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I have suffered many levels of Depression for 17 years!

Posted , 4 users are following.

hayley55219
hayley55219

This is the first time i have joined a forum about it. Ive had various treatments for the different things and to this day i suffer. Only a handful in my life know but sometimes you just need a stranger to talk to, who wont judge you, who knows what your feeling. So hello! I hope this has positive results for me and you . xx

2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • KMRC
    KMRC hayley55219

    Posted

    Dear Hayley,  are you getting treatment for your depressions?  There are very good therapy modalities used in conjunction with anti-depressants.  You, like me, may be on anti-depressants for life, which is ok.  I have tried to discontinue mine on several occasions but I ALWAYS end up in a dark, spiraling nothingness where all I think about is ending my life and suffering. My husband of 29 years understands and doesn't judge but says life would be a whole lot less fun without me.  Knowing I am funny, smart and loving when I am not depressed, he gently encourages me to call my shrink and get back on the Paxil.  It may take many trials to find the right anti-depressant but with concurrent therapy, you can improve and thrive.  There is no reason to be depressed when there is so much help available and many anti-depressants are very low cost.  I understand that "loving who you are" is extremely difficult when you are depressed and it is just the depression over riding good feelings.  Most depression can be reversed and that you can thrive once again.  The key is to get help at the start of the depression (which is not what the depression wants you to do...) and not to isolate.  That is like giving depression its own Petri dishes to thrive among. Keep a journal so you can track your progress and pitfalls.  We learn from both the good and the bad and it helps clarify where you want to be mentally.  Depression can also make you physically sick and tired.  Reach out for help and meds to treat the symptoms.  Stay away from negative situations and people when you are depressed (I avoid this when I am not depressed because these situations are inherently depressing!).  Self talk, when positive, helps, too.  Start small and build on all small victories.  Try to smile and laugh when you can because that increases your endorphins, those chemicals in our brains that make us feel good.  Best wishes for you.  Nobody wants to be depressed as it has nothing to offer us in daily life.
    • hayley55219
      hayley55219 KMRC

      Posted

      Thank you for your lovely reply. I do take sertraline, it seems to work its just i cant break the cycle of self destruct. In my younger years, teens etc ending it all was an option, but it will never be for me as i am now a single mummy of 2 (which doesnt help things) but they have drawn a line in me that i fear to cross for their sakes! I am all they have. I just wish i could draw the line for me too but its not that easy is it. I try to run as much as i can to vent any anger, ive recently purchased a runnin machine so if i cant get out the house due to the kids i have no excuse. I am trying to put things in place to stay positve, ironically enough i am a very positve person on the outward, im an optimist, its just in my nature so its hard when im under clouds, nto only does it set em back but its confusing to me and i dont like it. I have so many wonderful things in my life and im so very grateful, i even love my job, now thats rare. But its not a simple as all that as we all know.
  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 hayley55219

    Posted

    Welcome to the forum Hayley

    This is an excellent site for support or just to vent

    Stay Strongcool

    • hayley55219
      hayley55219 lynne82155

      Posted

      Thank you. Im not too sure wht it is im looking for from this but its my first ever try at something like this, my doctor wanted me to do cognital therepy but i think this should be ok. I dont have time to sit on a phone talking what with kids, school, work, school, football, dancing.....list is endless. I think im just looking for people in the same boat that know what it means to just not feel happy all of the time and to struggle with OCD like i do. No one i know has it but they all say "im so ocd over the cleaning" its flung around too often. Im obsessed with the time, clocks, calenders and i have to be active 24/7 surrounded by people or i go into a melt down.
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