacks will be less and less   Frankly I could never follow this. I am not strong enough. So the other option is meds and talking to a counselor versed in this condition.  You are young. Find you someone to talk you through and meds if necessary so you can whip this beast and live

  • kimberly59704
    kimberly59704 zoeyL

    Posted

    Are you seriousgirl. If you have had this all your life, just about,Why, oh why would you not go immediately to your family doctor. If you don't have one,get one. They know all about this anxiety, and panic attacks. They have treated hundreds and hundreds of people with this. It will not go away,so if you want to keep suffering, then do nothing, but if you want to get better,then get on a antidepressant. I have been a life long sufferer myself, and have been on meds along time. I am doing great, and you will too. Good luck

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