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I'm 17 and i always have episodes of depression, ever since i was bullied when i was 11 or less. i don't remenber much before ''the bully year''. after that i've been collecting the pieces. but i guess some are lost. it's been hard all this year, couse i can't get over the pain. don't get me wrong, i have friends and i laugh with them a lot. but it's always there, like a shadow ready to pull me back into the pain and agony of that year and all the problems with my family too. the smallest thing can make go back and make fell like life worths less than yesterday. it happens most of the time in places i should feel happy, like a party, sometimes becouse i don't talk to anyone during a break. normaly it hurts for a day. but this last one it's been the worst so far. I guess it was my fall. 2 days ago i invited a girl and a another friend to my house, they are good friends and i don't feel anything about her . i invited another girl to my house but she didn't come. we started to wach a movie. no talking. she crosses her leg on top of his. so i begin to remenber all that pain again. i leave the two of them alone. they begun to talk... so i knew i was been a nuisance in my own house. i guess it's normal to fell like that, specially, when you're alone, but them i heard them talking and laughing. i later find out they kissed... i couldn't hold it. i grabed a bottle of whisky and drink half of it in one shot. 5 minutes later it was hard to walk. after they left, i smash evething and went to bed having all sorts of suidal thoughts. the next day, little changed, and when i was taking a shower i hited the wall several times untill i could'n fell my hand. i don't know if i should go to a doctor or what i could do if something like that happens again...
1 like, 14 replies
forrest Dosski
Posted
I'm sorry you are going through these feelings at the moment life can be very challenging.
Have a look at this link.
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/depression-resources-298570
I hope the information helps.
Dosski forrest
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lorraine52317 Dosski
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Bullying can have a major impact on a person. My granddaughter who is now your age went through it terribly. I do think it's wise to have a chat with your doctor. Don't feel embarrassed and just tell them what's happening with you. The bullies you encountered won't amount to much in life. Where as you will. Choose your friends carefully and one good friend is better than having lots of friends that are flakey.
Make a positive plan of action starting with not drinking when you feel unhappy. Do you go to college? Only accept people in your life that truly care about you. I know when your young you think it's important to have loads of friends. Trust me its not about quantity it's about quality of friendship. Hope your hand is okay please get it checked out honey x
Dosski lorraine52317
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cody_wright Dosski
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Dosski cody_wright
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Misssy2 Dosski
Posted
Antidepressents change or correct the chemical imbalance in our brains...you will feel better about yourself and if you are honest with the Dr....your anger will subside because they will give you the right medication.
you have to let go of the bullying 6 years ago...carrying around that burden is harming your self respect and self esteem...Bullying is THEIR problem..not nice people...and there is more wrong with them than with YOU.
Turning to alcohol...is a bad sign for your future if you do not learn how to "cope" with your anger and continue to lean on alcohol to ease the pain...you will wind up with the other problem of "alcoholism" which will only bring more sadness and defeat to your life...Trust me..I turned into an alcoholic....I always ran to the bottle...when I was happy, sad or mad.....its a crutch.
We have to deal with our feelings in order to grow.
Dosski Misssy2
Posted
thanks for the reply.
False_Hope Dosski
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False_Hope Dosski
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Hope i helped...
Dosski False_Hope
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Dosski
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stevo1975 Dosski
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Sounds like your ghaving a tough time I would look into counsilling services and get an opinion you wouldnt need month sof therapy just some techiques of how to percieve things a little healthier, I was a lot like you when I was 17 bullied and other self esteem issues which is why I started playing instruments as that removed me from the darkness and made me feel good is there something you love that removes you from these thoughts? when we are young we are highly emotional beings and everything that happens has a much bigger impact on us than when we have been around the block more 'old like me' So there are some normal feelings going on too ! I was a bad drug and alcohol addict which almost killed me a couple of times so i honestly dont think you should take your fruistration out by drinking dude as that can be way bad!!! it sounds like you are into this girl too and were a little hurt by your buddy getting with her? My one bit of advice here is that you will find the right girl you just need to be patient and not in a rush! which is tough when we are young.... Hang in there buddy go talk to someone it will help promise Keep us posted how your doing too be good to hear from you man!
False_Hope Dosski
Posted
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