I have been 100% healthy for the last 7 years... why do I now think I have HIV?

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Hi Guys.

So up until two weeks ago, I have been the happiest, healthiest person on this planet..Until there was a discussion about sexual health at my workplace. A couple of guys started talking about how it's silly to just get tested for STD's such as Chlamidiya and not go the whole hog and get bloods done also. This got me thinking, I have had more than 5 episodes of unprotected sex in my lifetime, and always been checked for the most common STDs, but not anything else.

Since that discussion, it has well and truly taken over my life. It is all I am thinking about, even when I was in a long term relationship for 2 and a half years, I've gone back throughout my sexual history and it is well and truly driving me mad. I'm constantly scouring the web for stats and rates of catching HIV - it's stopping me from eating properly or concentrating on anything. I don't think it helps that I have just entered a new relationship with the most amazing person, who has never had unprotected sex in his life, therefore it's kind of making me feel a bit of a scrubber to be honest! 

I have always been healthy, and have regular STI checkups in which every single one has come back clear. Why has it now decided to take over my life? I do suffer with anxiety and I feel that this isnt helping matters. I have booked an appointment at a GUM clinic tomorrow to get the bloods done. 

I think my main reason in writing on here was just to get all these feelings of doubt out of my head and vented where others could share their experiences, and maybe make me feel better? I just want my life back. I have so many things to be positive about, but this negative is just taking over.

If anyone could share experiences, or just give some friendly advice, it would be much appreciated.

Thanks, everyone. 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh Charlotte thanks for sharing.  If you are in UK the risk is pretty small.  Despite the hype HIV/AIDs is uncommon.  The Guardian says that there are 130000 cases of which about half are men who have sex with men. So we can rule them out!  Another high risk group is men and women from sub Saharan Africa. Another is injecting drug users who share needles.

    I'd guess that wherever you are the groups are much the and you will know whether you fall into any with your partners.

    Again in UK I have found GUM clinics very helpful although when I went in naively with an ordinary UTI they said "see GP" but did give me antibiotics!

    And to think I doubted my FWB!

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  • Posted

    "much the" = "much the same"
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  • Posted

    Thanks for replying smile

    To be honest, I just want to go back to normal. I have the test booked for tomorrow - and I am literally dreading it. I think the results take about a week to come back, so the next week will not be fun whatsoever. I don't think I'm helping myself by scouring the internet literally 24/7 each day and scaring myself stupid. 

    I've gone back through my sexual history, and I think I have had about 8 episodes of unprotected sex, one being with a long term partner. 

    I just want my life back! 

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    • Posted

      It really is rare!  Please try not to worry; I think that you are right that searching internet is not good as there is a lot of useless wrong information.  I am however amazed that you only had 8 episodes of unprotected sex [even with long term partner]  as unless there is particular reason for that your risk must be absolutely minuscule! 

      In my long term relationships [I know I am male] we never used barrier methods.  Why would we?  I have never had any doubt of my partners' health

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    • Posted

      I'm trying really hard to not surf the net about this stuff. But for some reason my hands pick up my phone and my brain goes into overdrive. 16 sexual partners in total, 8 counts (there or there abouts) of unprotected sex. Never been sick, especially after unprotected episodes. There is such a big part of me that is saying I'm fine, but its the other part of me saying 'What If?' that is the problem.
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  • Posted

    HI Charlotte, I have stressed over the same thing - and sometimes convinced myself that I had every symptom possible. The net will most likely cause alot of unnecessary worry, so try not to search the net for your pre diagnosis. Also keep in mind you do not contract HIV by default - your partner must have it to pass it. (Sounds silly, but it helped me to relax while awaiting my results.) Luckily your results will be in and your concerns put to rest in about a week. Good Luck and always play safe.


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