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I'm not at all interested to learn or do any, what should i do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Isfaqahm
Isfaqahm

I am isfaq. I am 26 years old. I do not know why? nowadays i don't have any interest to learn or to study or to work. I am forcing myself to do something but also my mind always wander. I really want to be a good son to my parents, good bro to my bro, but i realized now i am going to disappoint them very soon. because their expectation from me is always very high, though i am brainless. I am working in foreign for past 2 years but still not learned a single word of their language. Because i do not get interest at all. I am trying to learn, but i always end up in forgetting it. I am a day dreamer from my childhood days, I never wooried about anything in my life until i graduated. But nowadays i feel lonley and frustrated. sometimes i used to think, if i die today naturally, it might be good. Because my parents wonts see my failure life. I really do not know what to do at this point. I am not good in studies but ended up in getting high grades from my childhood which still i myself cant believe. My friends used to think, I have knowledge but purposely acting like a fool inorder to relieve myself from my responsibilty. Though i explained to them, they dint believe me.

What pains me alot is... Whenever i say to dad, My exam is too tough, I am going to fail. He never ever said a word other than this word which is " I know you will pass for sure. if not also, no problem. you can do it better next time, I am there for you"

More than this... My mom used to say during exam time... why are they making my son to suffer alot... "Won't it be good to give question paper a day or before the exam, so he can do well without woories"

And my bro always used to scold me from my childhood, so i used to hate him alot. But In reality, if he is going to buy soething for him, he used to buy better one for me than his. so that my mind will be at ease. Such a caring person. But dont know how to express his care to me nicely and act like rought and tough but actually warm person.

Still i really do not know my likes and dislikes. Is my life really going to be worthless? if that happens.. how am i going to face my parents? How am i going to make living? ...... the answer in mind is .....................................................................................................................

.....................................................................................................................

........................................................... nothing else other than blank...........

why am i born as a child to such a nice family ? why am i still alive ? why ? why? why? ....

I am BE EEE graduate from Tamil Nadu, India. I graduated in the year 2012. Does my life have happy ending ? or sad ending ? If i become invisible how nice it would be? or if i die, how good it woud be?....

Why am i like this? What am i going to do now? Can i overcome the hurdles? if can, How?.... When?....

2 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • mike09523
    mike09523 Isfaqahm

    Posted

    Hi Isfaqahm,

    You are being to harsh on yourself and trying to do the impossible.

    You cannot please everyone in life, so you think yourself a failure. Your mind is wandering to protect itself, rather than burn out trying to fulfill everyone's confidence in you.

    Stop, take stock of your situation. It's no good chasing other people's expectations. What is the worst that an happen if you do fail at some things. You have, possibly ,many decades of life ahead of you, as well as many different paths to take. We all take a wrong path in our lives but continue to walk, do not give up.

    Mike.

  • john_30161
    john_30161 Isfaqahm

    Posted

    You are a good soul - that's clear from your writing.  I would just encourage you to ponder the following.....

       First, Your family will be happiest for you when you've found and are following what brings you the most joy and sense of purpose in life.  They may offer advice and guidance with the best intentions, but no one can hear your heart's calling...only you can.  

       Second, try accepting yourself and all that you are experiencing without any judgment....even what seems to be a blank mind.  Your heart's desire will speak to when you least expect it.  Then be willing to follow that calling one day at a time, with whatever level of passion arises ... force nothing and go with the flow.  Let this be your organizing principle and don't rush anything.

        Good Karma to you smile

       

  • cycad
    cycad Isfaqahm

    Posted

    Having little or no motivation, worrying about many things all the time, low self esteem/self worth - could be signs of depression, yes, but I'm not saying it is. That would be for the doctor and the psychologist to sit down with you to determine. Why don't you talk to your doctor and reveal what's in your mind or arrange a therapy session and see if you can work your way through these mental blockages with the therapist. It sounds like your family will be supportive of you in this, which is good.

    All the best Isfaqahm. It'll be okay. 

  • Isfaqahm
    Isfaqahm

    Posted

    Thank you guys for making time to read my post and for your reply. I'll try my best to lead my life as it leads. I try to improve myself little by little.

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