I left my fiancé AGAIN, is it because of my depression and intrusive thoughts?

Posted , 3 users are following.

so ive been with my fiance for 11 years. and we have a beautiful 8 year old daughter together. we were 17 when we met. well, 2013 was the first time i ever left him. i was talking to other guys. i liked the attention. i had a pretty traumatic childhood. my father beat my mother, drugs, fostercare. he was the only one to show me real love. i have had anxiety and depression for as long as i can remember but it started worsening at the age of 24. i am 27 now. i have left my fiance a total of 10x. longest length of time being for 2months. i love him. but i just left again. the past 2 times before i left i got strong repeating over and over thoughts that if i didnt leave ill never be happy or "you dont really love him" "youre hurting him". and those made me sooo anxious and depressed that i couldnt take it and just left. now, im still really really depressed. i miss him and want to be back in our home back with him but those thoughts keep stopping me. what the hell. i just miss my life.

0 likes, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    I am currently on the switch side of this story. My husband has left me, saying that he can't hurt me anymore. It hurts like hell, but to be honest. If he is not going to get the help he needs to change and take control of his anxiety and depression, we can't like like this with him keep leaving, it's affecting our 9 year old child too and it is affecting me, not that I notice but it is. You need to decide what you want, and stick to it because if you don't it will affect everyone and that's not fair on any of you x

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Personally, I would take the time out to think about what you really want from your relationship, because keep going back and forth is just giving you both false hope. You need to get your head straight before making any big decisions that will change the rest of your life and your child's x

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I understand your condition and the choices it forces you to make because my bipolar depression caused me to act out continually and waste my entire life through bad choices.

    That being said, I think it would be very beneficial for you to be single for awhile in order to face and begin dealing with your problems. Your continually returning to your 'homebase' with your fiance is only enabling you to act out in ways that harm everybody. Spend some time away from him - however long it takes for you to achieve stability and the readiness to be in a relationship without the need to seek out other men.

    Please dont do what I did and waste your life. Face up to and deal with your inner self - the one that's calling the shots. Get a diagnosis from a good doctor, some therapy and medication if necessary. That's what I wish with all my heart I had done.

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up