I had to put down my 12 year old cat, my first pet I ever owned and cared for myself.
Posted , 6 users are following.
My cat's name was Smokey, she was a thirteen pound tortie and the most loving little gal I've ever met. About a month ago, I noticed blood on her chin and that her bottom lip was drooping slightly. I took her to the vet the next day and was completely unprepared for what they told me; she had a large tumor in her jaw and they could do nothing about it. They did no biopsy and said it would be difficult to remove since it was taking up half of her jaw already. The vet gave her an antibiotic shot and a steroid shot but I knew I was pretty much trying to spend as much time with her as I could before I had to say goodbye. Well on Monday June 24th, 2019, I took her to the vet and had my last moments with her. She had started to show signs she was in pain and I promised her that I would never let her suffer, I would rather be in pain like I am now than to put her through that. I wanted to know if anybody had any suggestions to help with the healing process or how to be able to open my heart to another love when I'm ready. The picture I added is her sitting on my lap outside the vet's office, some of my last moments with her and I made sure she spent them outside of the cat carrier that she hated so much.
1 like, 10 replies
callycaz autumn84456
Posted
Hello so very sorry to hear about your beloved Smokey.
It will take time ,but you will get through this. hopefully you will gets lots of good advice . when i had to say good bye to my 'babies. all i did was cry alot , but its best to let it go and not bottle things up. its so good that you stayed with smokey till the last not everyone could do that. , you did what was kindest . im sure you will give a loving home to a new kitten or older cat soon. to me that was the best medicine . but only when your ready . you gave smokey all your love and got it back a hundred fold so there is no reason why you cant love again . try to be kind to yourself and give your self time to grieve . sending you lots of gentle hugs xx
autumn84456 callycaz
Posted
Thank you so much for your kind words and reassurance, it really helps me through this tough and emotional time. It was rough to stay with her while she fell asleep but I knew I wanted her to leave knowing she was loved and not alone. I'll admit I haven't been too kind to myself since it happened but I'll try my hardest to make sure I'm taken care of. Thank you again!
sam18386 autumn84456
Posted
Aw Autumn, bless you! You mustn't battle with your conscience or beat your self up for the fact that you had to put your lovely little cat out of pain. I think we are kinder to animals than we are to people, because you see so many cases of people being kept alive who have no life really. This happened with my grandmother, who was 92 and died of Alzheimer's 2 and a half years back. She would have been 95 if she had lived, funnily enough on Monday? I think you need to give yourself time, people will say all sorts about it was only a cat and oh you can get another one etc. You have to do what is right for you, I did but it took me 16/18 years something like that to get another cat after being attached to mine for about 18/20 years. He died sadly when I was on holiday, I was devastated and threw up all night. He was my little boy, I loved him. I now have a 6 year old cat and my youngest cat is nearly a year old. I am the same as you I love cats. Remember why you did what you did - to help your cat out of pain. Bless you, that was a selfless thing to do.
autumn84456 sam18386
Posted
Thank you so much! I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your baby, I'm sure he spent his days feeling very loved. I'll probably wait to do this but I was thinking of volunteering at a cat sanctuary in my town, I've heard it's good for the healing process and can help an owner find and be able to open their home and heart to another fur baby. You're right, I do need time especially since I didn't realize how hard this way going to be. Thank you again, and I hope your fur babies live long and happily!
sam18386 autumn84456
Posted
hi autumn, take it day by day and look after yourself.
autumn84456 sam18386
Posted
Thanks, I'll try my best!
wayne1962 autumn84456
Posted
Hi Autumn - Sorry to read of your loss. There are five stages to grieving - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The process is important because it helps us heal. Let it happen, it will take as long as it takes. Soon, you will begin to entertain thoughts of a new little buddy. This doesn't mean you have dismissed Smokey, it just means there is now room in your life and heart for another. On the spiritual side - you will see Smokey again when it's your turn to go home. Love never dies.
hypercat autumn84456
Posted
Ah this is heartbreaking and I am so sorry. I am a cat person and have to have 3 put down in the past so I do understand how you are feeling. To be honest I wouldn't think too far ahead to the future as you need to do your grieving first.
My last cat was the only one I had to actually take to the vets to be put down and for the next 5 days I felt like a cat murderer and couldn't bear the anguish and guilt. Then the lovely messages people had been giving me took hold. Things like even though it feels awful you did the right thing as a responsible pet owner as you couldn't see her in pain and distress. I am very sure she had a happy and cat fulfilling life and she is up in heaven at Rainbow bridge waiting for you some day.
I thought I couldn't bear another cat but my home didn't feel like a home any more so around 5 months afterwards got another kitten. He will probably be my last one as I am not getting any younger and do not want him to outlive me.
My previous cat was agoraphobia and always refused to go outside. He was big and white with faded ginger patches. He was very loving and affectionate. The next one I got was the exact opposite! He is small, black and white, loves the garden and is more trouble than all my other cats put together, but I love him just as much.
Sending you some hugs. xx
autumn84456 hypercat
Posted
Thank you so much for your kind words and I am definitely focusing on grieving! I've found that not isolating myself and sticking close to a friend or family member has been a savior for me, my cat used to be my only source of emotional comfort and I always turned to her for love and support but I'm learning to finally open up and let those close to me be my emotional support! She was a good kitty and I'll miss her everyday but I'm happy to know she's no longer in pain and happily waiting for me on the other side. Again, thank you so much!
hypercat autumn84456
Posted
Aw bless you. Yes she is at Rainbow Bridge and one day the two of you will be reunited. I know it doesn't seem like it now but time really is a great healer and the fond memories will begin in the future.
None of my beautiful cats will ever be forgotten as long as I live and I carry a special place in my heart for each and every one of them. You will too. xx