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I'm not happy..,

Posted , 3 users are following.

audrey96558
audrey96558

I'm not happy.

I'm really trying to be happy.

I'm taking my meds (gabapentin 150mg and diazepam).

I'm not able to get any counselling or psychology appts at the moment as I've had my allotted amount, I'm really struggling since the talking therapies have ended.

I feel very very agitated, not sleeping as usual, and just seem to either be unbelievably hyperactive/restless or very sleepy.

I've had to move closer to my "trauma" site that happened so long, for reasons beyond my control, and I didn't think it'd effect me too much, but every time I drive past the place I feel sick and dizzy and like I want to drive my car through a brick wall.

I just can't seem to get a hold of myself.

It's like repeatedly striking a match and it not lighting. I'm trying so hard. I don't know what else to do?

I just want to feel at peace. Xxx

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • susan45954
    susan45954 audrey96558

    Posted

    Could you talk to your doctors and see if you can get your counseling sessions reinstated?
  • susan45954
    susan45954 audrey96558

    Posted

    Did someone pass away?
    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 susan45954

      Posted

      Yeah my grandma died, my uncle is dying and I was carer to them both.

      Currently carer to my disabled partner.

      No help from his family.

      My "trauma" as it seems to be labeled was me being beaten to the extent of brain contusions... I didn't get any justice as the person who did it was underage and from a troubled background so the CPS couldn't take it further.. Despite police involvement etc,

      I have to wait 6 months until I can next get counselling sadly despite being classed in the severe range for depression and anxiety.

      There just isn't enough funding I guess.

      But where does that leave me?

      xxx

    • susan45954
      susan45954 audrey96558

      Posted

      I am sorry that you have to go through this. Anyone in your family that you can talk to? How is your partner disabled?
    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 susan45954

      Posted

      They all know about everything they just assume I can deal with it, despite me saying otherwise.

      He had a botched spinal surgery, he was about to join emergency services whilst doing his degree and part time job, surgery went wrong.

      He's in his mid 20s, used to do martial arts and boxing, now I have to help him get his socks on, wash, eat, and he's facing his future in a wheelchair.

      Seems so unfair, but I guess that's life?

      xxx

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 susan45954

      Posted

      I love him more than I ever dreamed possible.

      Friends since we were 16/17..

      Together as a couple for 7 years.

      He's the most perfect man for me.

      Doesn't make things easier but I do count my blessings!

      Xxx

  • peter2824
    peter2824 audrey96558

    Posted

    Hi audrey, there are normally organisations in help carers ie they have one to one contact and sometimes help you with giving you a break from caring so that you can either have time out for you or go shopping etc.You have a computer so type in your browser (llttf) it will help. I am a friend of Dr Chris Williams and he is really funny. He will make you laugh, he really understands life as you know it. Just talk to him. He will put you right. Best regards Peter.
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