I'm depressed... It just gets worst...

Posted , 4 users are following.

I'm 17 and i always have episodes of depression, ever since i was bullied when i was 11 or less. i don't remenber much before ''the bully year''. after that i've been collecting the pieces. but i guess some are lost. it's been hard all this year, couse i can't get over the pain. don't get me wrong, i have friends and i laugh with them a lot. but it's always there, like a shadow ready to pull me back into the pain and agony of that year and all the problems with my family too. the smallest thing can make go back and make fell like life worths less than yesterday. it happens most of the time in places i should feel happy, like a party, sometimes becouse i don't talk to anyone during a break. normaly it hurts for a day.   but this last one it's been the worst so far. I guess it was my fall. 2 days ago i invited a girl and a another friend to my house, they are good friends and i don't feel anything about her . i invited  another girl to my house but she didn't come. we started to wach a movie. no talking. she crosses her leg on top of his. so i begin to remenber all that pain again. i leave the two of them alone. they begun to talk... so i knew i was been a nuisance in my own house. i guess it's normal to fell like that, specially, when you're alone, but them i heard them talking and laughing. i later find out they kissed... i couldn't hold it. i grabed a bottle of whisky and drink half of it in one shot. 5 minutes later it was hard to walk. after they left, i smash evething and went to bed having all sorts of suidal thoughts. the next day, little changed, and when i was taking a shower i hited the wall several times untill i could'n fell my hand. i don't know if i should go to a doctor or what i could do if something like that happens again...

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  • Posted

    Hi Dosski,

    ​I'm sorry you are going through these feelings at the moment life can be very challenging.

    ​Have a look at this link.

    https://patient.info/forums/discuss/depression-resources-298570

    ​I hope the information helps.

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  • Posted

    Bless you honey

    Bullying can have a major impact on a person. My granddaughter who is now your age went through it terribly. I do think it's wise to have a chat with your doctor. Don't feel embarrassed and just tell them what's happening with you. The bullies you encountered won't amount to much in life. Where as you will. Choose your friends carefully and one good friend is better than having lots of friends that are flakey.

    Make a positive plan of action starting with not drinking when you feel unhappy. Do you go to college? Only accept people in your life that truly care about you. I know when your young you think it's important to have loads of friends. Trust me its not about quantity it's about quality of friendship. Hope your hand is okay please get it checked out honey x

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  • Posted

    I got bullied in school! I'm 18 now and I get the same as you suicidal thoughts etc. Honestly keep going!! My motto is 'it may be stormy now but it can't rain forever' things do get better. I think you need to go to your GP most defiantly. But most of all don't feel like you have no one because that's when it gets worse. Don't feel shy embarrassed or 'not normal' when talking to them because they deal with depression anxiety everyday, we're all humans and we all feel different things and take things differently! Keep positive, message me on heresmile xx
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  • Posted

    You have anger issues...clearly.  Yes, you should see a Dr. for antidepressents.

    Antidepressents change or correct the chemical imbalance in our brains...you will feel better about yourself and if you are honest with the Dr....your anger will subside because they will give you the right medication.

    you have to let go of the bullying 6 years ago...carrying around that burden is harming your self respect and self esteem...Bullying is THEIR problem..not nice people...and there is more wrong with them than with YOU.

    Turning to alcohol...is a bad sign for your future if you do not learn how to "cope" with your anger and continue to lean on alcohol to ease the pain...you will wind up with the other problem of "alcoholism" which will only bring more sadness and defeat to your life...Trust me..I turned into an alcoholic....I always ran to the bottle...when I was happy, sad or mad.....its a crutch.

    We have to deal with our feelings in order to grow.

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  • Posted

    I feel your pain... and anyway's... you remind me of me...
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  • Posted

    There's nothing like the feeling of being betrayed, i have had many friends who turned there backs on me, i have family and cousins who i had faith in and they all turned to drugs and this feeling makes you feel more detached because your being tormented by thoughts that were caused by your enemies. I honestly think being on this earth is a punishment, when you think about it. Don't worry your not alone we are the real ones dont forget that. That's the attitude that makes us strong loyalty and descretion, sometimes you can be a better person for having nothing because then you wont be drowned in greed or selfishness, that feeling when people rule you makes you feel so small it makes you do stupid things, try and make yourself unique and stand out from the others because making yourself drink and do evil things makes your enemies know there getting to you.

    Hope i helped...

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  • Posted

    So sorry about the mispelled words and the mistakes...
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  • Posted

    Hey dosski,

    Sounds like your ghaving a tough time I would look into counsilling services and get an opinion you wouldnt need month sof therapy just some techiques of how to percieve things a little healthier, I was a lot like you when I was 17 bullied and other self esteem issues which is why I started playing instruments as that removed me from the darkness and made me feel good is there something you love that removes you from these thoughts? when we are young we are highly emotional beings and everything that happens has a much bigger impact on us than when we have been around the block more 'old like mewink' So there are some normal feelings going on too ! I was a bad drug and alcohol addict which almost killed me a couple of times so i honestly dont think you should take your fruistration out by drinking dude as that can be way bad!!! it sounds like you are into this girl too and were a little hurt by your buddy getting with her? My one bit of advice here is that you will find the right girl you just need to be patient and not in a rush! which is tough when we are young.... Hang in there buddy go talk to someone it will help promise smile Keep us posted how your doing too be good to hear from you man! 

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  • Posted

    Whatever makes you happy... but sometimes being happy is like being sad because people pick on your feelings everytime you go near them and when the day is over you feel drained and you look yourself in the mirror and think to yourself... why am i still breathing?... it's like you been born into this world for nothing... like a gone off product in a store just waiting there and waiting for the next lot to come in, that's what it's like... pointless. and evertime you seem to do the right thing it's like an invisible force is trying to pull you back and make you feel like everybody else is feeling like... slaves for the government, life is too bad for me right now to move on... maybe people want to count themseleves lucky if they were brought up into a wealthy family who has money and there future is all ready made up for them unlike all these other poor souls who have potential and still live like there bad or something, if we all had the power to have what we want then life wont be so linear instead of just doing the same old thing over and over i mean out of all the places in this world people just choose to stay around one area...it's crazy! but on top of what i'm feeling like about this world i sometimes think it's all down to moving up in the world i mean when you was a child life was great but now life is lame and we dont appretiate who we are.
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