I'm seriously struggling.. I'm considering the worst.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I do have a fear of dying I won't deny that, But lately I'm at a point where I just think it's time to go...

I honestly can't put up with this anxiety any longer, like actually, It's getting to a point where I just don't know how to break free of what I am feeling.

This has been ongoing for around 2 months. First it started with what I believe is sleep apnea symptoms, waking up gasping for air feeling strange and off the next day felt fatigue for the first month.

Then my anxiety came back, Had 4 massive panic attacks the first one did something honestly.

What I mean is the first one was so severe and the breathing was so intense that I was close to passing out and ever since I've felt numbness consistently whether I am relaxed or stressed even when I wake up it's still there I just can't shake it off.

I've been breathing rapidly lately been using a brown paper bag to try help but it's truthfully not working, I've been getting aches all over my body, the fatigue is through the roof, Numbness in my body every single day, Even lately when I'm falling asleep or trying to sleep its like my body shuts down to a point where I'm dead but my brain triggers saying "wake up so you don't die" 

I'm just losing control, I see psychologists and everything, seen my GP like 4 times in the last week and my life just went from being really good to the sh*tter really really fast and unexpected.

I just don't know what to do who to turn to for help.

I've been on mirtzapine but I'm not depressed just depressed that this is happening all of a sudden but I'm honestly thinking suicidal every single day lately just because this is something I've never experienced before and it's so consitent that I just honestly feel like I have no options..

1 like, 10 replies

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    There is a way out of this! Awful as your symptoms are you can and will overcome them. There are always options. You are letting your panic cloud your judgement

    The fact that you are reaching out shows you want help so all is not lost. There is no return from suicide and it is a vile thing to do to everyone who loves and cares for you. They have to live with the guilt, the pain and the helplessness that will ruin their lives forever. Do you want to do that to them?

    Rapid breathing into a paper bag won't help.Literally gasping for air makes it worse. You have to inhale through your nose, hold it for 5 seconds and then let it out through pursed lips for as long as you can. This empties your lungs.

    Overbreathing causes all manner of nasty symptoms so it is important you get a grip on that by ensuring you breathe correctly. Make sure when you take a breath,ie inhale, your belly rises and that your rib cage does not expand.

    If you genuinely feel suicidal please, please, if there is no one with whom you can talk, please ring one of the Helplines! If it becomes  overwhelming then go to your local A@E and ask for help.

    Your life was really good? It can be that way again! Believe!

    Please keep in touch!

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  • Posted

    Sorry ho hear you are going through this. Helen gave some great advice there. I tried mirtapine and didn't really work for panic. I am now on sertaline maybe speak to your gp about out options. Suicide is not the answer and I am sure you know that too. However it's great you posted here as we are all in or have been in the same boat.

    Relaxing is key and find your happy place.

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  • Posted


    First off if you think you are seriously and imminently considering suicide get yourself to A&E or call the emergency mental health helpline if you have one. The Samaritans can also help, I have called them when I felt suicidal and they helped me.

    Mirtzapine, like other anti-depressants can be used to combat anxiety but there is a risk it can bring on suicidal thoughts, especially with the young. Most ADs take 6 to 8 weeks to work properly, have you given it enough time?

    Having been suicidal with anxiety I have some idea what you might be going through. Have you seen a psychiatrist and if not can your GP refer you to one? If you are in the UK there should be a community mental health team who can provide primary care. A psychiatrist will be best placed to advise on alternative medications you might want to try. There are lots of options so just because one does not work, others might. Dose is also important.

    BW, BM.

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  • Posted

    I honestly know what you're going through and I've said similar thoughts but realized I had to fight it I've been fighting everyday for the past month and my mental symptoms haven't went away and I'm in a constant fight with my mind but the key is to never give up or let it win!!! And if you'd like to talk about it more you can private message me on here!!!

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    • Posted

      A friend in need is a friend indeed! It was lovely of you to invite him to pm you. Talking with someone who has similar issues is the best way forward because sharing a problem is halving it.

      The only worry I had when reading you post , Kaleb, was the "fighting" it. Fighting adds stress and suggest you fear the symptoms. I think it would be far more helpful for you to mindset, not that you're fighting, but that you are determined to overcome it. Willpower and mind over matter are incredibly strengths. Havings said that I am impressed by your courage !

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    • Posted

      I too am thankful! Its comforting to know we are not alone. And reading other posts we realize we share many symptoms so that takes the terror out of them and squashes the imagination from believing we are dying from something awful

      The best thing is that everyone here, no matter how awful they might be feeling at that moment, rushes to help.

      You will get better, Kaleb! You are young and strong and life has much to offersmile I "see"  in you a very "determined " young man!

      Good luck and hang in there

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  • Posted

    Hey everyone.

    I don't think I could live with myself or let my family grief over me because I did something stupid.

    I'm from Australia, But this is insanity. Nobody truly understands anxiety to this level unless they've been through anxiety to this level themselves.

    Nothing I can think off brought this back on which drives me crazy unless me overthinking sleep apnea changed a thought pattern in my head.

    But like the symptoms I've been experiencing are so scary I don't know what to do anymore.

    I either just sit around and try fight it the best I can to just lose because I've been experiencing this for 2 months. I wake up of a morning and within a few minutes it's still there.

    I've been feeling I would honestly say the most extreme numbness feelings.. Thinking my brain is screwed. I can't get out of it.

    My mum doesn't understand the condition at all she's struggling to help me I feel like because of me this family is falling apart and I'm at my breaking point every day and can't win even if i fight.. 

    It's so hard nobody understands it besides those who go through this sad

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    • Posted

      Aw dear, your brain  isn't screwed at all! Anxiety Disorder is an illness just like any other so please accept that fact.

      It never fails to amaze me how many people want to know why. Why is this happening to me? they go round and round in circles driving themselves mad trying to find a reason. Very few do and what does it matter anyway?

      Finding a reason isn't an instant miracle cure.

      Where you are going wrong starts when you wake up. You are immediately thinking, How do I feel? You are looking to see if your symptoms are still there? And of course they are because your fear instantly triggers them. Then you think, OH GOD! They're still there!

      Then panic sets in and you're thrown into a vicious circle. A repeat cycle of fear, symptoms, panic, despair.

      When you wake up, get up! No matter how crappy you feel get up out of that bed and carry on with your day as best you can.

      Sitting around fighting it is the worst thing you can do. It means you've immersed yourself in your symptoms and you're struggling to make them disappear. The reality is you're making them worse by doing that.

      Your family isn't falling apart because of you. Don't let that notion add guilt to your problem. They just feel helpless that's all. They don't know how best to help you.

      Yor mum wants to help you. That much is obvious. Sit down with her, somewhere quiet and tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her you know she can't heal you, only you can do that, but that for you to be able to  explain exactly what it is you're going through, then that helps you by offloading some of the fear and tension.

      You have to stop fighting this. you have to stop focusing upon your symptoms and adding panic. No matter how bad you feel you have to go through the day as slowly and as calmly as you can. Only then will the symptoms lose their tight hold upon you


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