I feel so unbelievably miserable

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi to anyone whose listening,  I've just come home from work. I have suffered from anxiety and depression nearly all my adult life and was a very shy child. I have family who are always good to me but I've always felt like a misfit, I suppose due to shyness and low self esteem. I've never married and live alone, I have always managed to work but since being made redundant last time and being out of work several months I have only found a part time job. It seems that wherever I go there are certain people who have it in for me and knock what little confidence I have. I am really struggling this time, I'm not happy at work and have a horrible gossipy, nosey neighbour and at the moment I don't feel comfortable anywhere. I really feel so unhappy, miserable, depressed. I have had various medications over the years and hypnotherapy and CBT. Where do I go from here?

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24 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey...I've only just joined this group myself so don't feel comfortable giving you advice but I just wanted you to know that I've read your message and you're not alone here! I hope someone comes along to give you a boost and you can enjoy your evening x
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  • Posted

    Hi Fiore

    ​I can relate to everything you've said. Are you on any meds now ?? or illicit drugs cannabis, benzos, coke ectect? and what meds/ dosage have you tried in the past ???

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    • Posted

      Hi Craig,  I am on 300mg of venlafaxine which is quite a big dose. I was previously  on clomipramine  quite an old tricyclic, which I was on for donkey's years (!).  I am not and never have been on any illicit drugs..but thanks for that question, it actually caused me to laugh!
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    • Posted

      Hi again

      ​Gotta try and keep your sense of humour lol. 300 venlafaine is a huge dose think that's the max. I was on it for 6 years and it just stopped working, your body gets used to it, which makes sense. IT's also an SNRI, I'm also familiar with Clomipramine which as you say is in the  old timers club now. Sure you aware, but an SNRI also increase your norepinephrine along with the serotonin. Ask your Dr about switching to an SSRI the main ones being Sertaline, citalopram, fluxetine (prozac) and paroxetine. I actually take a combo of an SSRI Sertraline 150mg in the am and a teratrcylic Mirtazipine15mg in the pm. A med review is definately in order, but you'll need to taper down the venlafaxine has It's not an easy one to come off, and has really unpleasant "brain Zaps" you probably know about those by now. Do you do any exercise at all. Exercise releases endorphins (dopamine and serotonin, the feel good chemicals) Head down the Dr and ask about an SSRI. They'll prob opt for citalopram or sertraline with a tapered dose on the Venlafaxine. Hope this helps ya mate and keep ya chin up. keep me posted on how your getting on. Good luck

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  • Posted

    Hey Fiore,

    Welcome to the forum. Tell us about yourself.

    How old are you?

    What do you do for fun?

    What makes you happy?

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    • Posted

      Hi JP, let's just say I'm middle aged. Fun??? I'm not quite sure what it is any more but I walk quite a lot and am learning Italian. What makes me happy....beautiful gardens, flowers and sunshine but anxiety and low confidence tends to stop you enjoying anything. Well, that's the best answer I can give.
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    • Posted

      I helps  but I always have stuff on my mind. It's good to walk a long way to feel the benefits but I find that while I'm doing the walking I can get quite uptight and angry about things but after the walk I feel better. Sunshine and warmth are always a bit more relaxing.
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    • Posted

      uptight and angry sprint it off really push yourself use that to spur you on then drop back to a walk repeat if necessary, and try taking an ipod or something to listen to whilst exercising

       

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    • Posted

      No, I was on a CBT course last year, it seemed to work a little while I was doing the course but not really very effective. I think counselling would be better but it's a long time since my Doc sent me for that, I felt hurried by the set up. I also went to a voluntary funded group sessiion for a while years ago but one women was always getting at me, I think she resented another woman being in the group as the others were all men. I've also had CBT before and hypnotherapy. Incidentally, does hypnotherapy work with anyone else on the forum???
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    • Posted

      I agree with Jp CBT is a well documented and proven science, how ever you have to stick with it such as setting boundaries, adjusting bad habits and setting goals and planning how to acheive them. I know it sounds a bit childish, it's not it's retraining your brain to unlearn certain habits and adjusting to "normal" adult life. It's a life long program. I have done 2 CBT courses in my life. The first one I said i did, I did'nt really do. I turned up to the meetings and all, but I never did any of the things I was told would help, breathing techniques, a little TA (transactional analysis) What I'm getting at is there a 2 ways to do a CBT course. You either do half assed and just go through the motions, or you can really get into. I never tried hypnotherapy so can't comment on that, but I do think given your personal situation living alone, being made redudant only finding a part time job. All these things are adding up and giving you more time on your hands, giving you to much time to think. I would highly recommend contacting your Dr and see about counselling which may include one two one counselling aswell as group therpy, but they will both be based on CBT/ NLP core values and TA.
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    • Posted

      Thank you for your advice. I don't think the 6 CBT sessions that I had were enough but anyway I do the breathing techniques especially just before going into work. I have never heard of transactional analysis but will look it up. I see my Doc regularly (I have had queasiness and insomnia due to the venlafaxine) and will see her next week and will ask about counselling. Sometimes setting goals can even be difficult when you are on a low income but I shall continue trying.
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    • Posted

      Hi Fiore

      ​your right 6 sessions is no where near enough. I went on an 8 week 4 days a week 6hours a day course. Pretty intensive but life changing. Transactional analysis is basically how we react and respond to other people, with the basic premiss being you get what you give, meaning if your yelling at someone there's a good chance that they will be yelling back, if your speaking with someone chances are they will be speaking with the same tone, inflections and volumes. Humans tend to subconsciously mirror what the other person is doing. It will definately help you with the shyness which in turn will make you more social and in turn again a happier person, as will a change in your meds. You'll get there mate smile

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    • Posted

      Did you get all this therapy on the NHS? I can't see that happening these days or maybe it's this area? However, I will ask about any possibilities.
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    • Posted

      yes mate all paid for even paid for travel costs there and back look up turning point. They are the company that most councils use, but your 1st port of call should be with your gp and they will point you in the right direction. Where are you based in the UK mate. PM it if you don't want the world knowing
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    • Posted

      Just back from Ist italian class of term, it was good to see people but didn't contribute much as mind too muddled. Feeling a bit better after having a long talk with a colleague about work situation and horrible neighbour....Grrrr! Thanks for asking.
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    • Posted

      Were all here from ya mate, good that you got out and about and talking helps alot even about work stuff and finding common ground i.e. horrible neighbour. Thats a perfect example of transactional analysis between you and your friend smile keep us updated mate smile
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