I have nothing to live for. . .

Posted , 9 users are following.

I am almost 44 years old, single, gay, have no friends (other than those on facebook) that i can hang out with or talk to.  I am such a loner.  I am in a dead-end job which I hate very much & hate the people i work with.  I've been applying for other jobs over the past 7+ years but to no avail.

I lost my brother to cancer & the rest of my family lives 400 miles away from me.  I don't know if I should move back to the area where they live.  Where they live is more expensive than where I live now.

Anyone have any suggestions?? Oh,? BTW, I AM depressed & have been on meds for the past 18 or so years.

I want to die but I don't know if I could do that to my immediate family.  They all love me but I only see them like twice a year.  

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  • Posted


    Sorry to hear your so down with your life and yourself.

    This world today is so weird, we can Skype, text and email almost instantly, yet many of us have never been lonelier before now. We have to do everything at 100 miles an hour and it's easy to drop out of the "zone". Once we do its a he'll of a journey back.

    You love your family, yet live hundreds of miles apart, you hate your job and your work colleagues.

    It would seem obvious what you should do, but financially you cannot . Change is required, only you can change it, perhaps one step at a time.

    Make a plan for say 12 months time. Find a job you enjoy doing but plan to do better in that job, make one or two casual, but genuine, friends much better than hundreds on Facebook. Time is on your side-make it better for you.


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  • Posted

    Sounds like your in a lot of pain, maybe being by your family would benefit you as you would have them there

    To talk to and go to in your dark time

    I understand how you feel, I'm 45 years old my girls have both moved out and there is me and my husband

    He's amazing but doesn't understand

    He does try but can't get his head round it

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  • Posted

    Hi Gary

    Firstly your so wrong sir there's over 5000 people on this site you have just gained 5000 new friends all that understand different things about you.

    I think you should consider moving closer to your family as well one thing you don't like you job most of your adult life is spent at work you know it's not fair but it's fact sobyou should at least be able to say I enjoy my job.

    The thing your worrying about regards rob expense is actually the cost of living although that is always conditioned by the pay amount for instance were I love beans may be 80p if I go to londen they may be 1.20 same product but my job here pays 350 ow week there the same job would pay 450 per week you can check that no probs at all just look up what your work pays that way

    I now need to ask you a question as it stood out to me and I thought instantly why did he say that I over think things so wonder why did you included your sexuality in the post I don't understand if you thought it mattered to anyone or whether you were instantly putting up a barrier sort of saying I'm more in the miniority maybe it's just because you prid and if it is that's great ya know I just thought why so hoping the question doesn't offend it just mind boggled me

    Thinking of you


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    • Posted

      Sorry Hakuna, I didn't mean to throw my sexuality out there like that.  I just was hoping other people that are LGBT could relate & could give some input from their perspective.  I surely dont let my sexuality define me; it's just a part of me.  I probably shoudn't have even include that information as it has nothing to do with how i'm feeling.  Statistics show that those who are LGBT are exponentially more susceptible to having mental health issues such as anxiety & depression.  

      When I said I don't have any friends, what I meant was that I don't have any friends I can call up & say Hey let's go grab a bite to eat or see a movie.  

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  • Posted

    Oh Gary I hope this doesn't sound stupid but now you have posted on here you have friends who will try and support. I'm in the same boat I have noone I can just have a cuppa and chat with i suffer from terrible depression got addicted to codeine put on subutex and soon getting detoxed off that and I'm gonna plunge into terrible depression just like I did when I had a previous detox I moved back to be near family for support it has helped so it may be worth a try. Don't use Facebook for friends you need people in your life 2 close friends are worth so much more than 500. Keep strong my friend you never know what's round the corner I send you lots of hugs and best wishes from the kindness of astranger xx

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  • Posted

    Hey Garya,

    I am sorry to hear that you are down, the thing is that you are not doing any good to yourself, I am not talking about ending your life, I mean the whole context. Just read again what you wrote, all your thoughts are negative. I do understand that you are in pain, but I don't think it's fair to yourself and the others that love you, you should change your thought process.

    It is true that a lot of people in this forum can give you support that you need by changing the way you think. You should empower yourself with positivity and the outcome will definitely be positive. If you think being next to your family why aren't you quit your job that you hate so much and move in with your family for a month or two and later you will figure out what to do nex. I am not a religious person, but there is a good proverb: "If God closes one door, he opens up another". Look the bright side of the life, no one told us that the life was going to be easy. Just empower yourself with positive thoughts.I wish you all the best. I hope you can find that courage within you to transform yourself.

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  • Posted

    Hi Gary, I feel for you - your story has many similarieis with mine. I too am gay (female) & suffer with depression - have been on meds almost 25 years & keep having recurring bouts of depression where those suicidal thoughts are creeping into my head on a more regular basis.

    If you would like a friendly ear to talk to I'm hear to try to help you in any way that I can.


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