I'm so depressed and feel lonely

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I'm 40 years old from Waltham cross in Hertfordshire was with lady for 16 years happy and have 3 kids all was going well until I lost my brother he committed suicide because he couldn't have kids I had no help had to clear his flat where he killed him self and I struggle with it every day while this was going on my partner was cheating with work colleague come home from work told me she was going and taking kids with her I was in bad way anyway as lost my brother I shut my self away in my room for weeks couldn't deal with life my kids have been taken out there family home which destroyed me I can't stop thinking about everything its always in my head and can't best to be here anymore with Christmas coming up it gets very hard for me as I know I will be at my lowest as I'm so lonely

Last year went to help homeless people in Harlow people that needed help was heartbreaking but I was still going thru so much my self but needed to do this for myself as we have all been homeless at some stage and was nice to give something back to community

I dont think I can cope this year I seem to be getting worse imnso afraid to go doctors case they section me what do I do I'm so lost

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    @warren31361 hope you are feeling a bit better today and not so sad been worried about you
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      Aww thanks Julie I'm OK haven't been to well this weekend come down with bug stinking headaches and sore throat been sleeping most of it not been to good but will get thru I hope u are doing OK and u are OK really do apreciate your support and am here for u to if u need support to hopefully things change for both of us not asking to much to be happy

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