I'm Suffering From Depression, Even At Such A Young Age.
Posted , 8 users are following.
I'm Varun nd I'm 17 years old. I was just happy and so free in my childhood never felt somethin' bad nd alone. Everything goes well. But since I'm grew up, my problems, stress also grew up bigger than ever. Now I'm a 12th grade science student and I've tried a lot to focus on my studies but all i got was Failure in achieving it. My studies makes me worried and feel so terrible because the lack of concentration nd focus on my studies so I'm not doing much better in my subjects. I think that's one of reasons why I'm depressed. I'm a male of 17, actually I'm so sensitive towards every feelings of mine and others too. I'm over emotional, i mostly forgive people for whatever they've done to me and i still have mercy for those people who hurted me or bothered me. Sometimes, i overthink about me and my family future. I respect my Teachers a lot with heart and also People say that, "Consider teachers as your friend rather than a person who only teaches you", but Most of the teachers of my class are not supportive to me they try to make fun of me, sometimes punishes me. But,still i never said or think something bad about them., they still ignore my kindness and punctuality towards them, and thinks that I'm a bad student. I know I'm not good at studies, but I've a great talent of art and drawings but no one sees my talents (except my loved ones) they only see my bad grades nd performance in studies and then everyone scolds and punish me for it. Actually, I've no interest in studies but my parents forced me to do it now I'm doing that thing in which I've no interest. All my interest is in Art and i want to be a Pro. Tattoo Artist, but my parents will never allow me to do that. That thing makes me live in pressure and Depression not joy. There's rare friends in my friend zone on which i can trust and share all my pains. So, that makes me feel Alone. I got no support from my friends, family or teachers. I feel like I am stranger among them and i know how it feels when no one is there to care for you. There's no one to ask about me, there's no one to care about me, there's no one to cry for me, there's no one to love me, there's no one to support me. All i see around me is Sadness & loneliness only. I can't stop myself from crying almost every day, when thinking about those things happening with me. I got only few friends to whom i can share my thoughts and feelings, but they don't have much time to look at them. So, what should I do,! To whom i can say anything without feeling odd? The only way i see is talking to myself to free up my mind. Everyone is busy in their lives no one have even, some minutes to talk to me. I feel so much alone and this loneliness feeling just try to kill me. I'm so much tired of my life, i don't want a life like this. I just want to end my life, I've no more power to resist this loneliness. Living this life is like dieing everyday. No one understands me and my feeling and my interests. Even I've thought of suicide several times,but i throw that thought away just because of my family. I think my parents don't love me much, but i love them so much.
This loneliness runs to bite me. From morning to the night, i barely feel good. And, now this loneliness made me so depressed. I see no way of happiness in my life. There's just sadness and loneliness left all around me. How can i tolerate these pains,!....
I fell in love with a girl recently and some time later she shifted with her family out of the city permanently. Then, that separation pain hurtled me like hell. That incident made me more depressed and i decided to die finally. But, i thought just one last time about it. Then, I just dropped that thought. Depression is making my life worse.
What should I do to overcome this Depression..!
I'm worried about myself that I'm suffering from Depression at this younger age. My health is also drowning due to Depression.. This is just killing me everyday.... 😭
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Sorry, I can't write more,.. Because i can't hold my tears in my eyes anymore.... I can't stop myself from crying..
1 like, 6 replies
sophie41174 Varun98218
Posted
Adldiane Varun98218
Posted
Hello Varun my name is Diane. I am so sorry that you are so sad and depressed!! I can hear your pain loud and clear!! I am much older now but I remember when I was your age and being extremely sad and depressed and not feeling like I would ever be happy. But eventually things did work out and I got some counseling. The main thing that I heard when you were writing is that you are artistic and that you love art!! That is wonderful! Varun lots of artistic people walk to a different drummer they see things in their mind in a picturesque way. In their mind they see thing in whatever way that their particular art is😊. Am I making sense to you? Varun though I am doing better today I had to go to a doctor and work on my issues about why I was so depressed and anxious and get some medicine. Can you tell a school counselor or go to your parents and tell them how very serious your depression is? Or go to the ER? Is is very important that you get help. There is no shame in needing help I promise you. I care very much about you!!! Please chose some way and get help. Keep writing to us. Diane
wayne1962 Varun98218
Posted
Hi Varun - I'm sorry to read that you are suffering. Many of us here at this site can relate to what you are writing, how painful and lonely it is, lost and confused, exhausted with the endlessness of it, despairing that this is how life will be forever. Where to begin, how to begin, who to turn to. Diane's advice is the most sensible and effective available to you. You must seek assistance - tell a teacher, and/or the school counsellor, find a doctor, or present yourself at hospital. It might help to write it down, list the emotions you experience, describe the thoughts and feelings you are dealing with. Take that with you when you seek help in case the anxiety or emotion is too overwhelming. Then go with the flow. When someone has listened and is taking action, let them do their thing, whatever it takes, wherever it takes you.
