I have been depressed ever since my family was forced to move. I don't know if I should visit?

Posted , 4 users are following.

About 4 years ago my family was forced to move from USA to the UK. My family and I have always travelled so when my parents said we would settle in America, I felt more relaxed and 'at home'. Then certain circumstances caused my family and I to move to the UK and like any normal person I missed my friends, school and life. However since I had moved numerous times before; I thought I'd just move on as usual. Due to me being shy I was friendless for a year when we moved back to the UK before making a small group of friends (4 or 5) in my second year at the new school. Years on, I believe I still haven't recovered from the circumstances that caused our move as it was tragic and a very difficult time. I have the opportunity to visit America again in the summer but I fear that if I go back, spend time as I used to; when I return home from my visit, I will become depressed once again. Or will the visit help to heal my emotional wounds? Any insight and opinions are greatly appriciated so THANK YOU! 

P.S Are your high school years your best years or does the world just get better?

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18 Replies

  • Posted

    The education system in the UK is different to that in the USA.

    It is difficult to advise on something in the British Educational System, when I do not know what has happened or your expriences, Where you within the Private education system or the Public Education System. The system you would have been in would have been different

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    • Posted

      You shouldn't treat it with any element of dread, or that it's a test or anything.

      Why not plan a ' holiday ' to the US? Everyone likes a holiday. And everyone feels a bit down when it's over. But it's good to get away. And then you can plan another one later.

      And why not, if you want, move there? I don't know what age you are but I'm sure if you really want you could move, even for a few months. And to be honest, you can be from new York to London in the space of watching a couple of films smile

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    • Posted

      It's just that life there was so great and if I go back, I would be reminded of everything that I had that I no longer have. I have been offered the chance (by my parents) to live over there with some friends, however I'd feel wrong leaving my family behind. Thank you for your reply

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    • Posted

      I have been enrolled in Public schools in both countries. But England is so different to America. I see all of my friends enjoying school with spirit week, school dances, fesivals, afterschool clubs, band and sporting events. However in England, there is nothing like that, I'm pretty sure my school doesn't even have a soccer team. There are no fun days (such as spirit week) there are no school dances except for Prom at the end of Yr.11 when you're 16 but even that was dull compared to the extravagant ones in the States. Thank you for your time to reply

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    • Posted

      Yes I can see your point, kids here play all the sports and a selcted few may be accepted on their house team the forward onto the school team.

      At Christmas they do have Christmas Parties or days out in the Summer, we are different here and that must feel like a negative in our State Schools. There is a marked difference in the Private School System and the same applies in many of our Universities. I do not know what to suggest, unless you talk to your School and organise somthing?.

      We must feel like a very dull society for Schools Activities

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    • Posted

      Hey. I'm sorry you feel so down and stressed about it.

      The first thing I'd say is give yourself a break. Your obviously kind and trying to do the right thing by others. Do something nice for yourself. If you're parents offered you the chance to go back you should! They will want you to be happy. And there's nothing to regret. And as I say, you can pop bask and forth now with relativeb ease.

      And even if you don't want to do it permanently, go for a few weeks or months. If you're in school go on the summer break.

      If your in college, you could arrange a Semester over there, or even go to college there? You may even go somewhere new, in Europe and find you fall in love with another place.

      I think you need to be abit easier on yourself. Do something you want. There's no crime in that!

      Good luck

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    • Posted

      Yes, I have thought about maybe talking to a member of staff at school to introduce something simiular to spirit week but the uniform situations is very strict over here so I'm not sure if they would go for it. 

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    • Posted

      I don't think it helps me that I'm an overthinker ahaha. I feel like whatever I do I won't be happy. If I stay over there without my family, sure I'll have my friends but I'll be missing my family. But if I stay in the UK I miss America. I'm not sure if you understand the school system for the UK but I'm in my first year of sixth form which is equal to Junior year of High School. I'm worried that if I choose to live there for a little while I'd miss vital information for my exams from my classes here. The thing is though is that I would want to attend highschool in America even just for a few months. Just so I could experience what my friends are experiencing. But again, if I were to move there I would have to live with friends and I wouldn't want to be a nuisance and out stay my welcome.

      My life would be much easier if was selfish and I didn't think rolleyes

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    • Posted

      Haha you're bang on there. People like you, and I'm the same, try to keep people happy at the expense of ourselves. It's taken me alot longer to realise that. I'm probably about ten or fifteen years older than you.

      It's not the end of the world though is it if u put up with school for another few years. And then see what college brings. At that stage you'll be more able to do what you want to. And also in college there are tons of things to do. I've never heard of spirit week before? I think what you have is alot of Nostalgia. That you think things are better in the US. I'd say you would find of you go back there, that they won't allow you to do things that maybe they have in the UK.

      My advice is to stick out school, if you can plan a holiday for a week over Xmas or summer, and start thinking of College. I was in a college that had a sister college in the states. There was options to go for a Semester. And they came here too. Was fun. Your friends could come over to. Did you think about that? Actualy what you think is bad and causing depression could be a good opportunity. To experience both.

      Have some fun. Do something selfish :p

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    • Posted

      I know that the best idea would to wait out school and then maybe see about attending college over in America but 1) I'm not too bothered about experiencing college, it's just highschool draws me in for some unknown reason and 2) I've dealt with these nostalgic feelings for 4 years now and they just keep getting worse. I don't know if I could withstand another 2 years

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    • Posted

      Talk to the Head Teacher at the school here and ask if you could arrange an activity that you would undertake in the USA. it may be He will allow you to arrange something in class. You never know and it may be nice to arrange a Thanks Giving Party to celebrate the arrival in the States I think you may still have time to make arrangements

      B.

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    • Posted

      Depending on the year of the class and the time of celebration it may not be a problem.

      Negotiate and see what can be arranged. This sort of activity can be put down to education in its own rite, so it can be an education experience where Brits get an understanding of your Home State. You may be very suprised, it could be a possible diversion away from education for a short  period.

      When I was a Youth Leader we also arranged special evenings, so even there if you have  a Youth Club and the school is not going to work you have a further outlook to try

      Nothing to loose a great deal to gain

      B.

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  • Posted

    Hi it sounds like you have unfinished business in the States so maybe the best thing is to go back for the time being.  Bear in mind though that it wouldn't be the same as before as our memories do colour past experiences.   It may be best to stay where you are and keep your memories intact.  x

     

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    • Posted

      Thanks for replying! I think I feel I have unfinished business due to the circumstances that caused us to move. I know that 2 of my friends have moved houses and they have both drastically changed. However, I don't know if this will help me as I feel as myind is stuck in the thought that if I go back, everything will go back to the way it was but I know it won't be the same. My brain is in a constant battle between reality and the fantasies that my brain conjures up rolleyes x

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    • Posted

      It's all part of getting old I'm afraid haha.

      Is spirit day a kindof lgbt thing in the states? If so, then yeah, you'll probably have to wait til after school to do that. But college has loads of clubs and societies and lots of things like that. And I don't know where you are, but in bigger cities the are groups for like 16-24 lgbt people, that you can look into.

      Anything would be a good distraction

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    • Posted

      Haha no, spirit week has nothing to do with the LGBT community. Its simply a week of school where each day is a different theme for dress code. For ex. Hippy day, Disney character day, nerd day. I know its really lame but for someone who loves dressing up and some who loves getting involved with school it seems so fun. Especially to see the whole school taking part
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