I'm nothing.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I feel like nothing is real, I feel life is just an illusion, my mother blames me for bring a laptop and leaving it at school, now she scolds me, my friend is trying to commit suicide, I cannot handle any burden anymore, I should tie a noose, and make it quick.

I feel no love to my parents, I'm forced to go to school even though am sick, I'm restricted to almost every social contacts, my parents doesn't love me, I don't see their love, I only feel their knives pointing at me, when I turned my back, I feel that when I asked my father or mother, they are mad.

I haven't cut my skin yet, I only see nerves of hate going through me, I only have 2 friends, yet others was just fake, I became nothing, no one cares, no one loves me, my mother has more love being given to my brother, and to my other cousins as well, but once my mother go front of me, her smile becames the bolt of pain that will surround me, I became limited, instead of becoming the unlimited millenial.

I'm still a student, in the grade 8, people are calling me weird, except for my two friends appreciating my intelligience, but I just show my fakest smile, fakest joy, I only sense hate, my mother stripped me off, now I'm just using a laptop that she gave me only once, she limits me over the media, where all informations are there.

I feel this, reaching my neck to strangle, I just let it be, while my parents are gone, I tried to commit suicide, secretly, by using my own made ropes from old wires.

I'm nothing, no one really needs to see this, only people who cares.

I'm happy to be nothing.

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  • Posted

    Hi Retropia

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    Hi Retropia - I'm sorry to read of your situation. I understand how powerless and worthless you feel. I am wondering whether there may be a Counsellor you can see at school? Or a favorite teacher, perhaps? The important thing here is that you let a responsible adult know what is happening with you, how you are feeling. They will be able to assist in getting the help you need. You might also want to keep a journal about what is happening, describe what has happened, how you feel, what you want to do about it. This journal can help pinpoint any triggers, situations or interactions that exacerbate your depression. Start finding help today.

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