I feel trapped in this anxiety world.

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Hi, I live in Las Vegas and I have been battling anxiety for almost a year now. Idk where to even start. I guess from the begining, November 2013. It started at work, a job that I was so miserable at and it made me stress out so much. My boss was a horrible person, she would yell at anyone for any reason just because. I felt like no matter what I did it wasnt good enough. I dreadedgoing to work, when I was at work I counted down til I left, when I left work I dreaded going to work the next day. That's when the troubles breathing started, tingling fingers from yawing and trying to get oxygen because it felt like I wasn't getting any. At that time I had no idea what was wrong with me until a friend of mine told me it was anxiety because he also suffered from it. I'm a single mother of 3 kids, I'm 25 years old. My kids are my reason to live, they are my everything. But sometimes when it's so bad I have to go into the other room before I have an anxiety attack. I'm always on edge, if I get upset even over small things the anxiety pushes its way in. I feel hopeless. Im frustrated. I want to be spending time with my kids, go to the park with them, play with the them but I get out of breath so easily. I just started recenty going to the dr, they did blood work and didn't find anything. She gave me Klonopin* and its been three days but it hasnt done anything for me. My symptoms are Ii feel like there is a lump in my throat, feel like i cant get a breath in, my neck feels stiff, shaky, and weak.My fiance doesnt understand but he tries his best, he just cant relate. I've tried breathing exercises and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. I want my old life back. I'm hoping to be able to talk to others about this that can actually relate.

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  • Posted

    I suffer with anxiety and it's an awful vicious circle give your mess time to work usually a couple weeks. My anxiety is a bit didfferent I have health anxiety so I constantly fear of disease and death and how my children would cope if I wast around. I think it's natural to be anxious but some people have a bit too much where it actually stops you functioning. Try focus on your children just really try be head strong and plan and do stuff with kids. Keep yourself busy and you might find cognitive behaviour therapy also helps 

    Good luck xx

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    • Posted

      It really is an awful cycle!! I do have a fear of heath, but it's not about myself. I fear that something will happen to my kids. Like at night. I get up a few times to make sure the doors are locked and the kids are all still breathing. I have a fear that something would happen to them and I couldn't live life without them. It's gotten alot better than it was in the beginning but I've been getting more stressed out and the anxiety gets worse as well. Thank you for your kind words! I think I might try out the therapy. 
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  • Posted

    Hi kayla I can totally relate with you I'm going through the exact same at the moment, I'm only 17 years old from Ireland and I'm in my last year of school and my anxiety has been effecting me for the past few months now, I'm always on edge the exact same symptoms too! Trust me though it really isn't the end of the world, I went through a phase of depression too for the whole month of July, went on holidays to Portugal for 2 weeks and didn't enjoy one bit of it because of my anxiety! But trust me you will get through it xx
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  • Posted

    Hey Kayla.  Sorry to hear about your struggles. Like I say to everyone on here, they're not unique and you're not alone. It feels like the worst thing ever and you just want to get back to your old self. But in truth, this is more about waking up to the new you, it's not something you can run away from. The key to recovery is acceptance. Learn more about the things your mind and body need to relax, this way you'll be even more use with your kids. Chin up. Take care. 
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  • Posted

    I have the same feelings. Just started feeling like this from August. Out of no where. Did you get a MRI ?  X-rays?  People trying to diagnose me with everything, MS, Etc... It's soo frustrating. 
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  • Posted

    Your not alone....
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  • Posted

    Hi Kayla

    hope you are feeling better. I've had the same feelings with anxiety as well. It's not fun. I've had it for about 40 years and  I have fine long stretches with no panic and very little anxiety. One thing that really helped me was having a job that was very physical. I did shipping and receiving for a long time, fork lift and all! They say men suffere less from this disease, maybe it's because men have more physical jobs than women? I don't know. When my kids were young I cleaned houses and worked my buns off, and it also was a job that turned my anxiety into just a nice tired feeling. I was able to avoid medication for all that time and I'm not against medication. But I like to avoid it as everyone does.

    stay as active as you can, keep moving as much as you can. I've also had a few minor bouts of depression but really not much, I think I would take anxiety over depression.

    i also have seen a therapist and just kept going back and talking because what I tell them is private, not that I have a ton of secrets ...but you know how life is. Might be better to share certain stuff with someone who has no stake in outcomes. It was affordable for the majority of my life when I needed it, but recently when I needed low cost therapy the line is really long like I speak with someone every two months or so, which is fine. Many many people because of the downturn have anxiety. I feel we are affected by the mood of the times and everything isn't sunshine and lollipops right now.

    anxiety actually made me a better person I feel. If a better person is someone who has compassion. I try to treat people as nice as possible, like they say everyone has a private battle they are going through so being kind is a good thing, and it comes back usually. My kids were my world too, still are but grown with kids of their own. I'm glad I get to be a part of their lives.

    dont run away from anxiety. It gets bigger the more you dislike it Yes the physical stuff is horrible but after a while you say to your self..oh yeah another panic attack whatever. It does reduce itself, the less attention to it the best. So accept it make friends with it and even laugh with it, it goes away with or without medication. It makes you a better person. It means you are sensitive and aware.

    good luck...hang in there

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    • Posted

      Omg this spoke life to me. With going to church, and reading this, I feel A lot better. I'm trying to get over my anxiety now, my family just went home. We had a birthday gathering for my 9 year old, and the more noise and fun they had, the more I wanted to run away and stay to myself, smh. Not a good feeling. Can't wait until I get over this.
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    • Posted

      I know what you mean! If I'm in an environment with too much going on, I just want to run away and find a quiet place to hide! It's such a horrible feeling because I used to be so social and not afraid to be in crazy environments. Now I don't ever want to go anywhere besides work. I just don't have the energy to go out and play happy when deep down I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety/panic attack. It takes too much energy. I hope to be rid of this crap soon and I hope you feel better as well!
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    • Posted

      Thank you so much! I have really tried to not run away from it After I understood what it was I started looking up ways to get the anxiety better. It works for the most part but I feel on edge on a daily basis and I'm pretty good at keeping calm. We all know that sometimes thats just not possible. My fiance doesnt understand at all and its so frustating. He thinks that its such an easy fix, but it hasnt been. I was super active before this, but now if i go work out i cant catch a breath. You would think i was working out so hard because of how hard my heart is pumping. It just became too hard to workout, i get to breathless. I feel like no what I do, it wont go away. I def agree with you about being more compationate to others, I feel like I have been more patient with people. My job isnt physically straining at all, I have an office job where I mostly just answer phones and emails so no physical activity there =/ Im going to start going to the gym more and hope that over time itll get easier. I really dont want to be on meds, I'd rather do it the natural way.
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    • Posted

      It's so tiring!! I go to work and I keep my head down because if I realize there are so many people i start to get panicky! I work in  a hotel/casino so its really hard to avoid people and I hate that I feel the need to avoid them. It sucks. It all sucks.
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