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I keep hearing a voice in my head. Is it my depression? Or is it something else?

Posted , 4 users are following.

erian22315
erian22315

I'm 19 turning 20, I've been depressed for 5 years it's been a tough journey but I can manage by distracting myself through school. I told my mom about it the year I realised I had it, but she didn't believe me, she even got a bit angry and shouted. She's the type that only believes in physical illness. Don't get it wrong though, she's a great mom who took care of me a lot but no ones perfect, right? I live in a country where mental health isn't that much of a priority yet, and I don't have the finances or job to bring myself to a psychiatrist.. So I guess I'll have to wait till I graduate and find work. So that's the backstory.. For about the past few months whenever I feel way more down than usual I've been hearing this voice in my head that mocks me, it keeps on telling me I'm worthless, a burden to everyone that deserves to disappear. There was a time when I was feeling so glum it told me to kill myself. I've been reading a few things about it.. and I'm worried it is what I think it is. Can anyone help me out? Any opinions as to what this voice in my head is?

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 erian22315

    Posted

    I wonder if you are schizophrenic. Bi polars don’t hear voices.

    You definitely need professional help. Are there any free clinics that you could go to or hot lines that you can call ? I don’t know which country you are in. Have you looked on line for free mental screenings where you are ? Try to find as many resources as you can and tell them how you are feeling and that you don’t have money. 

    Are you a minor? If so you may need to research help for minors who could possibly be experiencing mental illness.

    If this voice is telling you to harm yourself, you will need immediate help and care. 

    Please come back to us. Everybody here will try to guide you in the right direction.

    • erian22315
      erian22315 carmela45627

      Posted

      I'm from the Philippines, I doubt there are any clinics here that offer that. Maybe a school counselor would be alright but sadly I'm taking online uni, and they don't offer counseling for that matter.. I've been visiting 7cups for years now though, and it helped a lot. But by now I really need more than that... Thank you for your suggestions! I'll go ahead and look for sites that can help.

      I just took a test in PsyCom for schizophrenia and I scored mild indication. Thing is I only hear this voice whenever I feel really down or whenever something bad happens. When I feel better the voice disappears (sort of) I can still hear the voice at times whenever I'm doing things but it's not as loud and intrusive when I'm depressed.

    • carmela45627
      carmela45627 erian22315

      Posted

      It sounds like your in the beginning stages. They have no programs at all in the Philippines? 

      You are going to need help and support. We can support you here.

      It sounds like you may need meds and a professional for further help. 

      Please keep researching.

      Do you have hospitals that would treat you as an outpatient? Hospitals always have programs when you are not financially strong.

      Please keep in touch

  • DforD
    DforD erian22315

    Posted

    Hi erian22315,

    Based on the little history there about your mom, she seems to be a loving mother. When did you start feeling these things? or hearing these voices? I am asking because maybe by going back on when it started we can figure out why or what triggered them and eventually take steps on how you'll feel a little better.

    Sincerely,

    Derelle

    • erian22315
      erian22315 DforD

      Posted

      She is definitely is, she may have her faults but I can call myself lucky to have her smile I can't exactly remember when my depression started (I did realise I was 5 years ago) and one of the causes would be the time my mom and I spent with my abusive dad, it never really bothered me as a child but I guess it all came crashing down on me when I got older?

      And for the voices, I started hearing them for the past few months. I'm easily bugged down whenever something bad happens and I blame myself for most of it, and the voice inside my head reassures it or even makes it worse. As for now I'm looking for ways I can help myself, probably self-therapy? I don't want my depression to reach a point where I feel miserable 24/7.

      Thank you for your support it really helps! smile

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 erian22315

    Posted

    It seems like trauma sets off the voices. So when you are down, the voices occur.

    The abuse from your father may be sticking with you.

    It just hit you a little while ago. This is not your fault.

    You can’t control what your father has done. That is him not you.

    You were exposed to these traumatic events and now they are haunting you.

    Delayed reaction maybe,

    The abuse, neglect, and violence that I experienced while growing up didn’t hit me until my 20’s. 

    But I realized that I was only a child and there was nothing that I could have done to stop it besides screaming and crying at my family.

    Please keep coming back, together, all of us may be able to help piece this together for you.

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