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For a year now, I have been in a state which I still cannot identify nor comprehend, I'm in a mix of frustration, sadness and anger, I also imagine terrible senarios (some kind of Harm OCD), I keep obesessing about people I hold grudges on and associate them with everything around me (for example: someone I hold a grudge on loves litterature, everytime I see or read a book I get reminded of him/her which in turn prevents me from reading anything, a hobby that is important to me, it's absolute nonsense and I know it yet it cannot escape my mind).
I have been planning to study abroad in Europe because for a while I've been extremely disatisfied with my current life in terms of society and living conditions, and I was so sure that I'll be happy abroad and all that I mentioned above will fade away until someone told me that I shouldn't be so sure that I'll be finding happiness there and so I started telling myself that I will never be happy no matter where I go or what I do which is tormenting me to no end.
Any help is appreciated, thank you !
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