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I’m worried about my partner and our relationship, please help

Posted , 4 users are following.

tara96740
tara96740

Hello I need some help please, forgive me if this is long but I’m so lost I have no idea what to do. My partner or 7 years broke up with me 4 weeks ago out of nowhere. He left me with our 3yo son and I have heard hardly anything from him since. The whole situation was so left field, I didn’t see it coming. He broke up with me 2 days after I buried my grandfather so this has seriously knocked me into one of the lowest depressions I’ve ever been in. I have been to the doctor and I’m getting myself sorted but it’s him I’ve come to ask about. This behaviour is so unlike him, walking away without fixing things and not talking to me or any of our friends. He’s shutting himself away and I don’t know what to do. I’m so worried about him isolating himself. He won’t open up even tho he said that he went to see a professional I’m terrified that he really doesn’t love me anymore. Can it be the depression? Is it him trying to push me away? I’m so scared I really need help please 

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • gilip
    gilip tara96740

    Posted

    Hi there I am so sorry what happened to you. So hard to have a child and a relationship and just see the partner walk away.  And also just after losing you grandfather no wonder it has knocked you sideways. Please don’t think it was your fault maybe he had a midlife crisis  early or maybe he is depressed and will return when  he goes on meds or has therapy . Try and hang in there I am so happy you have a little son. Saying a little pray for you Tara x x x

    • tara96740
      tara96740 gilip

      Posted

      Thank you for the kind words, I know I need to be strong for his sake it’s just so hard that this has happened. I want to try and be more descriptive on the matter tho, I will explain in a little more detail.
  • borderriever
    borderriever tara96740

    Posted

    Tara

    This is very difficult to advise on. You mention your Grandfather I was wondering if your Partner has the seven year itch and home life is proving to be to stressful and He has moved on to a different relationship. You need to talk to your Partner, it may take time before this may be possible.

    Could you contact His Mother or Father and find out what has happened. Does he have any Siblings you could talk to. However I understand from above He has approached a Health Professional, you will need to discuss his health concerns in some fashion possibly this may be a waiting game and this is not really fair on you and your Child.

    Does your GP treat your Partner, if so could you discuss your concerns and fears with Him and see what the basic problem is

    We do not know how old you and your partner are?. Do you think it may be He has been unable to cope with your loss, or He feels overwhelmed with His life with you and child.

    Whatever you do, you have begun to attend to your Anxiety and confusion. Your child at three years old will also be a little concerned where is Dad is ?

    BOB

     

    • tara96740
      tara96740 borderriever

      Posted

      Thank you for responding, I will explain the situation a little better here. I’m 22 and my partner is 21. We met in high school and have been together without any breaks since then. I haven’t been able to talk to him as I’ve extended my hand to him, trying to support him but he keeps pushing me away along with all of our friends, he won’t talk to anyone. At the moment he is studying a masters degree in college which is very stressful without the added stress of the relationship, our son, driving early in the mornings/late in the night, lack of sleep, all the school work, thisis and holding down a job so he can drive to and from college. I’m being told it was all too much for him and he broke. It’s so hard the whole situation coz I’m just watching him while he’s throwing his life away and isolating himself. He just says he cannot think and he can’t talk to anyone at this time. I watched him as he shut down all his emotions and his feelings. It’s devastating. I just want to save him. I held our family together while he was going to college, supported all he was doing and he says he doesn’t love me, like that’s so impossible when all I’ve ever done is support him when he was at his lowest. I’m just so lost and confused and I want him to reach out to anyone.
    • tara96740
      tara96740

      Posted

      Oh and yes my son always looks for him, it’s hard to talk about the situation with him coz I don’t know anything. Just that he left and I can’t talk to him coz he’s shutting himself away. 
  • shaunalynn
    shaunalynn tara96740

    Posted

    Dear tara96740 im so sorry about your grandfather. Losing a loved one is so painful and grief effects everyone different. There is different stages of grief too. I know this from recent experience. My mom died unexpectly last april 2017 and 2 months later my best friends mom died. who i was very close with too. My best friend is in conseling right now trying to work thru this. She says if she didnt have me wasnt in counseling she wouldn't even still be here . So your going thru a lot right now. Dealing with the pain and emotion of your grandpa dying and your partner leaving and top of that being solely responsible for taking care of your little boy. That's a lot. First I would count my blessings that you and your little boy are safe and you have each other. Then I would try getting a hold of his family and make sure hes ok. Maybe he will go to marriage or family counseling with you. And he doesnt i would go anyway. At least that gives you an adult to talk to about all your feeling right now and help you process everything your going thru. I feel for you. Just keep your head up and keep pushing foward. Your little boy loves you unconditionally no matter what. And so does God. Things will get better but it takes time.

    • tara96740
      tara96740 shaunalynn

      Posted

      I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your reply. I went into a little more detail in one of the other commments if you would like to take a read. The more people thinking about this is helping and means so much to me 
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