I feel the world is urging me to take my own life

Posted , 8 users are following.

I forever live in a limbo of good things happen they are then taken away from me...

I suffered from acute depression at the beginning of the year started to recover and became slightly better...I started a job I liked...anyway my job involves the general public to which one member's behaviour was unacceptable physically harming others and rude, they made other people feel uncomfortable within the setting.

One occasion they started having go at me and was was asked to leave.

Now the individual is stalking me at work.

Only the weekend before I started to mentally make a move towards the future and I'm back down to zero

Started smoking

Not eating

Using tarot reading call lines again

Spending money uncontrollably

I'm now scared to go to work

I always feel I have to regret my actions my whole depression came because people continually beat down on me. I show one act of strength and tell this person they can't come back and I get punished

Why am I alive when clearly I'm

Not meant to be happy I was suppose to die from day one the world never wanted to me here I'm not suppose to be happy

2 likes, 16 replies

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  • Posted

    Always remember you have as much right to peace and happiness as anyone else. If you are being harassed or stalked then time to contact the police. I wish you well. E. 
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  • Posted

    DEAREST KELLY...first thing in the morning, you must !!! Make an appointment to see your GP...be totally honest about exactly how bad you feel, and that you are wishing ABOUT TAKING YOU LIFE...please, please try, YOU CAN !! Get help to lift your mood..

    It is imperative that you do not ignore b this young lady ...you really do ? Need and truly deserve help...HUGS to you...DEIRDRE xxx

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    • Posted

      Dierdre one thing to remember is that we can all read on here and capitalizing as you do is no help to anybody and is like you are yelling at us all.  Please simply write normall as that's all that is required for us all to understand your post.  No offence meant.
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  • Posted

    You have absolutely every right to be happy! There is a way out of this dark hole and you'll get there! You should speak to someone as soon as possible (Your GP) and be very honest with how you are feeling. They are there to help you. We are all here, on this site to talk to each other. Get each other through our horrible illnesses that we will beat! Get some fight in you and realise that life CAN be a beautiful thing and you CAN be a strong person again. You CAN build yourself up and there are people that can help you do that. Do not suffer alone! Get talking. Get help and get happy because you have every right. Do not let anyone make/let you feel otherwise!!!

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you I'm better I had a super low point but something is pushing me to a positive and I'm going to run with it

      Sorry for the stress caused

      I'm better nowx

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  • Posted

    If there is anything I can do please reach out. Is there a crisis line u can call? Sometimes taking helps. Positive energy being sent to u. You matter.

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    • Posted

      I'm better I had a really really low point last night but I'm going with my guy instincts to move forward...it's telling me to purchase a camera and start taking pictures to refocus my head...I'm going to go with this thought and perhaps it might help
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  • Posted

    Kelly seems to me you have one heck of an imagination. Why don't you try thinking of others who are far worse off than you are.  There are always other people out there with real problems and who don't want to hear you wanting to end it all when in reality you have a good life.  Get a dog and go walking or spend time in a good library and do some reading of happy events. Your moods affect others and they react and perhaps are tired of you complaining. You are every bit as good as the next person and if you smile and laugh a lot with others, you will find new friends who will treat you as you clearly deserve. Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. The choice is yours but keep on making monumental efforts to like others.
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    • Posted

      May day,....I use capitals to emphasize, not to shout or yell for heaven's sake....

      More importantly...do you honestly think that your post to Kelly is either HELPFUL or APPROPRIATE...the poor girl has posted here to get support, sympathy, and understanding...not to be questioned..lectured...and the WORST comment....

      Maybe people are tired of her complaining.....she is obviously very vulnerable at the moment....and the very !!! Last thing she needs is you behaving like a STERN...AND UNHELPFUL ...ALSO JUDGMENTAL HEAD TEACHER.... I really do think that you owe Kelly a sincere apology....DEIRDRE Anne veronica Bates...

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    • Posted

      Deirdre your strength just blows me away ...all I have to do is read your comments and I'm overwhelmed with your strength and it's catching... After reading from what you said I've redirected my thoughts.

      Please don't rise to the other comment, I think some fail to understand that depression can affect anyone may we remeber robin Williams who appeared happy but was pained inside.

      Your wonderful and your words touched me last night!

      Please never change ...you've pushed me to refocus today and I have an urge to but a camera which in going to run with it may help it may not but it's somethingx

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    • Posted

      Mayday I think you owe Kelly and Deirdre an apology. Your abrupt and insulting manner is extremely offensive and upsetting - here is someone in need of help and sincere advice from people who care about others very deeply. You sound bitter and angry so please in future keep your spiteful judgemental unhelpful criticisms to yourself, you have been very hurtful.
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    • Posted

      Mayday, kellie do you think for one minute that kellie chooses to be depressed. And if you face the truth you will know that she doesn't. Depression is one of the saddest thing that can happen to anyone and you don't know it until it happens to you. By you talking to her the way you did is very hurtful to someone like her. Depression is bad enough and by you telling things that are hurtful is like putting salt in her wounds. So please think before you speak out cause you yourself could someday face depression.
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  • Posted

    Kelly45731 the world is very cruel. They don't care to understand. Depression is an illness that is very very hard to deal with and you cannot do it by yourself. I do know that tarot cards are very bad and you are inviting more problems to your life. Tarot cards don't help anyone. Please get rid of them. The only one who can help you is Jesus Christ. He made and loves you very much. He gave life for you so you could be happy. He wants to be your friend. If you've never believed in God now is the time but you have to call on Him with all of your heart. Ask God to make Himself real to you and to help you. I pray you will do just that. People can't help you because they have problems too and can't help themselves. Don't apologize for saying the things you said or will say. Don't get me wrong there are a lot of good people out there but most of them don 't know how to help. I promise you God can help you and His name is Jesus. God bless you and please let us know what's going on. 
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