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To whoever may come across this post:
My name is Amber. I'm a 19 year old female currently suffering with health anxiety. I've had anxiety I'm assuming all my life. Even as a little girl I worried about things that no little girl ever should. Death, life, money, and disease. Everything. I had my first real panic attack when I was 15. I had experienced my first physical symptom of anxiety. Chest tightness/chest pressure. I did what everyone with my condition should NEVER do. I googled my symptoms. "Lung cancer" I conjured up in my brain that this has to be the only logical explanation. "I had fluid in my lungs and my days were limited." I thought. I went into full panic. Screaming and crying I woke my mother up. I begged her to take me to the hospital. She comforted me and assured me it was all just the product of a strange word I never really heard before. "Anxiety". There I was thinking she was the crazy one and that she didn't care that I could drop dead any second. I've had situations throughout my life but nothing quite as severe as what I'm going through right now. I was involved in a pretty terrible car accident a couple months ago. My boyfriend and I got t-boned late at night while going through a stop sign a little too soon. We both walked away with little injury. He had a few bruises and sore muscles. I somehow smashed my head and needed 3 staples. I was in such shock I was calm pretty much the entire time. A few weeks after that happened I experienced something that I had no clue would take me on this life consuming journey. Chest pain. "Oh god" I thought. My heart. It has to be my heart. So once again, I googled. Symptoms of heart failure immediately popped up. I went into full panic. My boyfriend drove me to the ER upon my constant begging. I had a chest X-ray and EKG done. They found nothing abnormal. I had a dry cough so they blamed it on maybe some post nasal drip or allergies. I was sent home. With no relief of these symptoms. (Chest pain, chest tightness, back pain, heart palpitations, fast heart rate) I continued to panic. I was on google every day looking for an answer. It's been a month since this experience and I'm still experiencing these symptoms. Expect now they're even stronger. I google around 5-6 times a day. I can't even live a normal life anymore. I snap at everyone I love. I don't even remember what it feels like to just sit on the couch with my boyfriend and watch a movie without focusing in on every pain, every ache. Every twinge. To anyone who feels similar, or maybe even worse. To anyone with any type of anxiety. To anyone who feels like they're losing their life to this evil condition. You're not alone.
I just want my life back.
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