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I feel i cant bare this pain anymore, this guilt im feeling grows more every day. I fell in love with this girl(single mom) 19yrs old. I met her when her baby was 4 months old. She didnt want a relationship, ahe was so closed up for having suffered through pregnancy alone but i never gave up. I did everything until she trusted me. I took over all costs of raising our little girl, she'll be 2 yrs old this March 2nd. They became my everything. Until one day i destroyed everything we had, a stupid mistake i cant ever forgive myself. My mom was about to undergo surgery and i had no way to help them. So one day without thinking i stole from him money to help my parents. Thinking i would repay him that same week i took it and didnt tell him. I never thought abput the consequences i was so blind. Her brother got know the following day and through his bank i was caught. I know i messed up. That same day he posted my picture all over facebook saying what i had done, he took court action against me and i was locked up 7 days. I repaid him that same week when i was bailed out. Now everyone knew what i had done, i started receiving threats through f.b, insults everything. The girl i had loved ao much hated me. Ive lost all my friends, no one trusts me and i know even my family is ashamed of me. I moved away and im now living in another town, yet everywhere i go what i did follows me. The girl ive loved never wants to know abput me again, she hates me, and she says only God could forgive me. I destroyed everything we had built, our family all my dreams everything. I cant sleep, ive tried almost every night killing myself but i cant, im such a coward. I swear this pain is unbearable. I dont want to live, i dont deserve it, id rather be dead than living with all of this. I cry until i sleep i scream but no one cares to listen to a theif that had the courage to steal from her girl's family. I know how much pain ive caused her, and ill never be able to forgive myself for what i did. My little girl will grow and she'll never know how much they mean to me. Every memory every thought males me feel the worst person ever. Im so ashamed of myself, i dont deserve being here. And i dont know how much longer will i be able to wake up everyday with all the pain ive caused.
Please i just need someone to listen to me.
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