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I've had depression on and off for about 2/3 years but only started getting help for it about a year and a bit ago through regular counselling. I've found that this has seriously helped me and completely changed the way i see myself, others and has helped me recognise my thought processes.
I would say i havent been depressed for about 4/5 months now, obviously i still have a few bad days (just like everyone) but i'm leading a life which is a lot more content and peaceful than it has been the past couple of years.
My problem is that half the time i find myself having to persuade myself that i dont deserve to be depressed again. I feel like half my brain is trying to make me depressed again, trying to make me think that being depressed will be safer and that i deserve it.. whereas the other half of my mind, the healthy part, is constantly battling to persuade me that i dont deserve to be depressed again and how im doing right now is so good and the best way for me to live..
Im just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this? 'wanting' to go back to depression even when recovery is so so much better? If so, what sort of things have you thought ro said to yourself to try and break free from this battle within your mind?
thank you, rachael :3
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