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I'm sad all the time

Posted , 4 users are following.

hopeless95
hopeless95

I'm 21 years old student, I feel sad and depressed all the time I have problems that cannot be solved. I'm having alopecia universalis which is an autoimmune condition where I lose hair all over my body "head,eyelashes,eyebrows...everywhere" and it has no cure so I always feel so down that in such a young age I look like an old man who is about to die, I cannot accept it at all I always wear a beanie to hide it so I look like a creep wearing it in summer while all other people are wearing what they like and enjoying the weather. I stopped playing football which is my favourite sport because my beanie might slip and I'd be embarrassed, I never go to swim too. I'm also not good looking even before this disease hit me so that's more depressing. I'm an introvert too I find it hard to communicate with other people, I might be very interested to talk with someone but just can't keep a conversation going and I feel that I'm boring so it makes me feel lonely and not special. I always wonder why do I have very bad luck in life, I mean how is it fair for some people to have almost everything and a life near to perfection and other people have nothing at all not even the basics. I mean how can someone be so ungifted with the minimal requirements to live. I was brought up by a religious family so I was always taught that god loves us and he's always there for us and he is fair to all but what I see in life that he is enjoying our pain, he is so unfair and he doesn't care for us so that takes me to another point where I have so much anger towards him I mean he is supposed to do something when I beg him and worship him, when he see me suffering and in pain so I reached the point of hating him, stopped praying and sometimes believe he doesn't even exist. I don't see the point of living and I wish I would just die soon to end my agony and rest. The thoughts of suicide and death hits me everyday I basically have no problem dying at any moment I even wish everyday when I'm walking in the street that some car hits me by mistake or some criminal just come and kills me. I can't take it anymore...

2 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • hopeless95
    hopeless95

    Posted

    Also sorry for my english, it's not my mother tongue

  • anon85986
    anon85986 hopeless95

    Posted

    Hi I am sorry you are so down. I am not sure if I am the right person to respond because I wish I was dead too.

    But, I am female and and find bald men really attractive. It is a type that I really like.  I think you are probably too hard on yourself and are more attractive than you think.

    I do not know what religion you are but sucide is unforgivable by God you cannot ever do it for this reason.

    Like you, even this morning I was praying wondering when God would step in and show me a sign, any sign that would give me something in life to look forward to.  I am trying on my end to move out of my depression with exercise, diet and staying busy.  But i too feel empty and alone still

  • hunbas
    hunbas hopeless95

    Posted

    Hello, I am sorry that you are going through this.

    The way we were born and the complications that came with us is something we can't change and we should remember that. Being upset over how we look will just stop us from living life to the fullest. It takes a long time for you to love your appearance and accept yourself, but you should tell yourself that you are beautiful. Don't let your medical condition stop you from doing what you love! Also I sometimes, just like you think that I'm boring, I don't have many friends but I do have a few great friends who enjoy talking to me. I'm sure you'll meet people who will enjoy hanging around with you~

    When I was young I had depression, but in my religion we believe that God will always compensate you for your suffering and having patience will lead to a greater reward. I held strong to my faith in God that he will help me, doing that gave me hope. Now I'm at a better position than I was before.

    Please stay alive, trust me life is worth living and it is beautiful. I experienced a near death situation and at that moment I wanted to keep living, I realized that life is beautiful.

    Regarding the issues you have with your appearance I can relate in some way. One of my beasts is extremely smaller than the other. I became too embarrassed to wear tight shirts or a low cut top/dress because I'm afraid people will notice. Now I wear whatever I want and it really has boosted my confidence! I suggest you try and take your beanie off, for a few hours, a whole day. Gradually you'll be confident to throw away all your beanies. I'm sure you're an attractive man!

    I really hope this helps you in some ways! Try your best! And as I always say to myself and other people...Never lose hope!!!

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 hopeless95

    Posted

    Hi young man...I am so, so sorry that you feel so sad...it is an awful, empty feeling...xx I can understand in a way, as my mother lost all of her hair when she was quite young...she always wore a headscarf....

    Why don't you try swimming young man...I do not know if you have heard of the Olympic swimmer...DUNCAN GOODHEW....he, like you lost all of his body hair when he was very young.....

    He swam to build his confidence, and his shining personality came through....so try swimming and football, hold your head up high, I do know how very hard it will be at first ( I have been there )

    BUT, almost always in life, we love people for their personality ,..not their looks...I am sure that you are a very kind and empathetic young man, who would be very popular....

    Please just give it a go, sport lifts your spirit...your energy...and your self esteem,, you are no doubt, a handsome young man in many other people's eyes...

    Find a couple of good friends who you trust, and start to go out with them...Maybe pop to the shop without your hat on, and build up from there....

    Also young man, it would be worth your while to go to see your doctor, he can help you with antidepressants and maybe even some counselling....,you have your whole life ahead of you to enjoy...please...please try your very best...when it comes down to it....looks mean nothing..,it is the person who you are that counts....and I am absolutely certain, that you are understanding, and a kind, compassionate young man, who would never ever hurt anyone...that makes you a lovely, lovely young man...

    Hold your unique head up high, smile and give life a go....

    Big warm hugs young man....dee xxx

    PS...I do understand, I have three sons who have suffered with mental health problems for very many years....so please, enjoy every single minute of your life, lovely young man...xxx

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