Posted , 3 users are following.
after 7 years of being on venlafaxine after really bad post natal depression I'm going to attempt to quit. I have read the forums for tips and it seems everyone's story is different. Here is my story. I have suffered depression since a child but coped with it as I thought that was how life was. After post natal depression I agreed to take anti depressants for my childs sake, I didn't want him growing up with a tearful, crazy mother (like I did) I guess they worked, or it may have been mind over matter and having a beautiful child at 42 which was such a blessing. But we all know being a parent adds to the workload and it's never going to be easy. I really believed having a child myself would make me happier than I had been growing up as I could give my child the love I never had and realise that the life I used to have was not normal. I went back to work full time, got a bigger mortgage and done it all on my own. I don't resent any of it, I love being a mother it's priceless. I had ups and down days on the venlafaxine but I really did have more good days than I used to have, so there's progress, after 6 years of being on the tablets I have started getting really down again with uncontrollable crying and angry moods. When I feel like I'm running a hotel and the partners not pulling his weight I let off a tangent and really hate myself, but that's probably how most women feel at times. My mum makes me feel worse and really brings me down as I can never go to her when I feel low as she goes on about how lucky I am and I know how she has felt, so the support was never there. At Christmas I invited the parents over to stay and mum was in a right filthy, patronising and picking me to pieces mood. I finally snapped after 3 whole days and nights of it and it finally hit me that my problem was right in front of me. I was emotionally and physically abused as a child by my mother, I'd had bottles smashed over my head, beatings that these days would not be acceptable and living in fear of what will she do next. When I moved out at 26 the emotional abuse still continued, I was constantly getting bad comments and my mum was like a time bomb, sometimes I'd leave her house in tears as she made me feel so low. At Christmas after telling her to leave the house as she had over stepped the mark, her venom flooded out and she told me she hated me over and over and said she never wanted to see me again. In a way I knew this would be for the best, I could finally start to get better. I've had 2 breakdowns at work and having counselling. I believe this is my lifestyle so this is the start of kicking the tablets.
2 likes, 9 replies