I'm giving up on the social game

Posted , 4 users are following.

That's it. I give up. I do not need friends. I will go to work and I will come home and I will drink some alcohol until I am tired enough to go to bed and then I will wake up to her three times a night, wake up exhausted and start all over again the next day. I am sad. I am miserable. Day in and day out it does not change. I am 33. I have a husband. He smokes weed all the time but has a successful career as do I. I have never been good with connecting with people. We recently moved across the country, well two years ago. I started a new job recently and I just have a hard time meeting new people. I have no friends in the state that I live in. Give up. I think I am a good person and a likable person but I am I guess shy or I have a lot of social anxiety, it is very hard for me to make friends. I truly feel like giving up and just giving into her life is going to be for the rest of my life. I have no children. FYI.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Voice text messed some of that up and I think you will get it.
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  • Posted

    I feel like that too. I'm 18 and i recently moved to another city for my studies. I used to have friends to my hometown but making new friends seems really hard to me since i was diagnosed with GAD and health anxiety. It also takes energy off of me to be around people for too long. I am a likeable person but too shy and closed. However I'm really kind with people and smiling. Seems like it's not enough so I'm giving up on that game too lol I really can relate. I think that you will find your way though,it's like until you get used to it and stuff.

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  • Posted

    biggrin I can totally relate to you,  and even though I don't know you, I care about you because I know how it feels.  I've been shy since as long as I can remember which would be kindergarten. Always had social anxiety and never made friends. Always felt like an outsider through school and work.  I've spent many days just crying alone and doctors could not find anything wrong with me.It has been very difficult for me especially one of the very many anxiety symptoms creeped in. I literally couldn't take it anymore so I thought either I'm going to live the rest of my life being miserable or I'm going to do something about it.  First I stopped worrying or caring what other people thought which I have done my whole life. 

     I realize this was very difficult to do on my own so I found a counselor for felt comfortable with .   He literally has been like a lifeline for me and gave me tools I didn't even realize existed to help me with this problem. These counselors see this issue on a daily basis and really know how to help. 

     The other thing that has really helped is exercising whether it's walking or anything else. It releases endorphins in the brain and makes you feel really good! 

     so basically you have options when it comes to your life: you can...

     do nothing and feel poorly all the time which is really no way to live. Or get some help with this such as a counselor. Have you ever considered  taking some kind of a class for more socialization? Or volunteering? Anything to get you out of the house. Remember, it's not the amount of friends  we should seek, but having one or maybe two really good friends you can count on and enjoy being around. Most people are just acquaintances I have learned it's hard to find a really good friend. 

     I am in my 50s and I'm still a little shy and I know I will always be that way however I'm not going to let that ruin my life. I took up pickle ball which I really enjoy and it gets me out. I talk to people and hope maybe one day to make a friend out of that.  If I do make a friend that's fine if I don't that's fine too. like I said I'm a little shy but I push myself. Please don't take to the alcohol as it will make you depressed and destroy your life.  You are still very young and have many years ahead of you.

     some things to remember: 

    Be a fighter for yourself!  

     find a good counselor 

     get active! 

     eat healthy 

     listen to free meditative audios you can find on YouTube regarding negative thinking and depression 

     socialize a little even with shyness 

     don't feel sorry for yourself like I did 

     sure it may take a little time before you feel better but what if you got to lose? You're not feeling well right now so it's time to end that vicious cycle. 

     remember… You can do this! 

     

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  • Posted

    Talk to your Doctor, He will arrange a treatment plan for you

    Do you both not go anwhere together, even if it is just a walk. We found when we got married we would go out just to get out of our four walls. We would walk in the woods and when we returned would go to the Club and have a drink, it was good because it made us talk about the day. Give something like this a go and see how it goes

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Dont give up so fast and try not to bother with the alcohol it adds to depression. Rather seek therapy and work on you for a while. Therapy, work out or learn yoga and learn to get to know yourself and like yourself.  Im sure you are a likeable person you are dealing with stuff and you know sometimes when a lot is all muddld inside its reqlly hard to sit and chit chat about silly stuff. No interest in it, nothing wrong woth being shy either.  Shy people get along fine in this world. At you are doing is disliking yourself here. Being your own bully. I have done this myself. Annoy muself at times it happens. But then i realize i need me and you need you its all we really have whilst on this journey. So dont give up just yet. Geez if i have learned anything in my life it is that things change at the drop of a hat. If you relationship is toxic you might need to make changes. Maybe you are living so opposite of what you want its trying to wake you up. Change is scary. So id say start in therapy and vent all this out and maybe journal in the evenings. This is your life and if you want it to be different you kind of need to make it different. I mean that in that kindest way. Drinking is the most self destructive thing for anyone especially if you are depressed. Be your own friend first it will really make a difference on what you tolerate or not.
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