I have no idea what's wrong with me

Posted , 3 users are following.

 I am honestly so confused. I have been feeling very off lately, from not eating or getting sleep or binge eating and sleeping to feeling so low, so empty, and so alone. I tend to cry basically every single day, over nothing really. I just start sobbing, and sometimes it even happens in the middle of class, so I have to go to the bathroom to cover it up. I feel so ashamed of myself, and so disgusted.

 I have been doing pretty bad in school lately, and my teachers are starting to make me feel like im a worthless piece of crap. I feel as though I'm a complete and utter worthless waste of space. I have no talents, nothing that I am good at doing, and no really outlet for my feelings, so I have been cutting myself in an attempt to make the feelings go away. I have no hopes and dreams, nothing I want to do with my life, so I kinda just sit in my room with my laptop or sleep.

   I can't tell my parents about it, partly becase they wouldn't understand and partly beause they would just brush it off, say that I'm perfectly fine. They have a pretty rocky relationship. My dad suffers for being bipolar and he has pretty bad anger problems, which lead to some pretty bad things. I used to get bullied in middle school and elementary school. Kids would make fun of the way that I dressed and that I had no friends. It droped my self esteem considerably, and I see myself as a mistake. 

 I have also recently gotten into other substances in order to get rid of all the nothingness that I feel. They help, but I know that I am just trying to destroy myself, to make myself be the piece of crap that I think I am. I have one friend who suffers from major depression, and I feel slightly better with her around, but especially when I am alone, I feel like nothing can help, nothing is working, and I just need to die.

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  • Posted

    ThonRavens,

    sounds truly horrible and you've painted quite a picture. Ask your doctor about Wellbutrin xl and do it ASAP. Then seek therapy. Never talk to anyone who doesn't respect therapy. I don't know of anyone anywhere that can't benefit from therapy. Check and see if there are any groups in your area. But first things first, check out Wellbutrin. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Sorry your feeling so bad it does sound like depression I know how it feels I have suffered for 16 years.and its a nasty illness

    Go to the doctor and get some help and consider therapy

    Stay Strongconfused

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  • Posted

    you may have the beginnings of a mental health problem so rather than get into substances and make it potentially worse I would try and get an appointment to see someone.  Like a psychiatrist or an educational psychologist. Ignore the teachers negativity, they just want you to do well so until you improve you will be stuck. Mental health can run in the family so try not to be upset with yourself over something you can't help.

    richard

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  • Posted

    I feel exactly the same. I barley Sleep and the weird thing is I don't get tired. I am on citalopram for depression but recentley I have felt this weird floating feeling. I also lost all motivation for doing anything. I don't know how to go on in life much longer like this. 
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