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I got herpes from Hubby during oral & I'm starting to resent him

Posted , 2 users are following.

Cici8585
Cici8585

Long story short.... hubby had a cold sore on his lip that was almost gone and dried up.... he went down on me and about 2 weeks later I had my first outbreak. I was shocked when the doctor told me it was herpes and told myself I would be fine. I'm not fine and I'm starting to resent my husband. I know he didn't do it intentionally but I'm angry. I found out about a month ago and as we speak I'm getting a second outbreak. I don't know how to move on and forgive him. If any ladies/ gents can share how they've moved on and forgiven their spouse.... please share.

2 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken Cici8585

    Posted

    Awwww honey, I ca n completely understand that feeling and it is normal. Getting herpes, makes you go through a grieving process and when you experience the pain from it, it's hard not to get angry about it. Just know this will pass and as time goes on and you feel back to normal, you won't feel as bad about it. I highly recommend googling H Opportunity, as it is a social site for people w H and the moderators all have H and have had it for yrs and answer all the posts. It's a well put together site and can offer better emotional support I feel than this site. This one seems to be more people looking for Medical advise on dealing w herpes.

    Request to be put on suppressive therapy at least for the first yr. When you are experiencing symptoms, take daily Epsom salt baths, ad that makes the difference for me on how fast the OB disappears. Taking a daily probiotic makes a world of a difference too.

    So again, it's normal to feel that way. I got orak herpes from my ex husband and felt that way too, but eventually when the pain stops and you stop having obs, that will go away. So many people are in your shoes. Feel free to pm me if need be.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Cici8585

      Posted

      Just so you know, I do have genital herpes now too. Been a yr and got it after going 2yrs no sex after one time. It happens to the best of us.
    • Cici8585
      Cici8585 feelbroken

      Posted

      Yeah this is a crazy situation he has oral herpes and I have genital herpes and I just don't understand how this happened. I guess we just weren't careful enough.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Cici8585

      Posted

      Hun. This virus is contagious even when no symptoms are present. It is called asymptomatic shedding and sheds a certtoan amount of days a yr. Someone is most contagious just before during and after a breakout. There was a woman on here the other month, that got it after 30yrs of marriage to her husband from oral sex. It happens. I never kissed my ex when he had symptoms, ever. That probably explains why I never got it on my lips either. I had the entire inside of my mouth breakout, which leads me to believe he was shedding I'm his saliva. To this day, knock on wood; I have never had a sore on my mouth. Just a tiny dot on the corner inside of my mouth and that's it. That first OB thought was horrendous in my mouth. I have HSV 2 now on my genitals. It gets better, I promise. Everyone feels the way you do at first, you will come to terms w this I swear.

      How had your husband reacted to all this? Does he fear having sex w you and catching it now?

    • Cici8585
      Cici8585 feelbroken

      Posted

      He feels horrible about it. He says he loves me and he's here for me no matter what. It hasn't affected our sex life at all (except when I have a breakout). Even though he has been very supportive, part of me just wants scream at him and punch him in the balls. Lol I know I know it's just a thought.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Cici8585

      Posted

      Lol... That's totally normal to feel that way and don't feel bad about it, just don't stay living in it forever. W in 4 months, you'll really start to put this behind you.

      So it sounds like he's not too worried about getting it? Btwz statistics day it is extremely low for him to get HSV 1 genital to genital, as long as you abstain during obs.

      How long have you two been married?

      Are you in the states? It makes a difference between Europe and the states on the willingness, to allow you on daily suppressive therapy

    • Cici8585
      Cici8585 feelbroken

      Posted

      I am in the states and we've been married for just a little over a year. I am taking the Valtrex generic which really helped me with my first outbreak. My second outbreak is beginning as we speak and hopefully the meds will take care of it.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Cici8585

      Posted

      OK, good...so you were given daily suppressants? Don't worry, your second isn't as bad as your first. Everyone dreads their second, assuming it will be as horrific as their first. I'm going to make the assumption you two are a very young couple.. I'm so very glad he is supportive of this. Hang in there doll, you'll be OK, I promise. This happens to more than you know. 50% of all new genital herpes cases are caused by HSV 1 from oral sex, so you are hy far alone, although I'm sure, you feel very alone right now
    • Cici8585
      Cici8585 feelbroken

      Posted

      I'm 29 and he is 38.... well I will find b out in a few days how bad the outbreak will be. Thank you for the advise.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Cici8585

      Posted

      Make sure you doak in that bath nightly w Epsom salt bath, I swear it makes a difference. I feel so bad, I can read the disconnect in your responses. Hang in there, you'll get better. I'm here shall you need anything. Btwz bactine spray is a god send, as it numbs the area. If you have some in a location w lots of rubbing, heavy coating of Vaseline works wonders to minimize friction and burning from uring the bathroom.
    • Cici8585
      Cici8585 feelbroken

      Posted

      Yeah its not an easy thing to stomach... but I guess with time I will get used to it. I'll Def buy some bactine tomorrow.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Cici8585

      Posted

      And Epsom salt and probiotics... Probiotics changed me from having symptoms daily, to basicone but once in awhile. Epsom salt for baths when you haev symptoms. Keep your chin up! :-)
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