This is a journey of self discovery and understanding. You will learn to recognise any triggers and will be furnished with coping skills. As you heal, don't let go of your dreams. It would be best to keep up the studies - an education really is important and your there now anyway, so you might as well see it through - but don't ever lose that dream of becoming a tattoo artist. Draw up your designs and experiment, create your own private library of them, where you can go to be alone and chill out doing something that you love. You could even take them around to the tattoo shops and show them off. They might buy them from you. They might let you observe them at work in exchange. Let you help out. Before you know it, you'll be inking skin and running the show. People will come from miles around just to get a Varun Stamp and their friends will all be pea green with envy.
First things first: tell someone how you are feeling. Get that help and let us all know how you get on. Everything will be alright.
kun43511 Varun98218
Posted
Hey Varun,
Your story broke my heart, as you seem to be the most kind person ever! Let me tell you first that if you didnt have anyone who cared about you, well now you have plenty! We are here to listen and help.
As all three previous replies mentioned, you need to seek help right now, can you elaborate on the healthcare system in your country? Is it easy to get hold of a therapist? If so then you need to really take action. Don't think at any point that your life doesn't have values, if anything you seem like a person out of everyones league. If you can't take art as a profession why not take as a hobby and express yourself through it.
Please don't cry as you don't deserve it, as Diane and Wayne said it will get better over time I promise, changes take time and now you are going through a phase that is making you a stronger person trust me. So hang in there buddy get help and know that everyone here is ready to listen =)
Guest Varun98218
Posted
I think you have gotten some good advice already, so I feel there isn't much to add. It is easy to tell that you are a very sensitive person, a lot of people who are artistic are so there is nothing wrong with it but it is helpful to shelter yourself a bit tbh - try to not let people get under your skin too much, learn to protect yourself a bit & try not too expect too much from others, I guess that is one thing where you set yourself up for failure, if that makes sense to you. You say they don't appreciate your kindness, talent etc - usually people take such things for granted, unfortunatelly, but don't let that reflect on you that much or make you feel not valued enough.
Also, don't let anyone tell you what life you have to live - not your parents or anyone, they are not you & it seems like they don't know or understand what makes you happy - it is a shame that they don't support you there but what matters is that you live a life that makes you happy & fulfilled instead of living a life others want you to live that makes you suicidal & depressed. Use your talent as an outlet, a kind of therapy, a place to forget all your struggles - your happy place (I find art so incredibly helpful there) & eventually you will be done with the studies, have a good education & can go into the world to do what you want, move away & live your own life around people who understand you (choosing your own crowd, so to say) - you are still young with a lot ahead of you.
Being artistic is a wonderful gift - you know you have talent even if others don't see it, you believe in yourself there & that is great. 
Don't look to others for validation all the time, make yourself proud & don't let other people bring you down. You are only 17 anyway, which can be a confusing time when one is still trying to find one's place in life, figure oneself out etc - don't put too much pressure on yourself, I am sure you will be fine. Never forget that you are the one who creates your life story...I am sure you can make it a good one. 
james88923 Varun98218
Posted
Hi Varun,
First of all, i want to say Don't worry about your future as you said your family not interested in your art career or tattoo making so do one thing if you are happy with this so go with it and start it as a hobby first. like, start it as a part-time, like other students go to play games you can go for your passion. actually, your parents just worried about your studies. so don't hurt there felling or expectations. you need to manage both the things. if you can't manage this now so you may be gone for some other unethical activities you may get involved in addictions. I read your questions and as per my experience, i feel that you're a very strong guy. so be motivated and go for it. Involve some new activities in your daily routine like go for walk make some new friends and share your concern with them. The results are they understand you better, listen to your problems and share thoughts with you. and then judge yourself which is better and then go for it. I hope one day you parents will understand you. All the best for future.