I just dont know what to do

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi, I have been struggling with myself for years now. My memory is terrible and it effects in almost every aspect of my life. I isolate myself away from people because I feel like I have nothing to offer to them. And its true, because I've never been able to figure out how to just live or have a long conversation. My mind just goes blank when I try to approach people and dread being around anyone including my family.

My brother is who on leave right now, is back for about two weeks. And because of my issues I feel bad for him. He wants to spend time with me, but I feel like a boring burden. Im so quiet and self conscious that i feel like im holding people around me back from talking. Because when im around my brothers are more quiet, and pretty much every other group unless I leave or they just im around.

When it actually comes to doing a hobby or learning something new. Three things happen (1. I quickly lose interest because I try so hard at first, I overwhelm myself with info,(2. My inner voice tells me that whatever im looking into isn't me and everyone else is better anyway,(3 when I am decent at something my inner voice tells me anybody can do it, so it doesn't matter.

Im at a point now to where I just stay in my room smoking cigarettes because im extremely bored but feel a comfy emptiness in there. Because I can easily avoid people. There is another habit but not going into detail. Im going to see a psychiatrist but fear getting put on meds, and that he\she wont care to look into my memory issue.

Sometimes I wander if my mind just tells me that im worthless and do things for just so people can bad for me or if im mentally messed up. Because this is the only topic I can fully talk about but feel shame from it.

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  • Posted

    Hello Tom

    Before you go on your appointment make a list of the problems you have and how you feel.

    BOB

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  • Posted

    I wish I could give you a hug right now.. You probably think that one is cliche but I really mean it.. I'm not the best person to give an advice because when a person I know is upset or depress, I will do everything to keep them distracted just to get their minds off about what they're worrying or depress about.. You can try to start with a small convos with anything. COMPLETELY ANYTHING even if it's weird. Right now I'm having a problem and it's my own fault.. Well my own fault ever since I was born.. I hope you have a great day tom.

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  • Posted

    I would not recommend a beer to treat your problem. I am in my sixties. I volunteer with folks that are older then me. I like it as they make me feel young. Our youngest is in their forties. I like the older folks as things just sort of roll out of their mouth and don't seem to care. I like that as I have always been really careful of what i say try not to offend others. Some I learn to avoid. We are all for a common cause and whatever differences we have pales in comparison to the cause. Anyways, what I am trying to say find something you are pasonate about and go for it. Don't expect anything in return and just because you are there people might feel at easy because they see you there a lot. Sounds like you are a very caring person. But just scared of rejection.

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