I'm going to come off venal faxing after 6 years
Posted , 3 users are following.
after 7 years of being on venlafaxine after really bad post natal depression I'm going to attempt to quit. I have read the forums for tips and it seems everyone's story is different. Here is my story. I have suffered depression since a child but coped with it as I thought that was how life was. After post natal depression I agreed to take anti depressants for my childs sake, I didn't want him growing up with a tearful, crazy mother (like I did) I guess they worked, or it may have been mind over matter and having a beautiful child at 42 which was such a blessing. But we all know being a parent adds to the workload and it's never going to be easy. I really believed having a child myself would make me happier than I had been growing up as I could give my child the love I never had and realise that the life I used to have was not normal. I went back to work full time, got a bigger mortgage and done it all on my own. I don't resent any of it, I love being a mother it's priceless. I had ups and down days on the venlafaxine but I really did have more good days than I used to have, so there's progress, after 6 years of being on the tablets I have started getting really down again with uncontrollable crying and angry moods. When I feel like I'm running a hotel and the partners not pulling his weight I let off a tangent and really hate myself, but that's probably how most women feel at times. My mum makes me feel worse and really brings me down as I can never go to her when I feel low as she goes on about how lucky I am and I know how she has felt, so the support was never there. At Christmas I invited the parents over to stay and mum was in a right filthy, patronising and picking me to pieces mood. I finally snapped after 3 whole days and nights of it and it finally hit me that my problem was right in front of me. I was emotionally and physically abused as a child by my mother, I'd had bottles smashed over my head, beatings that these days would not be acceptable and living in fear of what will she do next. When I moved out at 26 the emotional abuse still continued, I was constantly getting bad comments and my mum was like a time bomb, sometimes I'd leave her house in tears as she made me feel so low. At Christmas after telling her to leave the house as she had over stepped the mark, her venom flooded out and she told me she hated me over and over and said she never wanted to see me again. In a way I knew this would be for the best, I could finally start to get better. I've had 2 breakdowns at work and having counselling. I believe this is my lifestyle so this is the start of kicking the tablets.
2 likes, 9 replies
maggie80535 juju1966
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juju1966 maggie80535
Posted
Bendie juju1966
Posted
I am at the other extreme should have taken first Venlafaxine this morning but am fed up consuming chemicals that always seem to disappoint.
Once again my best wishes for the withdrawal x
juju1966 Bendie
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looks like your journey is about to start, depression really sucks and doctors/councillors and friends all say go out with friends and socialise more, but when you feel so low that's the last thing you want to do, the illness makes you feel so isolated. Being a sufferer so long it's changed who I used to be as a person, the tablets are right for some as a way to cope, but there's always something that's triggered it. Life has many hurdles that we constantly have to get over, progress is sometimes very hard. I don't know your story but If your not sure about taking the tablets, try counselling if you haven't already, or take vitamins, they seem to make your body feel different which can help your mind. My counsellor has been quite good, but in the early days I had a counsellor who was useless which set me back. I guess what I'm trying to say is once you realise what's triggered the illness that's when you can start to move forward. I wish you luck to Hun. X
Aspinan juju1966
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i reduced by 75mg every 3rd day by cutting out my evening dose, when I got yo 75mg I split the tablet in two taking half in morning half in eve and it's been fine.
Im now taking Anafranil instead.
good luck and as suggested some councelling will help but you've taken the biggest step, you just need to tell yourself and the inner child that your mum cannot treat you like she does.
Here's tip for you... Find a photograph of yourself when you were a child at the sort of age you see yourself when being abused by your mum and speak to her, tell her the adult YOU will now protect her and not let your mum abuse her again and keep the photo on you.
When you react to your mum it's the child inside that takes it and you feel the pain, by protecting the inner child as a grown up you will find yourself being a lot more assertive and will protect her as you would do your own children.
It is very powerful and liberating.
Take care on both levels.
Neil
juju1966 Aspinan
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im having counselling now which has helped me see clearer. The first 2 were the worse as it all floods out, but once it's out but now I realise what I have suffered and ways to cope and understand, I'm getting there. I don't have contact with my mum now, at Christmas I had a set to with her and I realised she was my problem for not getting over it, she was constantly putting me down, so I told her she was the reason, which didn't go down to well. The final venom came out of her mouth, she told me she hated me, never wanted to see me again and to get out the way of her car before she ran me down, that was of course after I told her to leave my house because of the way she treated me for four days I had her staying with me for the Christmas break. It was hard to let go because she is my mum, but 4 months later without her in my life, I am actually getting better. It's taken me 48 years but now I have a son, I don't want such venom and poison in his life. So he has helped me focus. Thanks again.
anne240 juju1966
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juju1966 anne240
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anne240 juju1966
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Good luck. If you want more hints on how to come off slowly ask me.