Posted , 6 users are following.
I just have a question I am hoping someone is able to answer because I honestly hate the way I am feeling right now.
I have always been a happy person, I am the biggest worry wart but I am a happy worry wart. In the past month and a half I have felt sick going to work, I couldn't get out of bed some days to go, I finally got up on a sick leave and will not be returning for a while well I sort out what to do but that isn't my major issue.
Since I start feeling this way I have started to doubt my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for 6 years and I have always loved him, he is my best friend and I always look forward to spending time with him. We bought a house two years ago and things have been good. 2016 was hard but I don't think it was easy for anyone.
But now I feel like I don't love him, like he will be better off without me, like I don't deserve him, that everything for the past 6 years has been a complete lie and I was never happy with him. I always saw our future together and now I can't see past this year. It breaks my heart and causing me to cry more often then I want too when I have these thoughts, he has been my rock and the one who encouraged me to get help and he is constantly worried about me, he works shift work so when he is on nights I am worse then when he is on days.
I can't imagine him not in my life and losing him would be my biggest regret in life but my head won't fully let me love him. Some moments I can and others are filled with doubt that I don't love him anymore and I don't want to be with him. I don't know where I would go or what I would do but I am just looking for answers.
He is my first serious boyfriend, I am 28 years old but I can't imagine that this is it for us, I mean 6 years I imagined our lives together and now since the depression nothing. What is going on with me? Are these feelings completely normal or is it something else?
1 like, 12 replies